Menewsha Avatar Community - Sophie's Escape [I need opinons]

Okay so I wanted to do a fairy tale like setting for a story so I thought of something. After coming up with this idea of a princess that needs to escape from her confine I decided to start writing it. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it and I need the opinion of someone else.

We only know simplistic pleasure whether it be from the plays, books, or some other form of propaganda. The city was nearly in ruin from their domain, desperate for something to free them. They were unaware though and could not pin point this desire for whenever someone found something they were exiled or killed. There were stories put out about how they had committed some heinous crime and needed to be punished for it, and were.

The city was controlled by magic. The healers were the ones who were the spies, making sure that everyone was doing as they were told and reporting anything bad that was going on. They often times set up crimes so that the rulers would not have to create a plot for that person to be captures and subdued.

It was no raining at it was the perfect time for someone to escape the confines of the city. Sophie stood staring out the window across the land, holding a strong indifference towards her brother due to the fact her life was essentially worthless. Her life was completely controlled by the Queen and the King, and if she did not obey they would throw her into the dungeon for a night or more. More frequently she would come up during the day to take care of her spoiled brother. She dreaded this though as she could distinctly remember the first night she had spent down there.

The dungeon was dark and dank with a foreboding sense of depression. It stank overwhelmingly of death, a putrid smell that could make anyone sick. This accompanied the varied squeaks of protest and skittering that were produced from the rats that resided there.

She could recall the first night she had spent down there while staring across at the massive landscape speckled with houses. She had been but six years of age then. She was eighteen now, the age in which most nobles are required to meet the prince or princes awaiting on them, in other words, their suitors.

For Sophie though, the thought of having a companion was as far fetched as being freed from the disastrous confines of her parents’, otherwise known as the King and Queen, strict rules.

She was stirred from her thoughts when she heard someone beside her. It was her brother. His hair was neatly combed and he was wearing a white button up shirt and black slacks. The glasses he wore were lined with gold and had silver frames. He was ten years old now but he held the authority of someone much older than her.

“When will my mother return,” he asked purposefully putting emphasis on the word my to annoy her for he knew who she was and hated her for that.

“She will return, Prince Joseph, when the war is over,” Sophie said.

“That is a horrid answer. Give me months.”

“It should be between six months and a year.”

Prince Joseph gave a sigh and pushed himself into the spot which she had been standing. She moved, almost willingly, to the darkest corner of the room where she stood waiting to be given a next order. This task was the most arduous of them all. She hated waiting more than anything else.

“Get me some food, I am hungry for a snack,” Prince Joseph demanded.

Sophie bowed slightly and left the room dreading what orders she might get if she failed to choose the right item. She walked down the stairs slowly not the least bit shocked when she met up with another maid that was descending the stairs at the time. It was Margaret, a stout woman that often took care of Sophie and had raised her.

“Well hello dear Sophie, how is the princess on this dreary day?” Margaret asked. “Did the foolish prince once again demand a midnight snack to be delivered at the most unusual time?’

Sophie laughed slightly. She enjoyed the company of Margaret, who was more like a mother than anything else. She chose her words around her wisely for she did not want to let her down.

“Indeed he did,” she said with a smile. “Maybe I will choose the correct item this time and I won’t have to worry about cleaning the entire place again.”

“Oh, that’s why I was told to make you clean the house from top to bottom. Good thing Prince Joseph was not here while that was done, you would not have gotten help from many of us.”

“Indeed the task took such a long time that I could have eaten three feasts that were fit for a God.”

The two of them laughed but they had reached the floor that Margaret had been planning to go to and they had to say good bye and part there ways. Now it was for hoping that the chef was there to help prepare the food. Sophie was not a very good cook and she had been placed in the dungeon for one night for burning something that Prince had demanded to be cooked for him. She shuddered at the idea of the food not being cooked to perfection. She was pleased though when she walked through the doors to the kitchen to discover that Jacque was there.

“Ah the beautiful Sophie is here at last,” he said with a smile. “Is the prince asleep or requesting a snack?”

“A snack and once again he was not specific in what he wants though to be honest he could just make the food appear in front of him due to how much training he has gotten in the past months,” Sophie said with a slight sigh. “Would you mind fixing something for him?”

“Not at all Sophie,” Jacque said.

Jacque and Sophie both went about preparing something. Sophie got the beverages and placed them onto a tray. She would be using the small amount of magic she had been taught to carry the tray up the stairs so that she wouldn’t have to deal with the weight. Jacque was fast and the food was quickly prepared.

After the large variety of food was placed on the tray Sophie took it and with her magic made it over just in front of her. She left then and began to make her way up the stairs, to where Prince Joseph now awaited his food.

As she climbed the stairs she remembered the time she had not delivered the proper food to Joseph. Her father, the king, had given her ten lashes for this act. It was all the attention her father ever gave to her but it was not what she wanted. She learned that providing a variety was the only way to please the Prince.

When she reached the top of the stairs she knocked on the door then slowly opened it.

“Dear Jo…” she began to call.

“you will not call me Dear and will always address me as either Prince Joseph or your highness,” Prince Joseph interrupted bitterly.