@FakeSunShine
Sick for four weeks? Wow. o_0 That's horrible. I don't think I've ever actually been sick for more than a week. I hope you get better soon.

And the boy is coming home on July 27, which feels like such a long time away. TT.TT However, I'm pretty sure that I will be doomed when he gets here because he's pretty resolved on "fixing my dysfunction" as he puts it. Hah. Not knowing how to swim is not a dysfunction--despite growing up on an island! But I know he wouldn't let me drown. He's promised to give me something floating at least.

As for kendo, the test actually WAS changed for me and my college going friends. It was supposed to be held in the first week of June, but my sensei asked the board to push it back, so college people would have time to train. This would have worked, but the problem is that I have a job that keeps scheduling over practices, and I can't just take off because I need the money. I haven't practiced nearly enough, and I just don't feel comfortable taking the exam. I mean, I could try my best, but what if I'm an embarrassment to my sensei? I think that would be worse...

@Okami
I ended up sending a message. <_<

psyrien, I need to call you!!

I'll do that tonight.

also when is the boy going to see his ex? I am curious, before or after he sees you. Glad you sent the message, but isn't that right before you go tot school again anyway.... ohh well. Then again, yeah!! i get tot go someplace but Mark won't be coming to colorado again.... really really wish h would.

You know, I realize that he never actually told me he was going to see his ex. I'm not actually sure if and when it's happening at all. I'm pretty sure that he will see her at some point this summer because he mentioned she would be in Chicago, but as for the exact date, I might have completely misinterpreted things. However, it would definitely be before he sees me, since, yes, it's pretty much right before I go to school again.

And so I'm not hyperglycemic or diabetic. I'm normal but may be predisposed to diabetes genetically. However, I now have a lovely little glucometer that I can poke myself to make myself bleed and check my glucose level if I ever have another episode of dizziness from food again. Fun. I hate needles. I especially hate it if I have to inflict the jab upon myself. ._.

OMG Mark was soo right about Chess (the musical), it is awesome amazing and so very very well worth it. i dropped everything and started to ignorem y mom due to it (bad ide), but yeah, soo epic, I am so happy iwth it. spaz spaz spaz. also Eagle's landing party is this weekend.

Anywya, chess has pretty people who have awesome amazing voices, including josh groban, and aaahh, i love it!!! so glad they brought it back ,and it even was what had one night in bancock yeha catchy song of doom!!!

hiri: i think that every person may fear that there child will turn out like them and many people just dont like that thought so they are scared to go and have a child i meann im a total f*** up in honesty and even if the little runt doesnt turn oput like me id have to listen to my kid ask me why the heck i have so many freaken scars all over my body and im not going to lie to my child but i honestly would not like to have to explain to my child what i have done and then convince the child thst i am stupid i am a fool and they shouldnt do it cause we all know when you say to a chinld not to do something they are just going to do it and i cant wear long sleeves for ever i hate longsleeves but i love pants.... anyway yea,... where was i. oh right. you and your boyfriend can make eachother stronger i think that if you know what has been done to you and you can establish that you hate it and you dont want to do it then maybe you wont and youll be the better persons... unfortunatly i am far to much of a chicken to dare test that theory please feel free to test it for me though. Im glad you get to see ami again aswell as your boy <3 congrats.

psyrien: i think i will be caling you Rie its in your name and thats whay ive been doing lately i hope you do not mind if you do please just let me know and i will not do it but untill that time i will be calling you Rie sop if you see the name Rie tis mostlikly for you. and yes i have been sick for atleast 4 weeks... its really not fun whatsoever luckly im crazy and am just moving on with my life. granted that could be part of the reason its lasting longer and longer and longer...ect. thank you for your hopeful wishes i do hope that i get better soon aswell. there are many things to be done and this silly little sickness is trying to getin my way. Im sorry that your boy is still so set on making you learn how to swim 'properly' Rie i thionk you will do fine i say go to your boss and say look kendo is reallllllllllllllyyyyyyy important to me as is this job and i know that you guys do need me but can we move my shift back alittle so this way i can get my practice in and then work. I diod that in summer cause i had 2-3 jopbs and they were over laping. i got them to move my shift back so this way i could get ready and actually get there ontime since i didnt drive and the busses toon like 1.5 hours. all you have to so is talk you to your boss if he sees your drive for kendo then he should understand just how important it is to you. and is you say" but what if i fail" well then hunny you are going to fall and mostlikly hard. you wont get anywhere with "what if's" you have to say that no way i can do this and i am going to do it with amazing style yopu need to tell yourself that you can do it and then youll have more of a drive to be able to actually do it if you fear letting someone down well by not even trying to take the test arent you also letting him down? you didnt try. i feel like if you try then no matter what because you gave it your all your sensei will be proud of you but if you just give up? wheres the pride in that you know?
also im sorry that you have to stab yourself for me i would be okay with doing it to my self but not someone else doing it i get really pissy and tend to hit or kick doctors i am not a good pactient at allll

Hiri: we can never let my parents know if that play they will flip and be like OMG josh Grobban josh this josh that and ill be really pissy XP

so uhhhh look i made it on for 2 days in a row. damn i typed alot for not so may posts...

Did you say Josh Groban? :love: Sexy voice!!! But Emmanuel Moire has a sexier one.....:drool: I love my French musical singers....

Okay, emoticon use done.

Psy: Yay for random messages! And I'm sorry you have to stick youself (I'd hate it too. Needles are the bane of my existence!), but at least we know why you were getting dizzy so much! That bit's good! Turns out my sis hs diabetes, too. But the kind with insulin instead of glucose levels. Adult onset diabetes is no fun on either side.

Dragon: has your mom told you that I'm bringing my CUTCO with me?? You'll get to see all the pretty, wonderful knives! :lol:

I guess I wasn't quite done with the emoticons. I must be in a more bubbly mood than I think I am, considering I have mosquito bites that are itching like crazy (especially the one on my elbow), and no demos today which = no money.... Two days of that too. :(

Yeah I'm pre-diabetic myself. My mom takes 2..3? shots a day. I don't mind needles but the thought of not being able to have sweets in the future (or at least not as much) scares me....Sigh, guess it's better than loosing your eyesight or your feet.

wow, well yes I am spazzy about chess.... oh wiat, need to move downstairs for that. I refuse to download itunes onto my computer, I have to when I have to, but i will try my hardest to not. Also also, have to buy DVD seprate from the disks, had I thought ahead.... oh wewll, but but, pretty CDs!!!

So now i have to spend some money on amazon.

ami: yea we did say josh grogan. also ill soon become one of the cutco people >.> i think. if i got to the interview tonight that is.

silver: You have a ... fun way to look at things hmmmm do i want my feet or do i wanna eat sweets!

hiri: i am totally lost what are you going on about?

SunShine: Good luck! Honestly, CUTCO's not the bad, and the knives are amazing. I plan on keeping my sample kit for-ev-er!!

Dragon has become obsesssed, me thinks!! Silly, silly Dragon! 10 days, by the way. And I only just figured out who "puppy" is. How does Mark feel about "puppy" being there??

ah, just now you understood who puppy is.... silly silly okami. Apparently Mark is fine with it (it isn't in his nature to not be fine with meeting him). puppy on the other hand, had the whole um, sure i guess, I still like you, but I have gotten over it a bit, but I find him really lucky. (in other words puppy is still jealous, but has accepted that I want this). Mark is not one to find a social situation awkward at the same time as interesting to see what people do. (oh wait, that is why I had fun during spring formal with him...).

Yes dragon is being silly and obsessed.

mark had no issues meeting you either when you came by. And treats it the same way, it is only Jared that he can never meet (or possibly later Eric, if he finds out more about that).Jared though due to Mark rightfully should punch him till Jared is bleeding badly. though knowing Mark, he'll just smack him over the head with wits and talk, and hten be grumpy for a few days. (i am not saying violence is the answer, but Mark does not take kindly to people who are like Jared now, (this is due to what Jared did a year ago) and Mark is extremely docile until he has a good reason to smack someone.

good story of this is where psyrien and I and Mark were all at a dance thing, I was dancing with psyrien, and mark was watching, at which point some guy went up to Mark and casually said, we should split those two up (seeing htat Mark was watching us). Mark kindly told him, that is my girlfriend, and her roommate, and they want to dance together, so don't ask them. So then, right after Mark explains this, what does this guy do, but goes up to us and asks to dance with either of us (he wanted to split us up kind of thing. Psyrien looked at me, and I kindly declined and said we wanted to dance together. Anyway, that pissed Mark off the rest of the night (though he is rarely possessive, he does not take kind to stupidity and people who ignore others completely). (I would have other stories, but I was here for this one, and had to deal with the aftermath of wanting to rant for the next 3 hours.).

ami: Unfortunately i ditched the interview i don't know i don't really want to plus i don't have a car so i cant like drive to make interviews with customers.

I don't have a car, either. But I guess it depends on how good the bus system id in your town. However, you do start out by doing interviews with people you know -- neighbors, family, friends' parents, etc. But, hey, I understand. I wasn't sure I really wanted to do this when I went for my interview; heck! I'm still not sure. I just know that if I don't do this, then my college money will be nonexistant.

im just going to think in it for a bit longer i think...

Eek, I missed a lot of posts. Anywho, to clear something up, I am NOT prediabetic or diabetic--fortunately or unfortunately, I don't know. We still don't know what the problem was. I just have the glucometer to test my blood sugar if the condition comes around again. ...and then we'll see if there actually IS something wrong, or if there isn't, we can rule that route out.

As for my kendo test, I am taking it again. ...I ended up talking to my sensei, and he still wants me to try. Because I'm doing this for him mostly, I will try. I don't know if I'll get the rank, but I will be victorious over myself. I won't quit just to avoid being a failure.

In other news, I miss being in Chicago--not because I miss a boy (I do miss him as well, but I'm more confused about that than anything else right now) but because I miss the freedom. I miss not having to ask permission to leave the house or beg for rides every time I want to see someone. I miss not having to deal with the law of you're not going out just because I feel like you shouldn't. I love my family, but I have seen my high school friends ONCE so far in this entire month and a half of summer. I miss being able to stay up and out late. I miss my independence.

im sorry that your family has taken away alot of the freedom you have had...

hey psyrien, I am in the same boat, it is a freedom that is what i miss. leaving and getting to do stuff with no plan is equally nice. Also I wish I could have a car, at times. i feel so much more free when I can go wherever i want, including shops, wihtout telling my mom, or making plans. Too bad going bakc with mom does not help that, but at least she gets that I will "disappear" all of friday night and saturday, and hten we are doing sutff sunday. But still she keeps wanting to make sure I do stuff and she knows where I am, so annoying.

my mom in the same always wantoing to know what i do but i am quite defiant i run off alot cause here at home all we do is fight and i just cant stand it i want to leave here as soon as i can...

I'd say I actually do have a pretty good relationship with my parents. It's just the freedom issue that's a problem. Because of the good relationship, I wouldn't jeopardize that by sneaking out. If I did that, my mom would probably lose trust in me. Leaving for college really is a nice solution. I wish I could drive. Then it wouldn't be so bad.

...and I think my cynical self is going to drive me crazy over the next few days. Well, actually, I think I'll be okay until Sunday--the kendo exam. I'll have that to worry about, so I won't be wondering about cryptic allusions to "complications." I am beginning to strongly dislike the phrase "it's complicated." I understand why you said it then, but curiosity is killing me right now. I wish you'd hurry up and figure your life out, or maybe I could fast forward to see the answer... or maybe just fast forward in general. I don't think knowing would make waiting much easier. Mmm.

And cold stone ice cream cup cakes are delicious. <3

Psyrien, I am soo sorry about the it's complicated!! I wish you ended up with a guy where that wasn't true. And why is your cynical self soo crazy right now (is it more than jsut the it's complicated? any new developments/ lack of it?

i like your elationship with your mom and dad, but it is liek my mom in the sense the good relationship means not loads of simple freedom, more complex as in they ask questions.

I'll be annoying and call you now.

Like I said on the phone. It's basically just a case of hurry up and wait. x_x

Hmm... Kendo tonight. It's been a week since I've practiced. Hopefully, I don't die. <_<

good luck on not dying. And i am wanting to go grr on my mom, I can't get 8 hours of sleep and 1 phone call (at 20-40 minutes) with Mark at all this week. today is bike to work day which means that we leave extra early to get food all morning, but I have like 6 hours under my belt.

Ewww.... not fun. I had to get up earlier today, too, because I have a demo to do at 9:00. I also have an interview with AE this afternoon. Maybe I'll get another bit of income!!! Oh, and on top of that, this weekend, I'll be petsitting for two different families. I'm supposed to stay over at the house for one dog, and the other two are big Goldens. They're so sweet!! Anyway, got to run over to my demo!!

i wish you luck ami..

Thanks SunShine! I didn't end up selling anything, because, we'll his wife is a pastry chef and they have, like, 3 sets of knives and even 6 ice cream scoops!!! Still, he gave me a few recs, so that's always good. Can't do CUTCO without those recs!!

Hopefully the luck will be concentrated on my interview in an hour....