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-   Poetry (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=128)
-   -   kumi's critque (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80261)

kumi 12-10-2007 11:19 PM

kumi's critque
 
im just randomly putting down poems i have randomly written and anybody else can down there also

A song of life
I am inspiration
Leaping, from page to page
Expressing all emotions,
Happy, sad, angry, and more,
Made from rhythm and rhyme,
A dance of song
Like a living, breathing thing
Changing, evolving over the years
To new sounds
I am inspiration

Jenn_heart 12-10-2007 11:24 PM

i like the poem overall, but the emotions part seems a bit out of place. i mean, you can find a better way of saying "and more".
but still, its pretty!

kumi 12-10-2007 11:28 PM

thx for the advice ^_^ ill work on it


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