random

oh yeah
eating
that will foil plans
maybe that is my issue
that i should run
but am not?
but maybe that is a good thing
fro I want to
but it seems hard
when I know
I will be missing one
like last time..

random

can I even count
or is this all a lie
is it all happening
for no reason
or is it
that i jsut should stop carring
lie kI did earlier
but social life
or none
is that what i am stuck picking
right now?

random

what is it
when I am done?
what is it
when I seem to think
it will all be over
is it ok
or is it just a lie?

random

I watch the numbers
go up
and wonder
what if
what if this all died
what if in the end
i froze
what if i tried harder
is that what would have happened?
or is it that in the end
I chose certain things
because I could
and the rest
because I had to?

random

this smell
i want it gone
but I do not wnat to lose the time
it is me
that i worry about
it is the fact
i could have started earlier
and didn't
but maybe that is the point
that one day
i won't wake up
ever again.

random

in the end
can I see it all? or is it just lines
to be seen?
with no purpose
in them?

random

can we see it all
and can we not
is it reality
or is it fake
it is all what your senses believe
but what if they were wrong?

random

should these be counting
or are they not?
I want to know...
for it looks like they aren't but I am not positive
at all.

random

I know I do it
and it is cute in theory, when one falls asleep
but the one asleep
always wonders
if it bugs the other
but I believe
that it is fine
for right now
it is ok when one is tired
when one can't continue
but remind oneself
that it is important
to see it all
with a clear light
and in the end
I wish
good night
to the one I love

random

liscense

why did I get it today,
it is quite useless
today
I leave
never to have a car
never to need it
I understand it is useful
but still
I don't want one
I don't see the point
I can relitivly drive
and because of that
can survive
so please tell me
why I see
that everyone wants me to get
this piece of paper
that seems
soo useless

random

sometimes I wonder
is it ok that i am silent
is it ok
that in hte end
I want ot jsut be next to someone
that the time i feel
it is late
that I am busy
but want the company
that i don't want the room so silent
but I am like that
but maybe
it is just
that I want one person
to be around me
once again

random

saving the day

it is only when
one thinks
of the knight in shining armor
but what about the guy
who finds what is lost
finds what one needs most
at that point in time
is he not the same
if not better
than the gallant knight
all coated in silver
who can slay anything
but what for those of us
who just need to have found
what is lost
whether it be sanity
glasses
or even a lost emotion
maybe that is why
I feel
sometimes one is
my knight
that saves the day

random

being around you

it is all about being around you.
it is just
that when you read me a story
or tell me that it is all good
that we are doing nothing next to the other,
yet we are adapting to the other
we got use to
just being near
yet doing something
that is just near the other
taking care of the other
but understanding
that no matter what
it is that we are near
and that
through it all
we are adjusted
to not spend all time thinking only of the other
but when we are together
it is something
to around you
at the very least
we are near use to small interaction
enough
that maybe
hopefully
we could
live together.

random

where did the time go?
where did we go?
what happened
to the many hours of the day?
can I see again?
or anything else
as we lose
the time of the day
into night
and are never
to be seen
again.

random

love hurts

I sit
crying the day away
wishing it was later
wishing it was tomorrow
wishing I knew what I was doing
it is the fact of life
continue on the path
watch me sit
and wait
and watch me not know what to do
it is hard
but that wait
hurts
tells me in the end
to do what i want
that if one does
that if I don't wake up
that if i wait
maybe i'll stay asleep all day
maybe it is just me
but I'll return to my silent self
return the the pain that I have caused
that wretches into nothing
but that is why
it is important
that I never show feeling
again

random

sometimes I wonder
what are all these droplets
what is this glass bead
where they drip off slowly
and what if it hits
and shatters
itno molecules
can it all just disappear?
into the rain

72. Disguise

who is the person
in the end
do we hide under the masks
of everyone else
left at the hands
and a faceless body
but puts on the mask
and say
that maybe
are they the same
or can one
be so drastically different
that there is never again
the same thing
so believe in the mask
that is
just a disguise
of the person
inside
faceless
to them self
as for they
are only the hands
that pull the strings

96. Sensitivity

I wish i could be
the one who didn't feel
who's emotions never broke
but I am not that person
for
it is taht person
who can never feel compasion
the farther the wound is
the farther one is sensitive
the more one understands
is sympathetic
but maybe that is all just a lie
for when can we be sensitive
when can I pretend
the tears never happened
the rain
on the inside
broke the glass part
of my sensitivity

random

"she is mine"

one must ask
when I left
is she yours?
and the response
reguardless of where I was
and mentioned earlier
yes, she is
at some point I feel like the grace
the emotion
I do finally belong
but at the same time
it is interesting
for it is now I am an object
or partially one
it's grace
un saving
the leash
unweilding
for all of time

random

there is no satisfaction

left in me there can be none
I do what i can
do everything
i should be proud
i should feel like I am not so stressed
that the work is more done
that life is off a bit
that later
there is a reward
external
or internal
but i feel none of that
all I feel is the emptiness
that is boredom
and wondering what to do
when I sit there
lonly
within my bed
unable to wake up
unable to control
the feelings I have
the company
the want
I strive for
knowing one day
it will all disappear.

30. Fantasy

imagination, that is not in reality.
The mental images of nothing
it is best to assume
that through the ages
nothing can stay stable
but the fantasy ones sees
is it just that there is nothing left
but with hope
comes imagination
that there is something else out there
that in each time
there is somethign better coming
that is why fantasy
and that is why people can live
in a different world
away from their own
better in someways
however realistic or not that proves that nothing is left in the end
but the imagination
of fantasy

67. Design

I don't think I am all that great at it
sometimes I can be
mostly I am not
the art
the way to make soemthing look pretty
I want to learn how
i know how to be functional
what my definition of pretty is when I see it
but I can not create a design
out of thin air
so why is it
that that is my major
make buildings pretty
that is why I don't want to make my life make sense
I want ot jsut hide
and see it all
just disappear
but design is everywhere
and so I will continue
to ask help
and learn

random

if every day
was just the same
would I be happy?
would it exist for me
is this why
when I stare back
at the issues
unbroken
not fixed
but not repaired
are we to stay that way
and watch
it all fall
for it is when
those times ago
that we saw
but yet
it is now
that we sit
quiet
not doing what we want
just doing what is necessary
can we go on
or will we find
that one day
it is pointless
to continue.

23. A time for everything

there is always a time
for what I want
the time to read
the time to want
the time to do work
the time to sit
the time to wait
the time to sleep
the time to listen
and the time to reflect
it is all that is time
the time exists
for one
for many
to do
as they wish
for everything
they wish
to do
for all of time

64. Social Circles

I have lost most
yet here I am
creating more
creating we
instead of I
instead of one
I am many
i move through people
to others
it is just human nature
or so the class says
no one looks at themselves as unique
but instead
how I am
in the group
may I please
just watch it all fall
as these social groups
break
and turn
into something differet
looking only at what is common
and less to what we are like
that sets us appart
but when is it
that one realizes
that one as the same as others
makes people realize
they are not needed
by the group
ever
is how the social groups
work well
they create
automatic
to have what I want
or what we want
but that is the point
less I
more we