47. Taming the shrew

can one ever tame
that girl
the one
hysterical at time
unable
a annoying attitude
do people know she is a shrew
when they see her
or are they disguised?
hold me close
understand
that to tame me
to make my emotions bend to your way
curl
and control
all that is left
tell me I am a shrew
andi will hide back
look at it all
and in the end
collar me
tell me right from wrong
tell me it won't be tolerated
and any girl
can go
from shrew
to obedient person

13. Locket

the locket
I seem to wear
the ring
around my neck
the choker
the belt
it holds me down
ties me to anyone
ties me to the one
who has the key
that with it
I lower my head to him
he takes the key
and unlocks
me
from my tie
to him
and I give him
what is left
my love.

32. Soft hearted

I am not at all
feeling this way
till I see
people
who I feel for
I watch my heart
turn to mush
till I see what is left
till I understand
I want
to be there
to do the small favors for people
I am small
and for that
I am considered softhearted
for wanting ot help everyone

80. Reason and Emotion

I am not emotional
or so my reason side says
you need not a boyfriend
the one
who looks after you
it is pointless
you can look after yourself
your time commitment
means nothing
so in the end
my emotion looks but
and only wakes up with the kiss
with the hug
when I see him again
the emotions flow
and my reason stops
for the fun it has
the emotions
overwhelm it all
the struggle to understand
and the struggle
to follow my emotions
in the end
I hope one day
to find a medium
that they are both satisfied with
for otherwise
they will fight
reason
and emotion

end of this list, starting the new one (this is the second list)

1. “Love me, lie to me, but do not leave me!”
2. Growing up
3. Secrets
4. Intoxicating
5. Skin
6. Playful
7. Irresistible
8. Like a cat
9. “What are wings for if they cannot set me free?”
10. Girl’s night out
11. More than anyone else
12. Playing for keeps
13. Locket
14. Knocking on your window
15. Escape
16. On the verge of something brilliant
17. Bite me
18. Wild parties
19. Underneath your wing
20. Ghost Town
21. Marks
22. Forgetting
23. A time for everything
24. Sentimental value
25. Useless
26. The sweetest thing
27. The popular crowd
28. An outsider
29. Half in love
30. Fantasy
31. Dragon
32. Soft hearted
33. Connotations
34. “Oh! My love, with me you must contend.”
35. Lyrics
36. Sun
37. Vacation
38. Hideaway
39. Puzzle pieces
40. Living and never loving or living and loving, but losing?
41. Liar, liar
42. Too close for comfort
43. Friends or lovers?
44. Let’s play a game…
45. The concept of forever
46. First things first
47. Taming the shrew
48. Old gods
49. To do list
50. Rebel
51. Inexperienced
52. “Free as a bird and just as lonely…”
53. Swearing
54. Musically Inclined
55. Creativity
56. Touch
57. Puppet
58. “What makes you so special?”
59. Copycat
60. Better off as lovers
61. Wrong
62. Inside out
63. Tuck me in
64. Social Circles
65. Refreshing
66. Tailoring
67. Design
68. Outfits
69. The many faces of me
70. Quality over quantity
71. Jewelry
72. Disguise
73. Baking
74. Just for you
75. Holding on too tight
76. Giving up
77. Learning to fall
78. Breathless
79. Paradox
80. Reason and Emotion
81. Submission
82. The flip side
83. Stuck in my head
84. Too young
85. “Dazzle me!”
86. The Stage
87. “The night is young…”
88. Response
89. Listening
90. “Because I am obliged.”
91. Dark Horse
92. Hiccup Cures
93. Compliments
94. Eyes
95. Bad timing
96. Sensitivity
97. Too nice
98. Bittersweet
99. The road to hell…
100. “As you wish.”

reflection

looking back on this list


The list fits well, thank you very much Psyrien. As I have walked the roads, I have gone through the summer, fall and winter now. For I feel I never held a boyfriend over fall time, it is hard, and very different, and this list complemented nicely. The times of innocence has disappeared, and I am seeing what it is liek to be holding onto the relationship, that it means, to no longer be freighted by the lack of the relationship, but be glad to see it coming together, with a small fear for the future. It is only then do I start to understand what is meant, with the maturity that has come, with the fact, I can not tell him, that I love him, yet we both know that there is a connection. For he is as silly as me, and wants to be uncertain, promise nothing, but know, that tomorrow, he'll be there, holding my hand. We may not be here for eternity, and hopefully won't stay, but without emotions said, this list, was gifted, as a way, to keep me thinking, to the romantic side, the innocence, I have almost forgotten. Thank you.

random

the loss
I have cried
so many times
so many winters
never understood the conenction
why I feel gone
why i start crying
and wnat to stop
why i feel it is pointless
and it is coming ot light
sadly
but realizing I have no sense that people want me around
it is self esteem
but worse
from yelling
to just plain getting ignored accidentally
to not getting with someone
I wonder
why I have tried
why i cry
is it that I haven't let go yet
that I am too afraid to walk by myself
or is it that in the end
I see that I don't want to be alone
but the fact
I feel as such
for this I cry
for this I wish I could tell others
and warn them
yet it seems pointless
to ask it
for everyone needs their space
even me
but there are times
I jsut don't wnat it either.

random

so school has started
I have a condo
life has returned
daily life
ins and outs
and I wish I could do more stuff
wish I had time
wish I could work on things
but now I can't do anything
but sit wait
watch me never be on the computer
never do anything
but spend time
sitting
remembering to do everything
possible.

random

the condo

we finally have it
after time after time
since thanksgiving
one week till my birthday
we finally close
we finally wake up
and see
we go out
we buy furniture
we see IKEA
we have fun
we get all black
but understand
we have a special place
someplace new
someplace
I can live
not squashed
in with my stuff
told to sit
do nothing
but instead have some room to move
places to be
and see it all
for it is nice
to be free
free to survive
on my own
free to see
and to live
without the running
of nothing else
lovely places
I wish I could be
jsut the wait now
till I
can get a key.

random

I have come to miss these talks
the slight pestering
to get me to open
enough to talk
itried
while you wre grumpy
tried while you had issues
yet you refused
called trouble
one day I gave up
went silent
yet now
we are carefree agian
is this what it requires
us not having problemns
in order ofr us to not care
what in the end is wrong
I want you around
but have myy own work too
so in the end
it isn't my choice
for you see
I want
to remember
the time together
as
precious

31. How dare you!

how dare you
my dear
my love but not
you know what I wanted to say
or at least that is what you want
what you said
as if knowing what i say
before I say it
it means nothign to you
to use this
to say something well
something inciteful
instead you tell me i never talk
get me worked up
complain in my face nothing
then we get home
and just as you stop
you go off
and ignore me
how dare you
wanting to kill zombies
instead of what you asked
jsut let me be
let me say my peice
and you might even get what you want
yet there you are
i have to drag you through the waters
you think I am not interested
bull
why do you think I listen
when no one else is left
why do you think I am by your side
wanting to fix you
even after you call me names
abuse your right
and destroy what i was trying to do
it means nothing to you
how dare you
yet I can never yell to you
never seem upset
when I am around you

random

your loneliness
your emotions
that which you have a hard time with
why is it?
why do you feel to say
nothing
to never understand
yet you do
you have been hurt
yet I watch
and start to understand
your fear
your emotions
that i have
dripping like a wet trail behind me
knowing i need to carry a mop
yet you
you know nothing
you know and say nothing
of your world
say nothing
of how you feel
you don't use it to your advantage
and use it instead
to say emotions don't matter
yet you yourself says
everything matters
yet i disagree
throwing a fit now
that you do
throwing the time you spend with me
the time that you hold
not knowing why you are in this anymore
did you ever?
when did you decide?
but you yourself
don't seethe hope
that i see
in you

Of course, I happen to disappear from mene while a thank you was written. *shakes a fist at school* Anywho, you're very welcome. I'm happy that I could help you remember the lighter side of things.

...I just don't know what I'm going to write for some of those topics. Seriously, what am I supposed to write about "Marks"? <_<

um, writing Marks on my back, or the giddy roomate of yours who can in saying looky looky!! or marks on a wall...... Alot could work, yeah, then again tied to me makes more sense...

16. Lone wanderer

i feel this way at times
looking back
in a decimated area
hills
city
desolate waste land
with newspapers covering them all
yet here i stand
looking for you
wandering around
the junk I find
looking wandering alone
trying to find your lone self as well

14. Happy Birthday

happy birthday
it is something I want
it was fun
going out for dinner
and lunch
and going out the day before
for my wonderful friend
or my bed mate
or my boyfriend
your choice
took me out
to see underworld
but then
we had amazing time
wonderful
with me
and my roommate
not quite my bed mate
but the fun
the tiem i had
was worth my while
fun
entertaining
and yummy
although small
my gits were
though the dragon awesome
it is nice to know
and to see
the dragon
and my jingles
again
yet my birthday
was almost surpassed
by the condo
a week before
but in the end
they seemed different enough
i was happy
and htat was important
that i did indeed
have
a happy birthday

11. Things I didn’t know

there are things i never knew
many things
that you did indeed care
that you didn't see how you hurt
how I hurt
that in the end
we were still there
that you had seen my wants to cry out
and say something
but chose not to
that you wanted me to talk
once again
and to stop being mute
the doll
that sits next to you
and instead
open up
to the people around me
that is what has slowly happened
over time
after we stopped talking
after it
in the end
you talk to others
never me
and then want nothing to do with me
and that indeed
started to kill
everything.

25. It takes two

it takes two
to have a relationship
to have a conversation
to have fun with another
it is amazing
but hard
for there is much time
that I wish I could explain
that I missed that
and will always want it
that I will want to see you again
that I come over
but in the end
it is why
i wish i had
someone who could deal with me
someone
who I could deal with
as well

30. Kiss me goodbye

Shina sits next to her boyfriend, both of them typing on their own, scrolling through site, though in their own world. The silence other than the keys, nothing makes sense anymore. Shina recalls the last conversation they had. It had been a few days. Never the less, Shina had to head to school, such was her life, though she loved every moment with her boyfriend, she wished to be able to talk again. She though about saying something, to break the silence, but she had second thoughts. Watching the time turn, five minutes till she had to get ready to go and leave. She returns to her computer, and tries to lean closer to her warm boyfriend. No response. she took note and went back to her computer, watching the time count down in the corner. 3 minutes. A few more clicks. 2 minutes. No new news. 1 minute. The time seemed to pass so slowly in the morning. In the silence. She turned off her computer, scooted away from her boyfriend, who seemed to at most notice a movement in the couch. she knew he paid more attention than that, but it didn't feel like it. She put her labtop in her bag, put her socks and shoes on and headed to the door.

"see you later." He looked up, as if not to notice any movement that had shown she was leaving. He got up.
"you could have mentioned it."
"I have a time limit."
"Ok, and I seeing you tonight?"
"If you want."
"Call me when you are done with class."
She opens the door, and walks down the stairs, he follows after her.
"I will."
She unlocks the door and goes out.
And turns around, waiting for something.
He closes the door behind him.

She hangs her head
all she wanted
was her kiss
goodbye.

random

after all this effort, i finalyl got it
plan one
part one
get soemthign worth value
was going to
for everythign else
but no
peopel have to ruin my plan
my plan to make it big
to make everything worth while
and now I feel stupid
bought 100 in sets
and nothing
why did that happen
I blame them all.
but my own fault I guess
but oh well
i will sit
being happy
if I can just get
what I really want

random

do you write things?
what is online
you see
it seems liek nothing is there
you assume I don't write my life here
you are slightly wrong
though not really
this is all public information
or so it is
but on the other hand
it is private
do not ask me
about it
my whims
my emotions
my fear
all written here
yet you don't hunt for it
the fact my journal is here
my diary
my life
that is just what it is
I can still see the time
I choose you
the time i was unsure
but these days
i see only you
it is what I want
sometimes I wish I could write these to you
or that you would read them
for only psyrien does
but in the end
you don't really know
how much
is written
at the tip of your fingers.

no my bunny offer fell through

for it seems the exchanges hates me so
nothign to give
nothing to take
it all plans
to forfiegt my money
to nothing

53. Solitaire

I watch you play
and I watch myself look
it seems do you want it
the game itself
is true to it's name
you want the solitude
you want me not here
but in the end
you seem unphased
and for that I am glad
for it seems
otherwise
We will never get over this hump
that causes nothing but problems
from our own
solitude
from palying games
like solitare
by myself.

50. The game and its players

The game we all play
the point of where we see everything
where we socialize
with everything
we all play
we all see it
it is the game
of life
the game
where we chose our actions
and watch them effect others
thati s how it is
that is how it will be
in the end
we are nothing
but the pieces
who play a game
in the end.

random

will you paly with me
my silent type?
wil lyou paly iwth me
my levely boy?
my toy you are
the thing i want to clutch
so soft
so fleshy
the piece in my mind
and the peice back
you peirces into me
wanted to paly
though we know we have a small problem
you tie me up
put me into it all
and dress me up
the beuty that I can be
the collar around me
bound
will you play with me
my dear?