90. Wrapped up.

wrapped up
in my own facination
wrapped up
in my own fear
wrapped up to see the world
as a cynic
wrapped up
to see that nothing is left to exist
please let me go
but wrap me up again
in your warmth
your friendship
your love
however cold it can be
take awat
what has tied me
to my selfishness
and allow me ot see
the world around
as you hold me dear
wrapping your arms
around me

76. When your mind’s made up

it seems liek you never want me
when your mind is made up
you toss me aside
you see no point
in having me around but then again
if I have my mind up
I will destroy us both
disintegrate it all
become a pyro
to the relationships
but don't make up yuor mind about me
not now
not ever
for it hurts to watch you know what you want
and me destroy everything
in your path
but for that
that is why
I live
watching your emotions
for fun

43. I’m not his keeper.

I am not his secretary
or the person who takes care of him
the fact I see him every day
the fact i know where he is half the time
is because I can be
don't use me
to decide what you are doing
to decide
how to tell him
I am not his messanger
not his keeper
for he indeed
holds me
here

35. Excuses, excuses

excuses
you use them
to get out of the argument
to stop placing hte blame
the fact
you ran away
the fact
that no matter what
you wanted me not here
that you wanted to see me not at all
that you don't care
that it seems pointless
it is odd
for I want to run
I want to see you again
adn sleep
till eternity
with you
but you run away
with your excuses
refusing to see your reasons
behind
everything

45. So much to do

there is soo much to do
so little time
there is much time
I wish to see
there is much time
I do not have
I have a task
a project list
a energy
never ending
but give me a day
to relax
and I'll see
that there is soo much to do
and nothing left to do it with
want to come there
i want to be done
but in the end
there is nothing I can do.
but understand
there is too much to do
and too little time

10. A picture of you
I wish to have
a picture of you
a picture of the one i love
that tells me what I liek to see
and nothing that I don't
give me a chance to see
that eventually
i will see nothing
but the life that is left
and give me a chance to
remember
when all else
is gone

78. Trade off

trade of of my love
my happiness
for a unbroken heart
it hurts to being love
but it is the trade off
for being in love
for never wanting someone
again
the trade off
of spending all dya
all night
with you
in exchange
for being here
being with you
exploring with you
all that there is
all that there can be
and that has to be
the trade off

3. The price we pay

the price we pay
for convenience
the price we pay
to keep me happy
to keep you happy
money
is of value
time is of more
so in the end
I wish I could just stay with you
and be be happy
with you
for times
and with you
to keep you with me
and with you
to remember
the times
we had together
but eternity alone
and efficient
is the price we pay
for relationship.

44. As long as you’re mine

as long as your mine
i don't care
if you sometimes talk of other girls
as long as your mine
iwsh to hold you dear
as long as your mine
I want to see you daily
and remember everything good
and nothing of the bad
and in the end
as long as your mine
I want to be there
and never let go.

random

we want to talk
we don't have to every night
I want to have something
something again
but do not yell at me
I will break
I have
it tore me down
and only then
are you willing to listen
do I have to cry
to be heard?
for you to be there
but in the end
let's try soemthing new
until it works
you want a break that I can give
but give me the time
to actually remember
what it was like
to just have fun
again

random

it is time
it is time
to try soemthing new
are we forcing such thing
possibly
it was not your fault now
it was your fault earlier, you attempted
to keep me there
to remember everything
to actually be what you want
to talk
but I can not be a simple tool
and you want me not to be
so in the end
should we stop trying
and remembering
just the same

shattered glass

the shattered glass
left alone
we once built glass
and in the end
we started to peck
and slowly it cracked
but right now
teh galss has fallen
you have no wants
to bring it back
but I am in no condition to help either
for every small peck
every time I see the shards
I am starting to break
internally

67. Love letter

you had missed it
when you saw the rest
very different
I msut admit
though I put it elsewhere
on purpose
you did things for me
so that never agian
we would have issues
remember what it is like
when in the end
we still stand
holding each other's hand
we take no offense
but the love letter
all nine
was your idea after all.

72. Delicious

the touch
the taste
every lick
the change in it
the slightly salty
but never super sweet
the warm
unending thirst
you fill me back up
and make me wnat more
like an addiction
for you
are delicious
my love

51. S.O.S.

can you hear me
calling for it
calling for help
calling for you
to take me away
please hear it
please understand
that we are all to see
that one day
when I cry
there will be
no one left
to save me

random

I notice it
the distance
the loss of it
I don't like sharing
but I should
was it my fault
for not spending time with you
cause I have someone
who I go to at night
and yet I watch
as you are starting to slip through my fingers
to no longer be
something I can rely on
you are yet your own person
but I yearn again
for what i had
with you
and that it will probably
never come again
for you have found
someone else
to be with

random

do you no longer want my stories
or have you found someone new?
you walk away
don't wait
just wlak away while listening
and we all wonder why I feel back stabbed
gone from humanity
I have been trying to hold you there
and yet you are running away
I guess news is worth nothing to you now?
but if so
please stop it
and mention something
though it is my fault
that I have it hear
you can find it
but probably won't
for you
it is all
just the same

St. Patties dya, not much to do
I sit here
lonely
remembering all that is avalible
a peice of katsu
good food
but nothing to celebrate
a time
for I am old
but not old enough
to celebrate this day
by haivng a good time
and drinking
my hearts desires
away.

I knew it was wrong
i know it was wrong
what i did
and for what I did
i should be punished
I should feel what i do
the guilt
of knowing
yet doing so
the break of confidentiality
i guess that is why
I have issues
or so they say
or so it may have jsuted happened
maybe that is what happens
whnen I get passive aggressive
i don't consider myself such
but then again
why do you see it all
and why do you understand
that my reason
is nothing more
than me freaking out
from the lack
of talk
that makes it harder
to even then
read

random

You make me say it
You make me admit
To being horny
To wanting more
To want you to be there
To remind me
Of everything
Is it cute?
Is it something that gets you off
Knowing that you are wanted
But either way
You know what I want
You know I want to do anything
Yet you do ask
Something I like hinting at
But yes
Telling
Is something
I am not ever
Good at.

random

the sitting
the dulling
the pain
of creating gravel
but is it jsut me
of does every circle
every dot
is nothign more than a small thing
where we can do nothing
but sit there
mind wandering
yet I can still talk
and listen
just
my hands
are being used
work
without needing
a brain
Zombies

random

time passes
I wish it didn't
I remember when nothing mattered
when my time meant nothing
when I hung out with everyone
but I became unreliable
eaten by the truth
that i had homework
I can no longer sit and endless
having fun
such is the time
i never mind
but I wish at times I woke up
from this nightmare
and stopped being chained
to a work load I asked for
to have some sleep

random

can you just leave us alone
you silly undercalssmen
laughing all the time
never understanding the distraction
this isn't your playground
this is your cage
like it is ours
now sit
work
and if not
be here
and have what little fun is left
before you see the drain
of your work
take you away
and return you as an empty shell
like it has us

random

where are you
my love
you have left me
to do work
liek the time
a memory
the time we spent together
glorious
with no regrets
I can take care of myself
as can you
and when we are worn out
together
I cna curl into your bed
and fall asleep
as you work
and don't have to disturb me
but then at least you are there
in the dark
when I need you to be
and I am here
when you are lonely

random

do I think of you?
or do you think of me?
often
how often
every day
every hour
occasionally
have you ever realized
that I wish you
to just become
near me enough
that you do indeed
think of me
and wish me
to be near
when you are done
with everything.