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Herpes
So yesterday night I was at a clinic and they said I more then likely have it. So I was with my ex bf and I'm pretty sure it's herpes, cause he has little bumps on his penis too now.
I don't know what to do, and I'm scared. I know I have a lot of friends and family to help me deal with this, but I feel so alone at the same time. I've told all my friends and I'm surprised that most of them even stuck around with me, and weren't all judgmental and "I told you so" ish about what happened. I'm certain I know who it was that gave it to me, and I'm so angry with him. How could he have not told me? When I confronted him about it, he said he was going to tell me. But that he thought it would be safe to have sex with me since he wasn't going through an outbreak. I really felt like killing him. I've never felt that way before. To the point where I just want to kill someone. I just...I'm scared. I'm worried, I don't care if I ever have sex again, I shouldn't anyways. I never do even want to have sex again, because I'm worried I'll pass it on. Even if I use a condom. What am I supposed to do? Never kiss my significant other? I love my ex and I want to be with him, and he has it now too. But I'm scared that as soon as these bumps go away he'll leave me. Right now he's been really good about being next to me and giving me comfort during these last few days. |
No offense, but he sounds like a real jack-off for not telling you in the first place. IF he really cared he would have.
But I hope he doesn't leave you and I wish you both the best and I'm keeping my fingers crossed you don't have herpes. Read up on it though to prevent yourself from getting it ever. |
I'm sorry that you were treated that way and I hope your ex sticks by you. There are medications that can make it safer to have sex and not pass herpes to your partner and as long as your doctor knows about it, you can even have children, they would just have to be cesarian in case you are having an outbreak when labor starts. It sucks that some idiot didn't bother to tell you he had it and protect you before having sex with you but, all is not lost and you will be fine.
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i am not sure what kind of herpes are you talking about but my bf had the same problem
the doctors said that he has these things because when he has orgasm, these things grow up but, fortunately the things gone away, using some good creams and pills... he is cured now... but the doctors told him to take care he didn't infect me with those things but i am happy everything is gone now so what kind of herpes do you have if you can explain to me? my bf had had those little bumps on his penis so i am pretty sure it's the same thing... anyway... he should tell you... what if he would had more than just that? i mean what if he would have been infected with HIV and so on? |
Yeah it really sucks that the guy I was with didn't tell me. He said he was going to tell me when he had an outbreak. But he thought he was okay to do it. And the worst part is, I asked him to wear a condom every time. And he did, but a couple of mornings he woke me up with sex and god, I know he didn't use a condom. Then when the bumps showed up I went to my ex and he's been taking care of me ever since. And like a couple days before the bumps showed up, I had had sex with my ex and he has it now...
I'm not sure what kind of herpes I have. But I have to take creams and pills for it, so your bf and I probably have the same thing. |
he was wrong not telling you.. -.- you know, it's actually considered just like beating up someone if you pass on a STD if you know you have it! ..:|
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Wow. He should have told. What an idiot! You should never have sex with someone if you have a disease and haven't told them.
And if you have a disease, you should know everything about it; like the fact that you CAN pass it on even if you have no symptoms. It sounds like he has it, doesn't care enough to learn anything about it, and doesn't care if he passes it on. I'm sorry. This has to be a horrible situation for you. But if you do have it, learn all you can about it. You can still be in relationships and have sex, you just have to take the proper precautions. It sounds like your ex is a good guy, I hope he sticks with you. |
the thing is that my bf wasn't infected with it or something...
it just showed up after we had sex... and none of us had this thing before... doctors told him that it's because we had orgasm in the same time... so this pills helped and in 3-4 days everything gone and never appeared again but doctors also told him to use this cream.. it's like a protection because his penis is kinda sensible.... did those things disappear a little? |
I don't think any of mine have left yet. They still hurt just as much as when, well they hurt a bit more then when I first got them. However I found someone on myspace that has herpes too and she's been helping me deal with it. As well as giving me really good advice. My ex has been taking care of me and making sure that I don't move too much. He hates seeing me in pain.
I just hate how he doesn't understand the pain I'm going through. I wake up pretty much every night cause I try and roll over and the pain is just...unbearable and I cry a lot. I try not to cause I have to get rid of the stress, but I don't know how to. |
i am so sorry for you...
if i could only help... but the only thing i can help you with is listening to you and trying to give advices... i understand it hurts you a lot... i have never felt like this so maybe i don't know the exact feeling... but being in your place... i guess is just unbelievably hard right now... i wish you good luck and i hope those herpes are going to disappear soon |
I got some STD but it is not bad. Actually in fact if a guy caught it, it does not effect them at all. I know who gave it to me and I am pretty pissed off he told me he was clean. Guys can pass it but they can't be effected by it. However woman can get cancer from it. Luckily it is nothing know. :/ I always make sure guys are clean and make sure I talk to them about it, even before I got the STD. Thank god it is something that is not bad and can't effect me any more. They found out it will not give me cancer and it is a pretty common STD. Sometimes guys don't even know they carry it. So I was not so mad when I found out but I know who gave it to me and I am glad I am not with him cause that was the biggest mistake of my life. He could have been carrying way worse from knowing his history with drugs. Of course I found all this out afterwards. -_- Guys!
Anyway just becareful and it is a life lesson. There has been improvement in medicine for Herpes and other STDs, so don't worry so much and just breath. ^^ You should be ok. |
He really should've told you.
If your ex has it now too, he wouldn't leave you because of your own herpes. You're both going through the same thing. But there is no use in getting angry about it now, because it will not change a thing. You and your ex have it now, and all you can do is treat it while taking the necessary precautions the next time you have sex. |
I know it can be upsetting to catch an STI, I caught Genital Warts when I was 19, but the last thing you need is to worry yourself about it too much.
I understand that you're scared, but it's really not the end of the world. Your local clinic will provide you with advice and medication to help you deal with it. The most important thing for you to remember is that this in no way makes you "dirty" and that you have done nothing wrong. Herpes is extremely common. You know Coldsores, that people sometimes get on their mouths? They can be picked up by simply kissing, or even on cups and cutlery in cafes and restaurants. Coldsores and Herpes are the same virus, Coldsores are simply the oral manifestation. See how common the virus you've picked up is? Heck, even my mother gets Coldsores, and she's only had sex with one man in her life. You have simply caught a virus, you do not have a disease. You have every right to be mad at your ex, it was awful of him not to tell you, although it was most likely because he was embarrassed. You just make sure you don't make the same mistake he did. As long as you are honest with your future sexual partners, and get all the help you need from your clinic, you have nothing to worry about and nothing to be ashamed of. |
The obvious solution is find a partner who ALSO has herpes. That way it won't matter. :3
There should be medication for herpes now, anyways. Even if it isn't cured fully, you can still go on with your life. Forget that joker who was "going to tell you eventually." He was never going to tell you. |
Herp
Plain out, he should've told you in the first place. He should feel guilty for giving it to you, hence to helping you out now.
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That must really suck to have herpes...But you don't know FOR SURE that you have it. So there is still a chance. 8D I would definetly be scared also, I had a few times where I thought I had caught something from someone but I'm in the clear because I haven't. And hopefully I will never. The guy who probably gave it to you was probably in the same situation as you. Some girl or guy probably gave it to him without them telling him that they had herpes and he just feels like other people should go through what he has. I've seen that a few times before. But he's a real jerk for not telling you. It's good that your boyfriend is sticking beside you through this. You are one lucky girl! At least herpes doesn't kill you or anything...I think. It's not the end of the world girly! Keep your head up! Maybe you will be more picky with who you hook up and make sure you know them first. And make sure you can trust them.
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http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/herpessimplex.html
I have oral herpes only, probably got it from someone not washing the dishes well enough when I stayed in Europe in a large hostel type thing. Anyways, it sucks and it willnever go away, but I have onyl had two outbreaks and there are medicines to prevent coldsores if you recognise the symptoms early enough. Now I know that may not apply to your situation much, but I have something similar, and it does make life much more complicated. I hope you and your partner/ex/future husband(?) can work this out, it sounds rough. |
Thank you everyone that replied to me.
It helped a lot, and I'm doing way better then I was doing when I first found out I had herpes. |
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