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Oh no, not another....
boyfriend issues thread.
x' P I've got this boyfriend (he's actually my first, yeah yeah aww) but I think he's taking things more seriously than I am/ and more than I'm comfortable with. He plans things out and such, like "oh we're going to be married", "I know we're going to be together forever" ect. Forever is seriously a long time, especially since, hello, I'm no where near old enough for marital thoughts. Truthfully in 10 years, I don't know exactly where I want to be! So why's he planning future activities. Plus I found out yesterday, pre-us he'd been having suicidal thought, what I forgot to ask was if he was serious or not. I'm not sure if it's an act, but in a mellow way I've said things like "Why are you jumping so far into the future? Can we just focus on the now?" I don't know.... I really want him to understand that, I don't like him moving so fast. We've known each other for not even a full year, we just got together in early March, and about two weeks into the relationship he's already saying "I love you." I'm I weird for that making me nervous? I really do value him as a friend though, so I'm not sure weather to break up with him, take a break, or whatever. I don't want to loose him as a friend, but he's really moving way too fast for me. any suggestions? Please. I can't talk to my bestie right now, and I kind of need some advice... |
Ok, well, I had a similar problem to this not too long ago.
The worst part was, I was in college, with an undecided major. About 3 weeks into the relationship he said "I love you." I had to end the relationship though because he wanted to move in together a few months after we had even known each other. The worst part was we both wanted two very different things out of life, and I could see he was not going to change his mind. He wanted to live in a small town with his family, I want to travel the world. Well, that and he cheated on me with his ex. Just trying to let you know that you are not alone. But anyway, your problem. ^_^ I see that you said have tried to tell him that he is moving to fast? But he has had suicidal tendencies in the past. I had an ex like that and I had to call the police because he tried to overdose. I would try to talk things through with him, take a day with just you and him, and try to sit down and explain to him, in every way, how you feel. Just make sure to tell him that your intentions are not to break up with him, you just need to get some things off of your chest. That is all I got for now, but if you need anything else, just post back. ^_^ |
I think that you should just be honest with him and tell him what you want and exactly how you are feeling otherwise he could feel hurt more so later on down the track because he will then think that he was lead on by you. I hope though that you work it out because it sounds like you are with a nice guy but that you are just wanting more fun then serious stuff though
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Well, my boyfriend thinks he's gonna marry me and stuff and be together forever too.
But... I decide to just let him think that and take things as they go. Denying these things will just cause unnecessary issues. If we decide to break up, then we break up, if he asks you what happened to the forever together thing, you can bring it up then. I guess for now you can just appreciate that he's into you enough to say such things. You don't have to take it seriously. But that's just my relationship. Everyone handles things differently, and he knows as well that we're too young to make such decisions. For us its just a conversation of maybes and we understand that. |
He's definitely thinking way too ahead.
I guess you'll have to sit him down and tell it to him straight. |
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