Actually, I'm already desensitized to such things- hell, we SMOKED babies back where I came from.
No, it's the..TOUCHING. I guess I just haven't been properly raped in too long, I've gotten comfortable being without it -_-

..besides, nothing prepares you for the gnome-rape.

Flink, remember two things:
1: Kitty make it all better.
2: He's covered in marmalade.
3: Rape makes counting difficult.
4: Happy thoughts! ...just ignore that if you look up and combine, you get Kitty Marmalade Rape.

We really didn't have a set schedule for it, and we often had to substitute for the marmalade. :/
Apparently there are just too many recreational uses for citrus fruit spreads..

Woah! I missed a lot. Marmalade gnome rape after getting dumped? Yikes.

@Flink- If he dumped you for someone who was already taken, then obviously he wasn't worth it anyways. *Pie magiaclly appears* Shall I throw this at him?

My Mom is obsessed with flamingos, I think she'd come after you with a garden hoe for that.

When did it become marmalade gnome rape!
AND THERE'S STILL SOMETHING ON RIDING ON MY BACK X_X

..eep.

-noms shoulder- c:

Sorry Nan, i didnt bring a Mart with me.

And you should put some pants on, you look cheap pantsless.

@Soph;
But where else can I buy my convenience store goods? D:

And I /am/ cheap, so it all works out. xD

Are you a permanent attachment now? Do I taste good, or what is it? By the gods, I am not a pony- at least, not with what you're (not) paying me; I happen to not be cheap.

Hm.. Maybe at your corner store? My Mart is many miles away and a twenty minute drive and it'd be hard to move that Mart to you.

@darkeyes;
-gives you a quarter- :'D
Now go faster! D:<

And yes, you taste of berries. O:

@soph;
Aww, well, darn. :c
Maybe we can stuff her in a computer and pass her around the internet.

Hmm, that's quite a bit cheaper than I usually go for..
But seeing as it's, y'know, on the internet and all..
..and how pleased I am to learn that I apparently taste of berries..
I SUPPOSE I can give you this one ride for a quarter (That's, what, 500 gold, right?).
BUT ONLY THIS ONCE. Not ever again, for anyone, got it?
:glances around suspiciously:
That goes especially for you, GNOME!
Oh, and you too, Cherry, Silver.
Flink, I'd offer you a sympathy ride, but if I'm going to go and give out sympathy gifts, I'm sure you would rather I share the homemade chocolate cake I made last night. ^_^

..besides, I don't want to be labled the "Hoffhorse" or "Hoffsteed" or something. "Hoffin' it like a Horse", even.
All very bad.
How about..
...
Okay, you know, "Hoffberries" is worse. X_o

Okay, okay! :goes faster:

What about the Hoffstang? Hoffpony? Hofficorn?

Also, did tenten just put a quarter in you mouth?

:heya:

I SUPPORT THIS NOTION FULLY AND A HALF!

In other news, *collapses the HoH into a singularity*.

I'm particularly drawn to "Hoffstang". :P

And no, she didn't. She slid it down my shirt.
I think she's hoping that eventually I'll jingle while I run.

Glee, did you just make it so that I'm running around as some random girl's mount in a void?
Okay, yeah, definitely not getting paid enough.

I don't know, I rather liked hofficorn myself. We should get you some bells....

Mad props to whoever gets that reference.

For your mockery there can only be one retaliation:

That reference sounds familiar....Monty Python? God it sounds familiar....


AHHHH!!!!!!! Mah undies! Nooooooo! Why? WHHHHYYYY? *sobs* *Turns on a garden hose* Take that, hellspawn!

No, it's "The Producers"! <3 I love that movie/play.

Oh...that makes sense. Mad props to you, then.