Mysterious knee injury and its effects... UPDATE page 2
 

Huh. I thought for sure I wouldn't be making another Life Issues thread for at least another several months, if ever...but yet again, an issue has popped up that I need advice on.

Everyone who knows me knows that I have trouble with my left knee. I hurt it nine years ago, twice (first while hiking; that stopped hurting within a week, so I went back to soccer practice when I thought it was okay and REALLY screwed it up). Everyone who knows me...knows I actually quite LIKE having this story. And everyone who knows me knows that I aggravated it AGAIN recently, in a hilariously ironic way.

It really would be no big deal...but here are the problems. The main problem is this:
It hurts like fuck, and occasionally it locks up or gives out...but NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT WHY.

I've been to a million doctors over the years for it. Some of my earliest doctors even suggested it was all in my head, or worse, I was FAKING it because they couldn't find the problem. But I KNOW that's not it. I'm not faking it; I don't believe in faking injuries. Besides which, I had nothing to gain from faking this. I had to leave the one thing I enjoyed the most because of it! Why on earth would I fake something like that? As for "all in my head"...it's really not something that only hurts when I think about it. Sure, it hurts WORSE when I think about it, to the extent that all injuries do...but no worse. It doesn't lock or buckle more or less frequently when I think about it -- hell, I've been known to FORGET about it when it's doing fairly well, UNTIL it locks up on me. I'm NOT imagining this. Hell, I've even tried "imagining" it healed for a year. DIDN'T work.

I thought I might finally have the real cause pinned down this time, I really did. I had an MRI of my knee done on Friday...and the results were taking FOREVER. It seemed like they had something big to review.

But I just got the call this morning. Everything looked totally normal.

That was really the second worst news they could have given me, ONLY better than finding the cause and discovering it couldn't be treated. I HATE being sent back to square one time and time again! I'm sick to death of it.

Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? Or at least, do you know of any similar stories? I REALLY need to know where to go from here.

And then there are a few minor issues stemming from this:

One - Work. Money issues. Ugh. >.<; I am slowly going broke. I quit my old job shortly before my concert trip - I couldn't get the time off, and I didn't care much for that job anyway. I don't know HOW they expected me to move out of town on a part-time job at MINIMUM WAGE, but they did. I made less than $8000 last year, BEFORE taxes and union dues. It was ridiculous. It was probably the worst damn job in my town.

But...AFTER the concert trip? I had a new job ready to start when I got back...but now that my knee has been aggravated again, I can't start. And hell, now I'm afraid to start ANY job that involves being on my feet until this damn thing is fixed. Workers' Compensation laws in California are so pro-company now that if anything happens because of it, I will probably be screwed over for the rest of my life. The thought terrifies me, honestly. I've already had one nasty issue with an on-the-job injury - now my left hand is screwed up for life. I don't want anything like that to happen again. And if my knee has gone back to where it was shortly after it was originally injured...what, do I have to wait ANOTHER nine years until I can go back to work on my feet SOMEWHAT safely? Or do I just have to move out of this state? >.>;

I guess I could try and get a job as a receptionist...but the problem with that is that I have my ears pierced in eight places total, and my lip is pierced. Not too many people would be particularly quick to hire me for a job like that. I knew it would be an issue when I had these done, and I don't regret a thing. Removing them is not an option; they have a lot of personal symbolism to me, and I'm not willing to lose that. But I NEED to figure out a job I can get that WON'T screw me over if my knee locks.

For right now, I'm just selling jewelry I make to get me SOMETHING of an income until I find a solution...but my supplies are SO GODDAMN EXPENSIVE, I really don't see any way I could move out on this.

And minor issue number two - My mother. Is being. A complete. BITCH. About the entire fucking situation.

It's pretty well known by now that I pretty much hate her, and not just in the teenage hormone way. She's like a 55-year old emo kid, with the overall maturity of the average toddler. I have never known anyone else her age who throws a little hissy fit EVERY TIME someone says something she doesn't like. She's just...awful. >.<;

She TRIES to do the right thing sometimes...I think. Right now she's convinced that what I need is to get out and start moving, despite the fact that the last time I tried to walk around my town (as she forced me to), I was crying for physical pain by the end - which just plain DOES NOT happen except for EXTREME situations. She's ignoring the fact that my doctor told me to stay off it. She's right, he's wrong - after all, medical school doesn't teach you ANYTHING. :roll:

And she keeps insisting that I go out and do things SHE enjoys...but I HATE. Because, you know, that's just going to make this whole thing OH, so much more fun. :sarcasm:

Fact is, I'd LOVE to get out and actually DO SOMETHING. But the only things I enjoy doing here, I'm NOT SUPPOSED TO DO on this thing. And she doesn't care. She just wants to drag me along to do the crap that she likes, but is FUCKING TORTURE to me - ESPECIALLY when I'm alone with HER.

I cannot stand it. She doesn't have any interest at ALL in helping me, UNLESS it means doing something she likes doing and CALLING it helpful WHEN IT'S NOT.

And even though I've called her on this MANY times, SHE NEVER LISTENS. She backs off for a day or so, and then the next day, SHE'S AT IT AGAIN.

Ordinarily this would just be an annoyance. But really...I HATE being trapped inside all the time. It's bad enough that I sunburn so easily I can't go out in the day without a parasol and heavy-duty sunblock. She's constantly rubbing it in my face that I CAN'T do anything I really LIKE doing, at least not among the outside things. I'm trying to find something more to do, but she does NOT make it easy.

Honestly? It's almost depressing. I would actually find it VERY depressing if it weren't for the ironic side of the story. But as it stands...it's just pissing me off.

Does anyone know how to deal with people like this? I've tried letters, I've tried calm explanation, I've even tried shooting some MAJOR ultimatums - none of them worked.

Does anyone know what I could do about ANY of this?

Hmmm... the leg injury is a mystery. My brother went thorguh a very similar thing... he got a nasty injury while playing hockey, but he never went to the doctor for it. When his wrist pain didn't get any better, he finally went to the doctor, but he kept telling him "Oh, you just sprained it: stay off it.".

3 months later, and it was not better. He went to a hand specialist, and we found out that his ligament had torn and his hand and wristbone were disconnected. He unfortunetly avoided the doctor so long that they couldn't heal him completely, but he's got about 80% of his strength.

I don't know if they can catch a ligament injury on an X-ray or whatever test they did for you, but your pain soudns identical for what my brother had. If it IS the same injury, then there's a good possibility that you will not get full use of your knee back, nor will you be able to completely rid yourself of pain. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

As for your mother... I'm afraid there may not be a simple, fix it solution. Some people are jsut the way they are, and you can't mix with them or change them. When you're that old, you can't change easily. You may have to cut yourself off from her.

They were actually looking for torn ligaments or anything of the like this time. I had an MRI done just last week...and everything looked completely normal. I honestly don't know what it could be anymore...I'm HOPEFULLY going back to my doctor soon to figure out what I can do next, but really this is just getting ridiculous.

Ugh...if this is never really fixed...I guess I can just never go to work in this state, unless my job is just to sit around and answer phone calls all day. >.<; I don't mind the pain so much; it's usually manageable AND I have a hilarious story to attach to it. But it's the locking and the giving out that scares me. I already missed the last concert I was going to go to because of that...and that's saying something; this was the kind of thing...it should have been IMPOSSIBLE to keep me away.

All I have to say is...THANK GOD it was someone who'd understand what happened. :sweat:

And I am trying to cut myself off from my mother. Unfortunately...it's not easy when I'm stuck living with her. I'm trying desperately to move out...but there's that job issue. No matter how hard I try to shut her out, or how hard I try to cut myself off from her...she ALWAYS finds some way to drive me completely INSANE. I'm trying, though...because the whole situation with her has just gotten out of hand. >.<;

Hmmm... well, the only other thing I can think of is nerve damage. Or maybe it's like when I broke my leg: the shock made it so it wasn't pairful at the site of the injury, but at my knee. Perhaps your nerves are damaged so the pain feels as if it's at your knee, but the injury is actually at another location (but this is probably farfetched...). But...as of right now, I don't know if there are treatments or ways to fix that.

Well, it's good you're trying. Do you have any friends that you could get an apartment with that understand your situation? Also, do you live in a particularly small town? I hear you talking about jobs a lot... isn't there a bookstore or something you could work at? Relatively low pace, not too demanding, and I assume decent pay if it's a Borders or Barnes and Noble.

yeah i get major headaches and i get massive stomach pain and i pass out and my body gives out completely every now and then and i go to the doctors and they say the same thing shes making it up she is faking it its all in her head well screw you to doctor
the only reason they say that is because i missed 13 days of school total in this whole year and thats cuz my body gave out >.<

edit i wish they would just listen to me

That's possible, but for a different location, I kinda doubt it - it was very definitely my knee that was hurt. But it's possible - especially if the nerves are somehow damaged in the knee. I'll have to bring that up with my doctor; see if he'd be able to detect that with the MRI. o_o I never really thought of that.

And if that's it, and there is no treatment for it as of now...wow, even MORE humorous irony! I'm a biomedical engineering student. I just might end up developing my OWN treatments. XD;

Unfortunately, I actually don't have any friends in my town, let alone friends with apartments that I would be able to live with and not hate them before the end of the first month. XD;; My parents wanted me to move into the other half of our house...but I'd still be in contact with my mother AND I'd pretty much be giving any money I ever make to my aunt - who is almost as intolerable. She owns that half of the house. >.<;

And...the only chain anythings here are Vons and Coldstone Creamery. I worked at Vons for over a year and...well, I ranted about that. Minimum wage. >.<; Plus I was running around all the time. I doubt Coldstone would be any different...plus, I hate ice cream. I hate the smell of it. I hate being surrounded by sugary stuff because I want to eat it; I feel like I'm SUPPOSED to like it...but I don't. I cannot imagine working someplace like that. XD;;

Everything else here is locally owned and managed...and 90% of them are run by people who either don't care for the laws, or are just plain assholes (this includes the one local bookstore). >.<; Of the remaining 10%, 9% would require running around like crazy, and most of the remaining 1% would not like my piercings. :sweat:

Of course, I just made up those figures on the spot, but it's something like that. I am TRYING...but the odds are against me at the moment.

Right now, it's looking most likely that I'll end up as a receptionist. Problem with that...I have a nasty phobia of talking on the phone. I can answer the phone at home, but answering the phone anywhere else makes me nervous...and making phone calls, even to people I KNOW, freaks me out. D:
I can live with it, really, but...I think I'd better work on getting over it, and fast. XD;

I have a problem with my knee as well. I injured it when I lived in Michigan when I was attempting to help push the car out of a snow bank. I slid on a patch of ice and my knee cracked and I had to be helped back into the house. I was going to go to the doctor but we did not have any insurance and it would have cost us money we did not have so I didn't go see one at the time. But anyways ... I was always pushed to walk on it and everyone was telling me that it was a simple sprain and I just needed to walk on it. I forced myself to walk on it ... it was soo painful ... I have never felt pain like that before. about three or four weeks go by ... i actually start to walk normally but with pain of course ... that continued for about three years ...

We then moved to Las Vegas. I get a job at a call center and I got health insurance so i decide to finally get my knee really checked out because I know it was not any sprain. They refer me to a specialist and I had xrays done and everything and they find out that my knee had been dislocated this whole time ... the real reason why I had to quit sports and things that I used to love doing as well. I have had two knee surgeries, and I am in need of a third one ...

Now I get a new job as a courtesy clerk where I am on my feet all the time and with personal things going on at home my knee is always pushed to the limit and now it is usually hurting most of the time, not to mention that it locks up om me still sometimes.

.................

Well I hope you do get your knee fixed, I know its hard to go through like that .. maybe go see another doctor at another clinic and see what they say? It doesn't hurt to have a second opinion. I don't honestly get how they can say its all in your head if it is really hurting you. And as far as your other situation, I really don't know what to suggest ... good luck with everything and hope you get it worked out.

Knee injury, as in you are not able to stand straight sometimes? This had happened to me a couple of times actually. It would randomly hurt a bit and I have to limp. My mom says it due to the lack of exercise. After stretching it and moving around a bit, I got better.

Sorry if this is not the kind of answer you are looking for. ><

@a_shy_girl_1999: Ouch. >.<; I'm sorry that happened...and I hope that gets fully fixed soon. It does make me feel better knowing I'm not alone...but I feel bad about feeling better for that. D: Damn. :sweat:

Unfortunately, I've been to about a million different doctors already. Of course...only one (my current one) was actually competent so far, but that's not really the point. :sweat: Only one doctor so far has actually reviewed my MRI results, and maybe I can get those looked over by someone more, or maybe I'll have to have some other kind of test done...but so far, I do know there's nothing in the bones (I've seen the X-rays recently and I've studied what it's supposed to look like, so it wasn't just the doctor saying it looked normal), and apparently the MRI isn't showing any soft tissue damage.
I was too shocked when I got the call to ask what I should do next. I'm going to call on Monday and try and get something more figured out, though.

@Sadistix_Love: Well, I know that it's definitely NOT lack of movement that's the problem. The job I was at for a year and a half had me running all over the place all the time, and it always bothered me after work - by the time I quit, more so than it had since shortly after the accident. And it only got worse at the concerts...ESPECIALLY the last one where I fell.
That's what my parents thought for a while too (I got pretty lazy after the initial accident, mostly out of apathy/depression...oh, do I wish I'd been into JRock back then...*ahem*)...but not anymore, and...it's not getting better. D:

No you shouldn't feel bad, you are not alone. Believe me I know what its like having a knee injury ... I remember after I did start walk on it .. some people didn't believe me that it was still hurting me, until after I got it officially checked (almost three years later) out and found the problem. I know its hard having to give up sports that you liked playing. I was planning to go into an adult softball league, but then that came out of the picture after the injury. I honestly don't know if it ever will get to the way it used to be ... it's like my kneecap doesn't want to stay in place because it was left like this for so long ... seriously ... after my last knee surgery my kneecap shifted back a little bit to a dislocated position. Thats why I need a third ... this next one .. whenever I get the money saved up ... will force it to stay in position (via screw) ... (so the doctor says, lol). I want to be able to run again ... *sighs* ...

@+lieforrenn: Acupuncture is probably the next thing I'm trying - a friend of my mom's did that for a while before she had her knee replaced, and it made her arthritis bearable until then...so whether this works as a permanent solution for me or not, I do think it will be able to help me in some way. Glad to hear another success story with it - makes me even more hopeful. Thank you!

@ both of you: Thank you. It does make me feel a lot better. Really...knowing that I'm not alone in one sense is what's been keeping me sane through this - one of the people I admire the most was forced out of sports by an accident quite similar to the second of my initial two, though I don't know the full details on that (I really hope he's not still living with it...it happened two years BEFORE mine :(). I always feel bad for letting things like this make me feel better; I can't help it, it feels like I'm taking pleasure in someone else's pain. >.<; But...at the same time, every story really does make me realize that I'm NOT doomed to be a failure because of this.

Thank you both for the advice and support...same goes for everyone who has replied. And to Shy - if I could help you with the money, I would. D: But hey...maybe one day, when all is fixed, we'll end up...running a marathon together or something. X3

I may have given up on wanting to be a professional soccer player (I much prefer being a guitarist; if I were ever to become famous, I'd want it to be for that...though my second [and almost likely] choice would be for making some kind of amazing development in medicine...*rambleramble*), but I still want to be able to go and play for fun. And damn it, I will. :yes:

I've been trying to be pretty positive all along, really (and I consider myself very lucky this latest aggravation happened the way it did; it means I can laugh at the situation a bit)...but everything like this makes it a LOT easier. Thank you. :hug:

I am happy that its making you feel better here. Theres no need to feel down about it because you have people you can talk to as well that share the same problems. Acupuncture sounds like a good idea, I have heard about it and how its supposed to help with pain. Anything is worth a try.

Once you get it fixed and then before you know it you will be playing sports again! I glad I could help as well. :cool:

Update:

Well, my doctor just prescribed me physical therapy for this. But there is a problem:

There's a very good chance I can't afford it.

My mom went through physical therapy, and it cost her $1,800 per session.

But what's bugging me is that she dropped it after three sessions because it wasn't helping. She's INSISTENT it won't help me at all.

It was for HEEL SPURS. Which is COMPLETELY unrelated to ANYTHING that hasn't been ruled out with my knee.

Therefore, because she's got my dad convinced we're both ABSOLUTELY THE SAME IN EVERY LITTLE WAY...>.<; He's refusing to help me pay for it.

If it costs the same for me, I have enough money in savings for ONE session.

And after that I'll be completely broke.

I still can't get a solid job until this is fixed...I actually DID find something that I'm REALLY enjoying, but because of this problem, they're NOT scheduling me for near as much time as I need.

I'm going to go along with my mom's insistence that I try going to a chiropractor (which sorta-kinda-not really helped her heel spurs, and has failed me a million times with this, I might add), but if that doesn't work (and I'm pretty damn sure it won't), I don't know what to do.

I hate our money-driven society. >.<;

I'm sorry that she's got your dad convinced that it's exactly the same as her injury. TT.TT
If I was in your situation, I would ask them how much the therapy would cost, ask them if some can be covered by your health care plan or something... I'm not sure how that works. Ask them what percent chance there is of it not working and if its a high percent chance have your parents hear this info from the doctor. You finally found something to fix your pain, and if it works, it would fix your troubles of finding a job. Explain that to your parents and maybe they'll help pay?

Oh, what a mistake that you mother has made! She doesn't quite understand the concept that physical therapy is supposed to do. IT'S NOT GOING TO HEAL YOU IMMEDIATELY. @[email protected] I wish people would understand that! It takes at least a few sessions or more for the effects of Physical Therapy to start actually doing it's "magic" on an injury. Physical Therapy is actually more of a recovery/recuperation type of thing, and it takes time for it to actually show anything. My Grandfather goes to therapy a couple to three times a week, and it's been a month or more, I think, and he's starting to show signs of it helping his health problems. The only problem is that IT is quite expensive.... My Grandfather's are covered by his insurance because it's very detrimental for his health, as he's turning 80 very, very soon. (In the next two weeks.) He's been having a lot of leg and stability problems, but also he pulled a hamstring, so it caused one of his legs to completely bruise.... >.< You have to remind your parents that THEY ARE NOT THE DOCTORS.... They have not been to Medical/Nursing school and cannot properly diagnose the condition of your problem.

....
Well, you can try going to the chiropractor, but I don't know if that will help, because it's definitely not the same as physical therapy. The only problem is that if you were to somehow get insurance that could cover your problem... it would be classified as a previous condition, which means you couldn't have that problem covered by insurance, because it was there before they started insuring you. X_x