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-   -   Rape: is it ever the victim's fault? (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=99793)

Lilith W 01-08-2009 10:12 PM

Everyone needs to use common sense. Don't go out alone, don't get so drunk you don't know what is going on with people you don't know and trust, don't drink from anything that is not sealed. Common sense could help so much.
But it is not the victim's fault, it is the ass's who decided to rape. The victim was not thinking "Well I think I'm going to get raped today, let me see what I can do to help that along."

Mistress Karumi 01-09-2009 02:17 AM

@ Juno - Apology not necessary dear.^^

The Mistress doesn't really no what to say on this topic. Her words contradict her thoughts...

triforcer100 01-09-2009 02:25 AM

Moon i would like to point out that the only reason that it is only 9% of males get rapped is becasue a few amount of men report it becaseu of sisital belifes

MoonGrave 01-09-2009 02:47 AM

@triforcer100: Huh? Did you mean that it's estimated that only one in thirty-three men are raped throughout their lives? I'm going to assume that you did, and my apologies if you didn't, but I agree with you.

Men are usually raped as very young children when they are raped, even as babies, so some of them don't ever remember it or are able to convince themselves as children that it was just a game or their imagination. And what you say about fewer men reporting it is also very true, men are afraid that it will compromise their masculinity to admit it, but it won't. They're not any less of a man for being taken advantage of and there is nothing for them to be ashamed of. They have every right to feel angry with their rapists and every right to get justice for the crime committed against them.

I may have seemed like I was brushing off the raped men's side of things, but I really wasn't trying to. My apologies.

Ehnvy 01-09-2009 01:57 PM

Moon, he is saying that the statistic of 1 out of 33 men who are raped is not actually true due to the simple fact that only very few men would admit they've been raped. The dark numbers of raped men are much much higher. Women are more likely to go to the police.

MoonGrave 01-09-2009 09:33 PM

I know, Ehnvy, but I felt that was a safe statistic to use as four different sources used it and cited anywhere from five to fifteen sources of their own. I'm with you, if that's any kind of estimate at all that's one that's so conservative that it falls into the deep end of inaccuracy.

Jenova4 01-10-2009 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juno rally (Post 4557248)
@jenova im sorry to hear that any im glad that they were cought and locked up. i hope your friend is ok :/

She's fine now, and she ended up keeping her child. He's absolutely precious. The guy raped her because he wanted a kid, and he was also mentally unstable.

MiSS ♥ ViXEN 01-12-2009 10:53 PM

The way the question is worded, not at all, especially according to the scenario(s).
You could only have wished said person knew better to not be walking late like that, or such. If the wrong moves are made though, results are inevitable, and i feel sorry the victim had to come across an irresponsible person.

insanester 01-13-2009 02:13 AM

Never the victims fault. Hint, they are the victim.

acenaspheru 01-16-2009 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guivre (Post 4555631)
Well, until the victim puts a gun to an attacker's head to force him to rape someone, no.



Seriously, why is anyone intimidated by this post? The mispelling and lack of punctuation alone ...

because i'm the ONLY ONE in this thread that had misspellings right? if you don't agree with me fine but don't be a jerk and pull out the effing grammer nazi shit.

Saisei 01-17-2009 03:07 AM

Guivre was quoting a post responding to yours, not your post.

...and for what seems like the twelfth time in this topic:

Everyone calm down or I'm locking this

triforcer100 01-17-2009 05:34 AM

i think it should be locked it is gettign out of control

Fabby 01-17-2009 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juno rally (Post 4561301)
ok true commen sence should be used at times

Common sense should be used all the time, not just some of the time. xD

Quote:

Originally Posted by juno rally (Post 4561301)
the fact that they may be wearing appealing clothing that is revealing may stear some feelings of lust in the attacker the fact remains that they should be able to wear such clothing with out having to worrie about getting raped.

Ideally, women should be able to go around wearing whatever they want. I don't disagree with that. But this is far from a perfect world, and certain sleazy men DO use 'she was dressed like a whore so she was asking for it' as an excuse. Women should act accordingly to protect themselves. You should be able to wear what you like, but it's naive not to realize that dressing like a tramp at a club may get you raped. It's very wrong, but it happens.

Pixie88 01-18-2009 03:48 PM

No, no one ever DESERVES to get raped. NO IS NO! Yes, some people should make better decisions and maybe not dress like a slut, but that does not give someone else the right to take from them what they want, especially if the other person does not want it.

Princess~Pineapple 01-25-2009 09:21 AM

If it's called rape, it's never the victims fault. If the attacker purses the victim unwillingly (yes, even if she is dressed provocatively, or has seen/made out with him before), if the act itself is against her will, it's rape and would never be her fault.
When minors are involved, it's never their fault for above reasons, but also the fact they are but children and are not capable of making informed decisions on their own, especially with a persistent person nearby. It's taking advantage of a bad situation. ><

Elmira Swift 02-01-2009 10:14 PM

I cannot fathom when rape is ever the fault of the victim - male or female. Uttering the word "no" should be a sufficient signal to stop.

Mellie_AngelRose 02-02-2009 06:05 AM

It's never ever ever the victims fault.

pinkii 02-03-2009 10:46 AM

It's never the victim's fault - when they fight & say 'No!' it means that they don't want to have sex.

People who believe that rape could sometimes be the victim's fault need to realize that their insight is hurting the people who've been through this. So many rape victims believe it's their fault because of people telling them that it is because they wore 'this type of clothing' or 'snuck out late at night'. It isn't. And trust me, I have friends who are going through issues revolving around the times they were raped and it's a very unfortunate thing to witness. People who believe the rapist isn't at fault but the victim is need to have a reality check. (sorry for the rant but that really upsets me to know some people will agree that a victim was at fault of their own rape).

NightxProjectile 02-13-2009 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Explosive Rainbows (Post 3591550)
Rape is never the victims fault. Even if they did stupid things, and even if they do slutty things, unless they they get a tatoo that says "Rape Me" or something like that, then it is never their fualt.

Anyone who wishes to place the fault on the girl or guy who got raped is really messed up. (No, Steve, I don't mean you, I get your meaning but you're right about you phrasing it wrong.)

I also saw a board on Gaia about this topic (possibly the same one,) and like 60% said it was kinda their fault. It was awful and one of the reasons I left.

Yeah. There are many crazy people there. There's probably a lot of pedophiles there, since the site is kind of popular. I hope Menewsha doesn't end up like that...

~Midnight Dreams~ 02-15-2009 05:08 PM

no one ever askes or wants to be rape...regardless if its a 5 year old or a 15 year old with a mini-skirt! no one wants it...its forced sexual intercourse that's not wanted...so its

RAPE

no one askes for it, and i dont think that no one deserves it!!! (no matter what kind of person they are)

Sagando Mirasta 02-18-2009 05:46 AM

Rape is rape is rape is rape is rape. A woman (or man) could decidedly sell her body as her main source of income, and if she says "no," the answer is no. The one and only exception to that rule is in SMBD, where "no" is just a word, and a safe word is put into place. And, even in that case, if a safe word is not established beforehand, then there was no consent to the act from the victim. Rape is never okay, and rape is never the fault of the victim. If you can't control yourself, then stay at home. Period.

Hell, two people could be fooling around, clothes off, leading up to sex, but if a "no" or "stop" is uttered, any action beyond that is unwelcome, and thus rape. It doesn't matter how she was dressed, or that he was flirting heavily. There is no excuse for it. And it is never, ever the fault of the victim.

Cheya 02-19-2009 12:30 AM

Yes, rape is the victim's fault. They should have been able to predict surprise sex and if they couldn't, they should been able to fight them. Also, possible rape victims should never drink alcohol or drink drinks they left unattended.

I don't believe in all that crap I just wrote.

I believe that drinking should be moderated and that if you leave a drink unattended for any amount of time, it should be discarded. You're better safe than sorry in my opinion.

And though rape is an act of power rather than sexual attraction and is overwhelmingly people-you-know, we still have people pushing the "slutty" clothes argument of how rape can be prevented.

Rabid Rainbow 02-19-2009 02:07 AM

I never think that rape is the victim's fault, but I do believe that there are cases where the victim could have done more to prevent the rape.

A fifteen-year-old girl who sneaks out to a party, stays out past midnight and then accepts a ride home from a guy three years older than her that she just met and really doesn't know is not very smart. It is not her fault that she was raped, but she should have had the common sense enough to at least not accept a ride from someone she doesn't know who is in full position to take advantage of her.

And to be fair, it's not like you can predict that being sober and making out with someone will lead to you being raped. But some things, like not dressing in revealing clothes when you know you will be out on the streets past midnight, or not walking down dark alleyways, or not walking home alone when it's late a night, can lower the chance of you actually getting raped.

HenryFBP 02-19-2009 01:19 PM

I think that if the victim is wearing something REALLY slutty, it's 10% their fault, because you have a higher chance of getting raped with a slutty outfit.

Bartuc 02-19-2009 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HenryFBP (Post 1764047119)
I think that if the victim is wearing something REALLY slutty, it's 10% their fault, because you have a higher chance of getting raped with a slutty outfit.

Do you ever read previous posts? That has been brought to light on several occasions and has gotten the same response every time.
No. The key point beyond the 'rape' is the 'forced entry.' This is like breaking and entering. Just because the owner of the nice 5 million dollar home has a nice yard, nice cars in the front. Real nice house. Are they 10% at fault for a Breaking and Entering crime just because they did like the victim did and 'dressed slutty?' No! They are not at fault because they are not the one committing the crime!


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