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"There is nothing," Loki responded. "Nothing can fix this."
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Lessa nodded. She understood that feeling very well.
"If it's all the same to you, then, I think I will just stay here for a bit." |
"If you must." Because at the moment, Loki didn't care either way.
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Lessa nodded and stayed there for a few hours, just sitting quietly with him. She knew there was nothing she could do to make things better, but sometimes just having company made things a little easier.
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Loki stayed quiet for a long time, not moving.
"We fought," he finally said softly. "I was-- angry. At her. At them. All of them." |
"They're family. That's what families do." Lessa was quiet for a few moments. "But I suppose that just makes things harder. That you were angry at her."
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"Odin sentenced me to rot in a prison cell," Loki spat. "He claimed it was only by Mother's grace that I was spared the axe. She did nothing to stop him from casting me into the dungeon."
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"Maybe she tried," Lessa offered. "It sounds like Odin isn't exactly reasonable."
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"There are many words to describe Odin," Loki said. "Reasonable is not one of them." He went quiet again for a moment. "Had he not been such a stubborn fool, Mother might still be alive."
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"Maybe. It's hard to say. There's no way to know, after all." Lessa was quiet for a moment. "Just don't let that be your only thought of him, or of her."
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"And why not?" Loki demanded. "His own arrogance blinded him! Had he been able to see past his own nose, to think for once, Mother would still live!" He turned his gaze to the floor. "And... There were things said... I wanted them to feel the same pain I did, the pain Odin inflicted. Denied the family with whom I had been raised... I denied Mother in return. And then she fell." His voice broke a bit. "My last words to her were to inflict pain."
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"That's part of the reason," Lessa said. "Because you never know when it will be the last time you'll speak to them again. Besides, from what I know of your mother, she wouldn't have wanted you to be angry and bitter with them, at least not enough to go down the road you're starting down. You're starting to sound like you wish them dead, and that is never a good mentality. You start going down dark paths, darker than right now. It turns into a cycle, and then you never find peace."
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"Haven't you heard? There is no peace for Loki." Pulling his knees up, Loki rested his forehead on them, focusing on not drowning in his grief and anger. "As ever, the blame will be mine. Perhaps this time, it is justified."
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Lessa frowned and settled in a bit closer to him. After a few moments, she even dared to reach out to him with her power, offering him comfort. Not shoving it on him, but offering it to him.
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Loki felt it and was terribly tempted to reach for it, but he shuddered a bit and shook his head.
"Don't," he murmured. "If there is one thing I do not deserve, it is that." |
"Okay, that's a big jump from anger to undeserving," Lessa said quietly. "Just for today, Loki. Whether you deserve it or not, you're hurting and you lost your mother. Anyone needs comfort after that. Just for today."
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"Asgard has lost its queen, the Allfather his wife, and the crown prince his mother, and yet it is to the traitor you offer comfort," Loki said quietly. "I am the least deserving of them all."
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"None of them are sitting here alone," Lessa pointed out gently. "None of them have no one else to turn to."
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"The point of being a prisoner is isolation," Loki pointed out. "Its very nature suggests being alone and cut off from comfort."
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"Yeah well I don't agree with that, and as no one has stopped me yet, I am going to continue disagreeing." Lessa shrugged. "Just for today, Loki, let me help you in what little way I can."
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Loki just sighed. He couldn't muster the energy to argue with her.
"If you must," he said, putting his head down again. |
Lessa relaxed there next to him, still giving him comfort. Gently, she bundled up his rage and sorrow, trying to give him at least one night's decent rest.
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Loki could feel what she was doing and made no move to stop her. Truthfully, he did want a reprieve from his grief and pain, even as he felt guilty for it.
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Lessa just sat with him for a while, content to sit there. It was nice, to be able to help someone for once. Normally she didn't get to help people like this.
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Loki just let the silence stretch, just trying not to feel anything. It was easy, now that the pain had been tucked away for the moment. But he still had no desire to move.
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