"But...." Vincent lets out a little whine. "You were alone...I didn't want u to be alone while...." He's doing this weird air gulp through his mouth. It's an attempt to keep from bawling again. He wouldn't want to be alone as he was dying if there was someone around that could be there. And even if there wasn't...he still wouldn't want to be alone. He'd want someone there with him. Sure, it wouldn't have been pleasant to see him like that, but....it would've been better than not seeing him at all. "Or maybe we would've been together forever." He goes back to purring weakly as Jun plays with his hair. It's soothing for him, even though it doesn't fix anything.

(Man...I almost started crying typing this D: )

"I wouldn't want your last memory of me to be like that." Jun said softly. He didn't want him to see it. He didn't want him to have that sight in his eyes, it must have been a selfish thought. He didn't care, that it was. He only knew that he didn't want that to be the case. "You know...My last thoughts as I...they were that it didn't matter that I was dying." Jun said as he looked off and idly played in Vincent's hair. "I had someone I cared for that would always be with me...I couldn't forgot about you even after death...You're too much a part of who I am, that you will always be with me no matter where you are. " Jun knew that his feeling were more than that, but he couldn't put it all into words. "I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, so let's start over." Jun said as he looked down at Vincent. He just wanted to be with Vincent now that he had a second chance at it. He knew that he still had a lot to remember about his past life, but he knew that one thing was for sure and that was that he didn't want to lose Vincent. He knew that for sure.

[Awe :3]

"But..." Vincent does that deep gulp thing again. "You shouldn't have had to be alone during that. And I was THERE in the HOSPITAL! And I still couldn't get to you!" He whines softly before burying his face in Jun. It's a way to try and stop himself from breaking down again like that. He hates that he' crying this much, but he can't stop himself. It's even starting to give him a headache now, but he still can't stop. "It does matter that you were dying....I was alone after that..." Not that he blames Asher/Jun. He blames himself. He didn't go with him and so they were separated. And maybe if he was driving the accident might have never happened, but he didn't go and it did. Now he's back to the air gulps to keep from bawling his eyes out. He just kind of wraps himself around Jun as best as he can/clinging to him. "I don't want you to ever leave."

Jun stopped what he was doing at Vincent's comments and just stares up at the ceiling. "I know I left you alone and I wish there was a way to change that, but." He didn't want Vincent to think he had to be with him at the accident. If something would have happened to him he didn't know what he would have done. If he would have regained his memories he would have spent his whole life looking for him. There was even the chance that he might not have regained his memories then...what if he forgot about him. "I'm sorry that I made you go through so much pain..." It was the only thing he could think of saying. He didn't know how to work this out between them. They bother had different feelings on it. "I'm not going anywhere." Jun said as he pulled Vincent closer to him. He didn't want to go anywhere else.

Vincent whimper/whines softly as he stops. Now he feels like he did something wrong...he was only telling the truth as he sees it. "It's not like it's your fault....you couldn't help what happened......it isn't like you were planning on crashing or dieing or anything like that...you were just going to visit them...." He whines a bit before nuzzling/burying his face in Jun's chest. "It wasn't your fault....you didn't want to die..." And Vincent didn't want him to die. He'd rather himself die instead, but that didn't work. He tried to make...whatever is up there, trade him for Asher. But it wouldn't do it. "Good. I don;t want you to....ever again."

Jun sighed he gave up with this fight. It was pointless he didn't know enough of what happened before he just knew the feeling that he went through that moment in time. He didn't exactly want to have another one of his dreams, but it looked like he was in store for one almost every time he slept until he recovered everything. Jun began to try to wiggle away from Vincent. He knew he wouldn't like it too much, but Jun wanted to think on his own. He just felt like he didn't know anything and he was just causing Vincent more pain, which he didn't want to do. "I'm sorry...but can I use your shower?" Jun asked as he finally got free. He looked down at the ground and then over to Vincent. He really was sorry for all the trouble he was causing now.

Vincent whines a bit softly as Jun wiggles away. He halfway reaches out for him, to keep him there, but stops himself. He just looks at Jun with his ears drooping and he's kind of pouting though, but he doesn't realize it. "Mm. Okay." He gets up and walks to the bathroom before opening the little closet in there to get Jun a towel and washcloth. "Here you go." He says softly and hands them to him before shuffling out of the room to flop on the couch....and sulk essentially while Jun's in the shower. Maybe it would've been better if Jun never had remembered even though the thought hurts him. Maybe, if Jun wants it....Vincent could find a way to reverse this memory thing.

Jun watches Vincent as he shows him the way and gives him the things he needs. He feels bad for doing this to him. Jun didn't know who he used to be and things were confusing. He just didn't know how to handle it all yet. He felt like he was a bother to Vincent in his current state. "Thank you." Jun whispered as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He turned on the shower and didn't bother checking to see if it was too hot. He stepped in and just sat down as soon as he was in. The water was hot enough to burn at first and his skin turned red, but he stayed there. He wanted to think, but he didn't know what to think about. He didn't know anything and that was what upset him the most. Vincent knew what happened, but Jun didn't know everything. "I don't know anything." Jun said as he huddled up into a ball. "All I'm doing is causing trouble here." He knew that part of that was selfish, but he knew it was what he felt. Jun wanted to know things, but Vincent...He didn't want to make Vincent anymore upset than he already had. He only knew of one other option for him. He could go back to Asher's parents from what Vincent told him they would accept him in with open arms. They would know almost everything and maybe they would tell him in order to get their real son back. Jun shook his head he had just promised not to leave Vincent. "I'll just have to try to remember." Jun stayed in the shower for a while, but he didn't want to get out. He just sat there letting the water turn his skin red.

Vincent can't really blame Jun from wanting to be away from him for now. He failed Asher....and he'll probably fail Jun too. He just curls up around a pillow on the couch. And he's not willing to talk about what happened back then....so no wonder Jun is angry at/disappoint in him....whichever, but it still hurts too much to think about it really. If he does, he'll go through all the what if's he can. Like what if he'd tried to get Asher's parents to like him a little bit at least...maybe that would've never happened. Maybe his parents would've came down there to see him that one time, but that isn't what happened. Even though it's selfish as hell, he still doesn't want Jun to leave....though it might be better if he did. And went to see his? Asher's? parents.....because maybe they were right about Vincent himself. Maybe he was bad for Asher...considering what happened in the end. He's pretty much depressing himself at this point, but his brain won't shut up at this point. He ends up falling halfway asleep with tears leaking out once in awhile as he thinks. The things is, he's focusing on the worst things...and not the good and happy times.

Jun finally got himself out of the shower and dried himself off and put his clothes back on. He walked out of the bathroom and went out to find Vincent. He found him on the couch asleep and when he saw his tears Jun's ear flattened back. He didn't sit on the couch, but on the ground. He curled up there and hugged his knees to his chest. He knew he was just causing Vincent trouble by being there. "I'm sorry..." Jun whispered as he laid his head against his knees. He didn't want to make anyone sad let alone Vincent. Jun closed his eye not really caring that if he fell asleep he would remember things again. Maybe he would remember something that would cheer Vincent up. He almost wanted to just sleep until he remembered it all so he wouldn't be a problem anymore. Jun fell asleep sitting against the couch with his knees pulled to his chest.

Vincent makes a little noise which also happens to wake him up too. He sees Jun asleep against the couch and his ears flatten back as he whines a bit. He sits up and rubs his eyes a bit before picking Jun up and carrying him to the bed. Then he tucks Jun in and all before going back to the living room. He curls up on the couch turning on the tv, on very low volume. And so he just watches the crappy shows on tv while Jun sleeps. At least his brain has shut up for now. That's a good effect. He doesn't feel sleep at this point and will probably stay up all night. He'll make it through tomorrow.

Jun of course began to dream again though this time he wasn't in the hospital he was with Vincent this time. It didn't seem like he was going to be with him for very long though. Asher was saying he was going to visit his family, but Vincent didn't want to go with. He didn't really blame him for not wanting to go he had his reasons and Asher understood that. They were his family though and he had to visit them every once in while. He wouldn't just leave them behind. Asher ended up leaving Vincent behind. He left him behind to go to his parents, but it was like almost the whole trip up til a certain part was in fast forward. There was a car jun saw it and he wanted to yell out to Asher or himself to stop and get out of the way, but it didn't work. Asher seemed to be distracted by something. The car kept getting closer and it was getting faster and faster. Jun wanted to get out he didn't want to be here as this car just kept coming at him. He knew it was moving faster than it seemed, but it seemed as if it was in slow motion now. Asher seemed to actually look now and he saw it too. Jun could feel the panic in him as if it was doubling his own and they both watched as it closed in on him. The car hit theirs and there was just a blur of colors for a moment, loud noises, and pain. There was a lot of pain. Asher/Jun couldn't get out of the car. They were stuck in the smashed car. Asher tried to reach out to get his phone he needed to call for help. He tried to move, but he couldn't do it no matter how hard he tried. "Shouki..." He coughed before he blacked out. Jun knew where they would both end up now. He tried to reach out to break the dream, but he couldn't. There was anyone to cling to this time. He was just hurled into another dream.

After some time, the tv really starts boring Vincent and he feels the need to check on Jun. It's not like he can really do anything if Jun is having one of those dreams again, but that doesn't stop him at this point. So, he goes into his bedroom to check on Jun and sits on the bed next to him, his ears dropping as he whines a bit. Jun always seemed to be having those type of dreams when he is sleeping now, so why would this time be an exception? Vincent whines a bit before threading his hand through Jun's hair. He probably won't be able to wake him up, but maybe he can soothe the dream/memory away? It's very unlikely, he thinks, but it's better to try it than do nothing. He just whines a bit. "Hey, Jun! Wake up?!" He tugs on the fox ear he finds in the hair a bit. He doesn't want to hurt Jun, but he does want him to wake up now. He doesn't like these dreams or what thoughts he has of what happened to Asher.

Jun was subject to watching everything that happened through Asher's eyes, but he never got a say in it. It wasn't that he would have done things much different considering he agreed with Asher or himself for the most part. It was just that he knew that Asher was going to die. Though the memories were going in a reverse course rather than forward. Jun could now remember more of Asher's life, but only things that had a large impact seemed to be played out to him. Jun began to wake up a bit on his own, but he was really in a daze about it. He didn't know if this was going to be real or just a memory. It was all just a blur. He felt someone tugging on his ear and reached up slowly to stop them. He groaned a bit, but he knew this wasn't a dream now because he could control himself at least that was what he thought. "Vincent?" He mumbled still with his eyes closed and his head down.Well, that answered his question about it being a memory or real.

Vincent whimpers as Jun doesn't immediately wake up. He just pulls Jun to himself as he says his names. He halfway wraps himself around Jun. "I'm sorry you have these dreams." He nuzzles into Jun's neck a bit. "If I could stop them I would.....but I don't know how." He hugs him tightly against him. "I wish I knew how to stop them...." He has a feeling he knows what part Jun is experiencing....at least the end. And tears start leaking out of his eyes a bit. The thought of anyone reliving that bothers Vincent. "I'm sorry." And possibly....Jun knows that it's his fault that all this happened. Or at least, in Vincent's mind it is. He has a tendency to blame himself on that part since there is no way he could blame Asher in any way.

Jun was still in a daze as he felt Vincent moving him and himself around. Jun couldn't really bring himself to move all that much so he just laid there. He could hear Vincent and he didn't understand him all to well. "It's not your fault." Jun said his eyes were still closed because he didn't want to open them yet. "Don't you want me to remember?" Jun asked. He knew that Vincent probably didn't mean it that way, but Jun couldn't help but say it. He felt like Vincent didn't want him to remember things, but he knew that he was lonely and wanted Asher back. It was confusing for him to try to understand it all. "Why are you sorry? There is nothing for you to be sorry about." Jun didn't want to hear Vincent say he was sorry for something he didn't do.

Vincent whines softly. "But.....it hurts you to remember....I don't want that...." He doesn't want that....even if it means having his love back. There's been enough pain already. There is no need for more pain, especially for Jun. He shouldn't have to relive that bad time. It was probably worse for Asher....and he couldn't be there to try and make it better, but he can try now. "You shouldn't have to dream of that....and if I wasn't around....you might never had started dreaming about this..." He says very softly...waiting for Jun to get angry or something. Possibly violent maybe. People do surprise you sometimes.

"Stop...please just stop..." Jun said as he turned to push himself up, but he couldn't do it yet. Instead he just opened his eyes looking up at Vincent. "I don't care if it hurts." Jun looked away and rolled over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. "It would have hurt more if I remembered and you weren't here. I wouldn't have known what to do...I might have thought I was going crazy...I couldn't have handled this..." Jun knew he probably would have remembered at some point and he wouldn't have handled it very well. "It's my memory, it's a part of who I am. I would have remembered it sooner or later." Jun's chest felt heavy when Vincent said if he wasn't around Jun wouldn't have remembered. "I can leave...I don't know where I will go, but I can leave." Jun's breathing was a bit shallow as he said it. He wasn't going to break down here and now. He wasn't sure where he would go, but he didn't want to cause anyone trouble especially for Vincent.

Vincent whines a bit with his ears drooping. "But....you might not have remembered at all...I think something has to trigger stuff like that." He's now sitting up on the bed...kind of looking like a puppy that knows it has done something wrong. "Or you might have just written it off as some crazy vivid dreams or something and went on with your life. Maybe going to a doctor about it and getting some type of medicine to repress the dreams or something. At the mention of leaving, Vincent makes this strange noise. "Do....do you want to leave?" He has his head bowed as he kneads the sheet underneath him. "I-I don't want you to leave..." Even if he wasn't Asher, he's still a nice person to have around. He doesn't want him to go unless...he wants to.

Jun closed his eyes and kept them shut. He didn't want to hear Vincent talking like this. He just didn't want to hear it. It hurt him to hear it coming from him. He flinched a bit at the noise Vincent made and he took a sharp breath to hold back tears. "I don't want to leave, but you have to stop blaming yourself...I won't stay here if it's just going to make you unhappy to remember my death." Jun meant this he wasn't going to stay and let Vincent blame himself for everything that happened or was going to happen. He wouldn't allow that to happen. He wouldn't like to leave and it may hurt Vincent, but he felt like he was already hurting him by just being there. Jun didn't want to open his eyes again because it seemed like every time he did he just made Vincent cry. So he stayed there with his eyes closed.

"But....it also makes me happy to have you here." Vincent is making some chibi eyes even though Jun isn't looking at him or anything. "And it's not like it is something I can just forget or anything." It would feel like a betrayal to him somehow if he did forget it. It isn't something he should forget in his mind, even though he tried to bury it for years so he could keep on living until he could join Asher again. Vincent can't help the way he thinks about the past. Little simple things could have changed what happened. Maybe if he was willing to put up with the dislike or something, Asher wouldn't have crashed. Maybe he still would've. Vincent has no clue and neither does anywhere else. "I'm sorry...." He isn't sure why he's saying it but he feels the need to say it as he tugs on Jun a bit.

"...I didn't say you had to forget...I just don't want you to blame yourself. You weren't driving either of the cars. So, none of it could have possibly have been your fault." Jun reached out and grabbed Vincent's hand and pulled him towards him. Jun wanted Vincent to stop being sad because it made Jun sad as well. "Please..." Jun whispered when he heard Vincent say he was sorry. "You have no reason to be sorry." Jun just wanted to rest now and not be sad about things that he didn't completely understand. He just wanted to with Vincent. That's all he wanted at the moment.

Vincent whines softly, but says nothing. He's never really thought it was his fault in a way...he just thinks about all the things that could have been different if he had tried harder....or was willing to deal with Asher's parents'....hatred? of him. He just shakes his head a bit, trying to push that away for now. He needs to stop thinking about that. He lets himself be pulled and nuzzles into Jun a bit. "....I'm..." He stops himself from saying sorry since that's all he can think of to say. He doesn't mean to be like this. He really doesn't. He just ends up this way.

Jun's ear flattened a bit when he heard Vincent whine a bit and when he tried to say he was sorry. He was glad that he made the attempt to stop. He didn't want to seem mean by asking him to stop, but Jun just couldn't listen to him saying he was sorry for things he didn't do. "I won't have these dreams forever. They will go away when I remember everything." Jun said looking at the brighter side of things. He must have been through the painful parts at least physical pain. "So, please cheer up." He said as he rubbed Vincent's back a bit.

(our riding lawn mower doesn't work anymore D: )

Vincent can't help but whimper/whine again. He wants to say that he's sorry again, but Jun doesn't like that. So he refrains. He nuzzles into Jun a bit. "I hope you don't." He knows, somewhat, of what Jun is dreaming/remembering, and doesn't want the dreams to plague him or anything. As his back is rubbed, he nuzzles into Jun a bit more before he starts purring, unable to stop himself from it. Jun, in general, is calming to him minus a few things....certain memories. But other than those, he's calming for Vincent. "...thanks..." He smiles up at jun a bit.