|
Yuuta had mostly stayed quiet. He hated how Rayne lectured him as well, but the woman was right as usual. He had said he wanted to become stronger. That he wanted his family back. He had been warned, but he didn’t really believe the woman when she told him how Fiaria was. He didn’t believe it was possible for her to become so different. The male let out a sigh before starting to eat.
The woman hadn’t been quick enough to close the door behind her as Rayne entered almost right after her. Fiaria bit her lower lip, she didn’t want things to be this way, but she felt the space was needed. She didn’t stop the woman from speaking. At the seer's pushing for her to talk to Ara’mis in private she protested. The fear she felt getting the better of her. “What for? He doesn’t want to talk….he doesn’t want anything to do with me.” The Katayan shook her head, but it did no good as Rayne lead her out of the room and made sure to also grab Ara’mis on the way to the back door. Doing as told Shiro unfroze the house and got his mother a plate of food. Following along he wondered what Auntie Luna was about to call Ara’mis. He didn’t know why his mother needed to spend time with the man. It annoyed him because he wanted to tell Fiaria about everything that had happened over the past month over dinner. Why was it that others got to spend time with her before he did? It wasn’t fair. The boy followed them to the cabin staying close to his mother. “I hope you like the food. I helped Auntie Luna make it.” He sounded very proud as he looked up at her with his emerald eyes. In them it was clear to see that he didn’t want her to leave his side. Fiaria gathered her courage once again as they walked to the cabin in the back. Looking down at her son she smiled at him. “I’m sure I will my love.” Seeing the look in her eyes caused her heart to ache. She wanted to be with him as well, but right now she needed to work things out with Ara’mis. Gently she pet Shiro’s head. “Don’t worry my son. We will be able to spend time together before I have to leave again. Please be patient.” The look she gave to him was full of love. At the cabin the woman listened as Rayne spoke to her and Ara’mis. The look she gave to the seer before she left was one of thanks and hope before nodding. Quietly she sat the plate Shiro had given her to the side. The food did smell good, but now wasn’t the time for eating. Hearing the click of the door as it was locked the Katayan took a deep breath to clear her thoughts. Her earlier words echoed through her mind. In her case she had probably already lost the game that she played with Ara’mis. Her icy blue eyes watched the assassin for a moment before she took his hand. She wasn’t going to let him get away this time. “Ara, you are going to talk to me. I don’t want to play games right now. There are some things I need to tell you, that I want you to know. Fiaria’s eyes searched his as she spoke. “So listen.” Her eyes never left eyes. Soon her intentions would be known. “We have known each other a long time. It’s never mattered to me who or what you were. I miss the time we use to spend together when we were younger. I know you are against relationships and having ties to other people, but it’s time we face it and decide what we are to each other.” The woman took a breath, the emotions in her eyes shifting from being serious to more gentle. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything for me. That at some point you actually didn’t care about me. Don’t give me your damn lies because I don’t want them Ara’mis. Because if you didn’t then why did you let Aveline capture you and make a fuss over whether or not I lived? Especially after saying that I meant nothing to you. When you said that while staring at me you really hurt me. But of course I’m just a fool to you right? Someone to be used because they have feelings for you. Because they want more. Because I love you!” There were tears of anger and sadness streaming down her cheeks as she yelled the last few sentences at him. The Katayan let a moment pass so she could recompose herself. “Also you’re probably wondering aren’t you about the boy.” Fiaria point towards Rayne’s house. “That little boy is my son, our son. That’s right he is your son. I was afraid of what you would think. I was also afraid because I knew I couldn’t give him the kind of life he deserved and convinced that I wasn’t supposed to have happiness, to have a family again. That I didn’t deserve such a thing. So I hid the fact I was pregnant and after he was born and old enough I sent him away with Damon to raise as his son. Shiro doesn’t know yet that you’re his real father, but I want him to know. He deserves to know, just like you do.” Releasing the assassin’s hand she took a step back. A frown forming on her lips as she watched him. “I’m sorry that I kept this secret from you. That I never told you before now that I do truly love you.” A heavy sigh came from her as she finally let her gaze fall from him. “Like I said before whatever you decide is fine. I won’t try to tie you down. All I ask is that you be honest with me in return.” Really all she wanted to do was hug and kiss him, to make him see what she was saying was true, but she restrained herself since she was unsure of how he was going to react to everything. Before Shiro knew it Rayne and he were heading back to the house. As they walked he hugged her back. “Why is it so important that they talk now?” The question was innocent. Shiro didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. The boy felt out of place and only wanted to be with his mother. It seemed like he was going to get was a tighter hug as an answer. Yuuta’s eyes followed Rayne and Shiro as they returned alone. “I’m sorry for how I acted, but I wasn’t prepared to face such anger. I’ll do better next time.” He quirked a small smile. “It’s hard to believe she’s so different from when we were kids. I could never imagine what she’s been through to make her that way.” He let out a sigh before standing. Though he knew that Rayne didn’t like being touched the male still went over to her and brushed some stray hairs from her face. The talk of honesty earlier that his sister, Fiaria, was doing stirred something inside him. He was sure he felt something for Rayne, but he wasn’t sure how to get her to see that. Maybe honesty would help. With a smile he pecked her cheek lightly. His fur turning a subtle shade of pink as he looked away, bashfully. “Come, let’s eat before it gets cold.” |
Ara'mis looked up as Rayne pulled Fiaria from the back room. The assassin was still trembling as the seer took his hand. For once, he didn't fight back - he followed numbly. It wasn't long before they were in the cabin. Ara'mis hadn't caught much of the in-between journey, but he did notice when Rayne left.
There was a strange pause during which the assassin looked at anything but Fiaria. Ara'mis tried desperately to regain that mask; that distant method of handling these situations. Instead, his emotions were all too close. Everything he'd seen in Rayne's eyes had left too much of an impact to be so easily brushed away. He was still trying to collect himself when a familiar hand took his. Ara'mis wanted to pull away - but, as honesty bid, he equally didn't. The assassin tried his best to keep his gaze on their hands, but instead let his eyes drift up to meet Fiaria's gaze. He knew she wanted to talk. She didn't want games, didn't want lies and false leads. This was true, this was real. Just like what he'd seen staring back at him through the seer's eyes. Truth. Skies, why did it always hurt so much? Like a white-hot brand, truth always seared its way through to him. Ara'mis swallowed quietly when Fiaria bid him to listen. He couldn't speak. He wasn't quite sure what would leave his lips if he did. So ... he listened. Yes, they'd known one another for many years. Many. Many. Years. Ara'mis' expression shifted from something numb and unhappy to something ... worse at the mention of facing their relationship head on. Dread. There was dread within his eyes. Fear. Ara'mis wasn't breathing. His chest tightened again, as it had when he was looking into Rayne's eyes. Funny, how truth brought such suffocating reactions from him. Ara'mis managed to hold Fiaria's gaze, however. There was something gentle there, not ... quite what he'd expected. He wasn't sure what he'd thought he'd see, but this was nearly surprising. Ara'mis turned his face from her, sucking in a breath. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything for me." He tried to speak, to cut her off. This couldn't continue. She had to stop. This wasn't something they discussed, though it was clear now that it was the purpose of the evening. Or, at least one of them. "You seem to be making a big deal out of someth-" "Don’t give me your damn lies because I don’t want them Ara’mis." He silenced, seeming so easily shut down. Usually his anger would flare, and he'd force Fiaria to be silent. This time, though, the assassin merely tried to pull his hand away. It was a weak gesture, as though he wasn't sure he wanted to be free. Ara'mis' breath was catching, and by the mentioning of the guardswoman Aveline, his eyes were locked on Fiaria's once again. It was so frustrating that the lies that so easily left his lips stood frozen. They couldn't form cohesively in his mind, let alone sound convincing even to him. Was she just a fool to him? He said so many times. Something resonated within him that gave him the answer - it was a soft, quiet voice. No. You're not the fool, Fia. For so many years, he'd been calling her that when he was really talking about himself. "Because I love you!" Ara'mis looked as though he'd been stabbed. This time, he tried to jerk his hand away. He failed, as the effort faded the moment it began. There was so much distress in his gaze, so much frustration and fear ... just at those simple words. The emotion wouldn't stop. Those words echoed throughout his mind until it was nearly all he could hear. I love you. In the moment of silence that passed between them, Ara'mis refused to acknowledge the tears that mirrored many of Fiaria's as they slowly slid over his cheeks. Why? You shouldn't. Again, his tongue was strangely heavy. He didn't speak, and instead tightened his grasp on Fiaria's hand as she continued. He couldn't, however, keep himself silent for long. "Our," Ara'mis forced the word, "son." The assassin looked torn between wanting to smile and panic. Mostly panic. Ara'mis was shaking again. It felt like all of this was a bad dream, conjured up the moment he looked into Rayne's eyes. This ... was real, though. He could feel it. It was all the things that they hadn't talked about, all of the moments they'd pushed aside, or torn down. They were all flooding in all at once, unpleasant and startling as any deep body of water. Ara'mis looked weak. Slowly, he fell still, though this time it wasn't his usual assassin's mask. Instead, it was numbness. This was nearly too much. Fiaria released his hand, and it fell to his side. His gaze stayed on her, flickering over her face as though trying desperately to find some kind of lie in her gaze. There was no such thing. She was telling the truth - every single word of it. Slowly, he turned from her. It was the only thing he could do to regain his composure. It didn't work. He turned back to face Fiaria. Ara'mis shook his head, slowly reaching up to wipe one cheek dry. "Honest?" The word was hardly audible. "After all this?" He lifted a shaking hand and stared at it. A mocking breath of laughter left his lips. "I ... can't even think." He was trying so hard to keep his true emotion from showing, but no attempt could keep it from his eyes. Strangely, the anger that flew through him faded quickly, leaving behind that same sense of dread and fear he'd felt earlier. He started, stopped. Paused. Tried again. His words caught. After a few unsuccessful tries, Ara'mis rasped out what he could. “I will hurt you. I will get you killed. We’ve both known that for years. Now, there are two lives involved, not just you.” Slowly, his fear bloomed into something closer to anger. "You know what happens when you get close." His green eyes blazed suddenly, full of frustration. "The more lives you tie together, the more risk you introduce. Chains, Fia. Bondage you will never be free from!" Ara'mis' strength returned, and his shaking hand gave the woman a shove. "You will never be free. Not from the worry from the ... feelings." It was caving in around him. What he'd thought was solid ground was giving in too quickly for Ara'mis to catch a foothold. He didn't know how to react, what to do. The assassin growled, his once-saddened tears looking like pinpoints of rage. Then ... he was gone. Ara'mis turned and walked out the door, hissing curses in his native tongue like never before. "Just ... stop." He needed air. He couldn't breathe. Ara'mis stepped outside with his rage to power him, but immediately felt it leave him. The assassin nearly collapsed, and reached for the doorway. Easing himself against the side of the building, Ara'mis struggled to catch his breath. ((SURPRISE. He's actually just outside. ;) Follow him, Fia. FOLLOW. *cough*)) |
Rayne smiled and pet Shiro as they finally entered the house, giving him a sad smile before hugging him tighter then before. "It is very important...so super duper important that they talk now. For depending on what happens, you may be able to go live with your mother instead of me." her voice was full of love and happiness for him but her eyes said that the thought of him leaving was very saddening.
"Do not worry, love. You will be able to spend plenty of time with her in the next few days." she pet him again, kissing him between his ears before nudging him to go and eat with his uncle. When Yuuta spoke to her, she met his violet eyes briefly before looking away just as quickly. "Things change people....as for how you have acted....you know what i have to say on that subject." she said to him in a strict tone of voice, sometimes she felt as if she was raising up two kids instead of the one who acted more like an adult then his own uncle. She jerked slightly at feeling that furry hand/paw brush her hair from her face, she blinked in surprise, blushing at the kiss as she covered her mouth as if she was trying to stop herself from saying something. She watched them move back to the table to eat together, a warm smile was on her face. Her heart was full, feeling as if it was on fire and about to burst at any moment but she could still feel the dark hole that resided in her that ate up her good feelings. The minutes ticked by as she watched them, finally moving over to take a seat as she picked up a cup of ale to drink it. Doing it more so to numb herself to the fact that she could have just scarred Ara'mis for life, or had actually helped him. Before she knew it, she had drank almost the whole barrel of ale on her own. Her face was flushed red, her words were slurred and she was not making any sense what so ever. The only thing that Yuuta or Shiro could make out or tell was that she was sad and putting herself down. She even mentioned the words father, mother, jackasses, and leaving to met her faith in a week. |
Standing there Fiaria had took in every emotion that flicker through those green eyes and over the man’s face. The fear, the dread, all the unwanted feelings that he was now faced with. This wasn’t going to be easy and she knew it from the beginning. It pained her to see the man she loved like this. Had it been the right decision to tell him?
Patiently she waited for him respond. It took him several tries, but the result was similar to what she expected. “Even so it doesn’t change how I feel. I accept it. Only two once the boy knows the truth. For now he doesn’t have to.” Fear entered her mind again. “Yes, but…” her words fell silent. Fiaria wanted to stop him, but she couldn’t. Like he had done she would listen to the end. Just as she went to reach out to him Ara’mis shoved her away. The look in her eyes was like one of being stabbed. Icy eyes watched him as he left. “You won’t be free if all you ever do is run away .” His words ran through her head again. The more they echoed the more anger she felt. No, this wasn’t the end of this conversation. The assassin wasn’t going to get off that easily. Her body was shaking from the mixture of emotions that coursed through her. Following after the man she stepped outside just in time to see him almost collapse. Some of the rage she felt faded at the sight of him being weak. With a sad smile she approached him. “Breath Ara’mis, just breath.” Before he could escape she cupped his face in her hands. “I know that I hit you with a lot all at once.” A soft sigh came from her as she forced him to look in her eyes. Even though fear, sadness and anger still lingered in them they were also full of love and kindness. “I know you can hurt me, that you could get me killed. It doesn’t matter because I can do the same to you.” This scene continued. “I’m sorry that you feel that I’m like a chain weighing you down. I never meant to be and never intend to be.” She shook her head slightly her hands slipping for his cheeks to take his hands. The woman led him back inside of the cabin so he could have a seat. “Before you push me away, before you crush me…before you rip my heart out. Will you at least give me some reason to why you feel that way? And don’t give me that Sithe crap. There is more to it than that. I know there is. If you’ll let me I’m willing to share your pain, your suffering so you don’t have to face it alone. Just give me a chance damn it. Don’t be a coward.” Her voice grew louder and strong as she continued. Fiaria’s determination was clear on her face. She wasn’t going to let him get away. Before he knew it she had frozen the door and windows shut since Rayne locking the door hadn’t been able to stop him. |
He could see the hurt in her eyes. When Ara'mis had shoved Fiaria, she'd looked so ... pained. Betrayed. That look ... it only added to his need to be outside. Still, his chest felt tight. This ... all of this. It was too much. He couldn't find something stable. There were no lies, he hadn't prepared for this. Ara'mis didn't know how to react, how to move, what to think....
The lock on the door hadn't slowed him one bit. The assassin knew how to pick locks, and apparently it only took a few seconds to get through a locked door. Ara'mis rested his head back against the cold wood, trying to draw breath without it hitching in his throat. All too soon, Fiaria followed him. He'd hoped to slip away before she could catch him. Fate had other plans. “You won’t be free if all you ever do is run away.” Ara'mis refused to look at the woman as Fiaria approached. He tried to step away, to slide along the side of the building to get away from her. He was too numb to move his feet. The assassin cringed as warm hands cradled his face, and her encouragement to breathe filled his ears. It was true. There had been a lot to take in. It was his cowardice that made this difficult, and even he knew it. He couldn't lie to himself, or justify his actions - Rayne had been sure of that. His breath continued to hitch. She never meant to pull him down. He knew. He knew that. Ara'mis opened his eyes to see Fiaria's pain and hurt, her fear ... and that new emotion. Love. The breath left him again, and the assassin seemed to struggle against the urge to run. They could both hurt one another. Both get one another killed. Ara'mis didn't resist as Fiaria took his hands, and followed her back inside. His mind was screaming at him to turn around and run, but his heart wasn't sure. It was too late when ice formed about the exit, its crackling reminding Ara'mis of where he was. "Any connection is a tie," he said quietly, his gaze slowly lifting from their clasped hands. "You may not mean to cause harm, but that tie will always be a weak link." Just as he said as much, Ara'mis tried to pull his hands away from her again. Fiaria's fiery tone stopped him, however, and the assassin merely listened. Her question shot through him, and he turned his gaze elsewhere. It was the only escape now. He couldn't run - he had taken a seat as soon as Fiaria got him back inside. He didn't trust his legs to carry him, nor his voice to speak. If he couldn't trust himself, what use was it trying to escape? Fate was cruel, wasn't it? Ara'mis hissed weakly when Fiaria demanded a reason for his hatred of relationships. "From birth we're taught-" Again, he was cut off. "Don’t give me that Sithe crap." The assassin grit his teeth, pulling his hands away from Fiaria as she demanded a chance. "It isn't your burden to bear!" Ara'mis jerked his hands away, realizing how ... self-sacrificing the words seemed. Like he was protecting her by keeping it a secret. Hah. How untrue that was; how foolish it seemed even to him. He didn't want to say it - didn't want to give it form, didn't want to admit to what he'd done. The assassin cast a desperate look toward the window just to see it freeze over. Finally, Ara'mis wiped his face dry again. With a frustrated growl, he turned his face away from Fiaria. "This isn't some pitied event that I need help bearing, Fia. I don't suffer from some foolish need to feel friendship, nor do I want it." As he spat his words, the assassin felt a strange desire bubble up within him. Tell her, then. If she wants to know so badly, why not tell her everything? There was no loss in her knowing, was there? It would only serve to prove his point. "No one can be trusted. People will always fail you," he said roughly, his gaze still anywhere but Fiaria. "As a Sithe, we're raised to accept this fact." He glared at Fiaria suddenly, as though daring her to cut him off. "It's reinforced throughout our lives, starting when we're children. Many of us are raised by dysfunctional families, if you can even call them that." The assassin snorted, looking disgusted. "Any tie you have, any relationship you foster, is purposefully broken." Skies, he wished his legs had the strength to stand. Ara'mis' hands were still shaking. He clenched his fists, trying to make them stop as he continued. "Mother, brother ... it doesn't matter among my people." There was a new hatred in his eyes now, one that made the reflective green gaze more violent than usual. In fact, this was the worst Fiaria had seen him. If he hadn't been so weak, it would have been deadly. "You kill. You kill everyone, you trust no one." His voice was rising, the disgust growing in his expression. "You do anything. Everything." Ara'mis stood suddenly, ignoring the weakness he felt. His step was slightly unsteady, but that didn't matter. His fury helped him ignore it. He began to pace, as he often did when agitated. His hands moved with his words, giving them emphasis and an extra layer of anger and hatred. "You trust. Everyone trusts." Again, disgust. That word was spit out as a sickening thing. "You can't count on anything. Not even the ones you save. The ones you grow up with. The ones you choose thinking they harbor some sort of ... tie." His hand raked through his hair roughly. "You kill them, or they kill you." His mind raced with images of his mother, his brother ... deep water. Hatred. Darkness. Cold. The assassin reached for a wall, hating that these memories were rushing back so suddenly. How long had he shoved them back, keeping them from overwhelming him? Without his distance, his mask of lies, he could do nothing to stop them. "Anyone I've ever begun to trust has stabbed me in the back." Ara'mis didn't say the words sadly, but as a statement of fact. His gaze shot to the ground as though he were seeing something from memory. "So I got rid of the problem. I killed them." His brother, a child so close to his own age, held him. There was fear, panic - he couldn't breathe. The cold bit at him, the wound killing him.... Ara'mis snarled, suddenly realizing his blades were in hand. With a disgusted sound, he cast them to the ground. "Save yourself from a life full of lies, and a heart full of pain and sorrow. Nothing will lead to a happy ending, Fia. The only peace anyone gets from me is their end." Leaning against the wall again, the assassin tried to calm his breathing. ((*glances* He's getting closer to telling the story - he hasn't told anyone ever, you do realize. *slowly frowns* It's odd, I thought Ara was going to let me spit it all out at once. Apparently not.)) |
Shiro liked the idea of being able to live with his mother, but he liked living here with his Auntie Luna. Here he had more freedom than he ever did while living with his ‘father’. “If you say so and I would like to be able to live as a family.” He gave her a smile, keeping his question to himself for now. He wanted to ask what about her. Wouldn’t she be lonely without him there? It made him happy to hear that he would be able to spend time with Fiaria soon.
After Rayne kissed his head he returned to his seat at the table. A small catty grin formed on his lips as his uncle was scolded again. Really he didn’t know how Yuuta could even be considered an adult sometimes. His attention turned away from the adults as he started eating again. For now he would have to contain his excitement. Yuuta gave a small nod. “Yes things do change people. I know.” The words were whispered and in response to Rayne’s continuation of her earlier lecture. When the seer finally joined them at the table he gave her a smile. As he ate he would glance at her every so often. Something was wrong, he could tell. He had never seen her drink so much before. “Shiro, could you clean up and then go on to your room to play? I’ll make sure your mom comes in to see you once she’s finished talking to what’s his name.” For a change the older Katayan was acting like a grown up. The boy did as he was asked and didn’t question his uncle. He too was concerned over Rayne’s drinking, but he would leave her in Yuuta’s hands. It didn’t take him long to clean things up. Before going to his room Shiro looked up at his uncle. “What’s wrong with Auntie Luna? She’s scaring me.” Yuuta shook his head and told the boy that she just had a little too much to drink and she would be fine by morning. Taking the older man’s word the boy went to his room. With a sigh Yuuta frowned looking at Rayne. He took the woman’s mug away from her. “I think you’ve have enough to drink for one night. I’m not sure what you are going on about, but I’m not letting you go anywhere. You belong here with Shiro and with me.” Even though he knew she would push him away again he moved to put his arms around her. “Please tell me what’s bothering you. I won’t hurt you because I like you.” The words he spoke were gentle and sweet. They held warmth and truth. All he could do is hope that they could reach the woman in her drunken state. |
Rayne sniffled as she wiped her face, pulling out a cigarette as she lit it. She blew the smoke calmly out as she smiled at Shiro, scratching behind his ears before tugging him close just to kiss the top of his head. "My bouy....uve ewe!" she said to him, her words not making since as she hugged him tightly, refusing to let him go as she nuzzled at his head.
She only let him go when she moved to drink more of her alcoholic drink and to make sure she was not getting smoke in the darling boy's face. Yuuta on the other hand was fair game in her opinion, after all he was acting like a big baby earlier and deserved it. She basically was drowning her self in her ale, a sad look upon her face as she saw Shiro leave causing her to cry even more as she waved sadly at him. "Sh *hic* o!" was the sob that came from her into her cup as she laid her top half on the table, hugging the mug close to her chest. "NOOO!!!!" where the cries of protest, as she flailed around like a little kid whom had their favorite toy taken away. She tries as hard as she could in her drunk stupor to gain her lost pint back before she flopped onto the table. Her arms out stretched with her face buried into the cedar wood, pounding on it for a few minutes before huffing and pouting at the fact she ruined her smoke and had put it out at the same time. "Me *hic* e." she said to him, her face was puffy and red from crying and the liquor she had consumed. The curvy body of the see stiffened as Yuuta hugged her from behind, it took her a few minutes to realize what he was doing exactly before she started to flail around as she tried to break free, unable to do so since she was pinned between him and the table. Screaming to be let go as if she was being harmed even though she wasn't. Soon she stopped struggling and gasped as if she was in pain, stiffening in his arms, her eyes glazing over before going limp. "nooo....please.....stop.......I can't do it anymore.....it is far to much....." her pained words escaped her, surprisingly coherant as they revealed just how sad and scared that she was as she cried uncontrollably into her hands. She was talking about her visions, her gift. Seeing the future is a rather heavy burden and for the first time it was clear that it has gotten to her in a bad way. Something she saw caused her to be like this. Not even when Rai beat her to the edge of death had she acted like this. "Yoouse on lee tink hat out me!" |
It didn’t surprise the woman when the man shouted at her. She let her now empty hands fall to her sides. It was her forcefulness that caused it. What did surprise her were the words that came from him. “It isn’t your burden to bear!” They were the same as how she felt about her own pain and past. Fiaria watched Ara’mis. He was struggling.
In silence she listened to him as he had to her. I know that you don’t want pity and I don’t offer pity. I know you don’t want friendship, but what I offer is more than that. In then end since you want neither friendship or what I have to offer you does that me I’m unwanted as well? I’m unneeded and unnecessary? Her thoughts remained unsaid as she just listened to him speak. She kept the tears she felt coming held back. Don’t think like that just let him speak, give him a chance to open up. Again he mentioned the Sithe. Of course he couldn’t speak of his past with referring to his people. The woman knew this yet she had told him not to give her any of the Sithe crap like he usually did. Ara’mis’ glare caught her a bit off guard as she took a hesitant step back. Her gaze lowered, noticing his hands shaking. All she wanted to do was take them in hers, but feared if she tried the man would only slap them away. Fiaria’s gaze raised back to his face at the mentioning of mother and brother. His green eyes so filled with hate and darkness. She had never seen such a violent look within them before now. What was it that made him look that way? The look of disgust he wore as he continued on caused her to cringe slightly. The feelings of kill or be killed and thinking that way the woman could relate to. How long had she lived that way? Even now she had to somewhat live that way. Because of things in her own past there was no escape from that kind of thing. It was the being raised to not trust, being betrayed on purpose and force to do unspeakable things that she didn’t understand. More than likely she never would. It wasn’t until now that Fiaria truly realized just how much Ara’mis seemed to hate himself. To hate who and what he was. He had worn his mask well to hide it all. Her icy eyes never left him while he paced, talking, his words filled with anger and disgust. “Anyone I’ve ever begun to trust has stabbed me in the back.” The words hurt causing her to look a little pained. Somewhere inside she had hoped he did trust her even if it was just a little. Her hope had been as foolish as she thought. I suppose I’ve stabbed you in the back as well? No that’s not right you don’t trust me. Never have and never will because I mean nothing to you right? She had opened her mouth to speak those words, but they wouldn’t come out. The sound of disgust that came from the assassin and his blades hitting the floor brought her back from her thoughts. The Katayan looked as though she was halfway ready to cry. A few moments passed, her icy blue eyes watching him. Fiaria gave him a half smile as she moved to his side. Leaning back against the wall she looked up at the ceiling. “It’s a bit too late for that Ara. I was broken a long time ago, my heart filled with pain and sorrow. My life becoming one of kill or be killed. Full of lies just to be able to survive. No, there is no happy ending, there never was.” Her voice was steady, hiding the sadness and pain she felt from actually stating the realization aloud. Lying to herself or to him wouldn’t do any good. Tentatively the woman rests her head against his shoulder. “If I wanted peace then I wouldn’t be here. Though I might not mind if you were the one to finally grant me peace.” A few stray tears fell to his shoulder. “Is that really all there is to it?” The words were quiet. “If it is then I’m surprised you haven’t gotten rid of me yet. Especially since I mean nothing to you.” She quoted him from that night at her house when both Damon and Ara’mis had caused her so much trouble. Had caused her to lose control and then the next day almost caused her to lose her life. Since then the woman had been very confused and conflicted. If anything she at least wanted to know how Ara’mis felt, if she did mean nothing more to him than a useful tool. ((gah, Fiaria is being more depressive then I thought she would be considering how fiery she had been.)) |
Ara'mis had his gaze fixed fiercely on his fallen blades as he tried to regain a sense of mind. It was difficult - especially after the mask had been torn away from him. He hated what he saw underneath it; hated the pathetic coward that looked back at him. That's what he saw in Rayne's eyes: a coward, a liar, and not an ounce of anything real. Nothing was real. He was a pathetic shadow, something built on such horrid things that it all caved in the moment his lies were wiped away. It disgusted him.
Unaware of Fiaria's silent words, the assassin merely returned to keeping his hands from shaking. He leaned against the wall heavily, reminded that there was a reason he had been sitting a few moments prior. His legs were weak again, but Ara'mis was too stubborn to return to the chair. Instead, he suffered in silence. His anger was spent, leaving the fear and dread to flood back into him. Ara'mis didn't move as Fiaria approached, leaning against the wall beside him. The dark-haired male didn't bother looking in her direction, knowing that it would only confirm that he'd said everything she'd heard that night. There was a slight smile on her face, but it wasn't wholehearted. Ara'mis tried to keep his gaze away from her, but as Fiaria began to speak his eyes were drawn to hers. "Nothing but failure follows me, Fia. Why would you choose..." he hesitated, searching for the right word briefly, "something like me?" If she wanted peace, she wouldn't be there. Somehow, the words were nearly comforting. Until he felt a weight against his shoulder, and her words filled the silence. They were heavy, full of burden and sorrow. For once, he couldn't pass the moment off in jest. Grant her peace? No. He wouldn't be the one to put her down. "You know I won't."Not purposefully. At the quote of his past words, Ara'mis cringed. The expression was genuine, and he looked guiltily away. "You know as well as I that ... I wouldn't be here if you meant nothing." His green eyes continued to avoid her, though he felt the weight of her head against his shoulder still. The assassin wrinkled his nose, hating how the words sounded. He hated everything right now, really. Maybe he just hated himself. With a growl, Ara'mis pushed Fiaria's head from him. The action was surprisingly gentle, despite his fierce expression. The male ran a hand through his hair, struggling to speak. His breath caught a few times, and his words wouldn't start correctly. After a few tries, Ara'mis fell silent. And still. Very still. Reflective eyes flickered to Fiaria's, and he seemed to fill with equal mixtures of panic and desire. Whatever Rayne had done to him was certainly working - there was no mask, no lies to cover his emotion. It looked as though Ara'mis would reach for her, touch her face. The assassin began to lift his hand, though somehow stopped it halfway. It hovered before them, his expression wavering between emotions. Terrified to continue, Ara'mis stood frozen. Yet, his desire prompted him forward. His reaction to the dueling emotions was ... unexpected. Ara'mis suddenly allowed his hand to lift, and he caught Fiaria's face gently. Though his expression wasn't the most reassuring one, his thumb wiped away her tears. His hand was still shaking. "You ... do mean something to me." The words were pained, as though it took too much effort to say them. Perhaps it was because Ara'mis had convinced himself that Fiaria hadn't meant anything to him. The lies were easy to believe, to use as a shield. With them gone, he knew the answer. He couldn't throw himself into his deceit without the mask to protect him. Ara'mis' breath caught again, his chest tightening painfully. No. No, she doesn't. What the hell are you doing, you fool?! Ara'mis' mental dialog continued, the expressions mirrored on his face. She will be the death of you, whether she means to be or not. Ara'mis forced the words again, though this time they were whispered breathlessly. "You mean something to me." |
Shiro had waved to Auntie Luna before leaving. In his room he went about cleaning up a bit. He figured that his mother wouldn’t want to share his room with him if it was a mess. Things seemed to be getting weirder and weirder. He let out a sigh as he finished cleaning up and moved to his bed with a book in his hand. The boy stretched out and started to read.
Yuuta let the seer have her temper tantrum. When he wrapped his arms around her she started to flail again and scream. He held to her, keeping his hold on her gentle because he didn’t want to hurt her. It was when she stiffened that he grew concerned. “Rayne?” He whispered and was meet with her scared cry filled with pain. “Calm, it’ll be ok,” he cooed as he held her closer to him. Carefully he lifted her body from the table before taking a step back to sit in a chair. The man sat in the chair, pulling Rayne into his lap, still holding her whether she liked it or not. “I’m not letting go. Please tell me what’s wrong.” Yuuta’s voice was gentle and sweet. For coming from a warrior race the male Katayan was a kind and gentle creature. Nothing like one would expect. Sure he tended to be a cry baby and scaredy cat some…ok most of the time, but that was only because he wasn’t use to being around people who actually cared about him. Who didn’t want to hurt him because of who he was or where he came from. Keeping his right arm wrapped around the woman’s middle he used his left hand to stroke her cheek, wiping away the tears that she had missed. “Please Rayne, don’t push me away again.” This time his voice held a sadness to it. The longing he felt to get closer to the woman evident. The male was softly purring in hopes that it would help to calm the seer. |
She could not help it, going stiff like a statue, having visions forced upon her, for the month that Yuuta lived with her, he should have known the signs of her having visions though they were not all like that when they did happen. She turned her tear streaked face upwards so that she could look him in the face after letting her sobs die down.
"Pwease....let me *hic* go." her words were soft as she placed her hands onto his chest, trying to move away from him but was only forced to sit in his lap instead. She could not hold back the tears that streamed down her face as she closed her eyes once more so that he could not look into them and faced with his true self like Ara'mis was forced to. "Yuuta.....please.....you know i can't tell you.....and you only like me cause I am the opposite of Raja." she whispered the words to him, in doing so he was actually able to understand what she was saying. At his hand brushing against her cheek, she turned her face away from the gentle caress. Of course she wanted this, she wanted to be close to him and just not have to worry but she feared what he may find if he looked to closely at her. "You do not want me, Yuuta." her words were small as she seemed to curl in on her self, sniffling as she tried to explain to him in her own way that he was just in love with the idea she has given him. After all she was just the seer, no one could truly love a person that they could not hide secrets from, much less a person they could barely touch. The effect he wish his purring would have on it, did have that effect even though she was fighting it. She tried to pull away from him once more, unable to hide the hurt and pain she felt deep down inside at the moment. She sighed when she was unable to get away, turning her tear filled bright blue eyes up towards his violet ones. Letting him see the tears that were streaming down her face. "Yuuta....I....no matter how i feel about you. You must understand that being the seer....i have had to sacrifice a lot. So having what Fia has....is not something I can have. A family.....I can't have a family." her words were meant to hurt her, and they did hurt her, it was like she stabbed a knife into her own heart and twisted the blade before pulling it out. She honestly did not want to burden anyone to be stuck with her or the family that she could have. |
Fiaria let out a sigh. The fact that he referred to himself as something instead of a person made her heart ache a bit. The woman ignored his words of only failure following him. She took a moment to pick the right words to answer his question. “Because we’re not so different, you and I. You accept me as I am. You don’t question my past and don’t care about what I have done. To the world around us we are nothing more than ghosts, nightmares.” Her head shifted so she could look up at him. “You’re the only one that makes me feel this way.” All of those reasons were true. He was one of the few that didn't care about who she was, what she was or where she was from. He just seen her for her and nothing else...well for the most part nothing else.
Another soft sigh came from her. “No, you won’t do that at least not on purpose. You like to pester me too much for that.” Her head shifted to get a better look at him. Guilt? He actually looked guilty. The expression surprised her. Her icy eyes moved away from him, a small smile on her lips. She had been wrong about him meaning what he said. Those words had caused her to feel so angry and hurt back then. They had blinded her. There was relief in her eyes that maybe this wasn’t such a waste that just maybe he felt the same. “I should know that, but I had my doubts.” She didn’t fight him when he pushed her head off his shoulder. He was frustrated again, it was clear on his face. Fiaria watched him in silence, her tail twitching lightly behind her. Oh how she wished she could make this easier for him, but there was no way. The mixture of emotions that crossed his features made her question if this was right, made her heart ache. Her eyes stayed on his. It was hard for her to watch him struggle because he wasn’t able to hide behind his normal mask of lies. This is what she wanted though, to be honest with him and him with her. As he started to reach out to her the look in her eyes encouraged him to do so. When his hand caught her face she halfway closed her eyes, a smile on her lips. The light feeling of him wiping her tears away made Fiaria realize she had been trembling this entire time. Relief washed over her features at his words. Her hand rose to his cheek, stroking it gently. Again she gave him a loving smile. “I’m glad.” The words were whispered. At those simple words she felt happier. As he whispered them again she leaned closer to him, her lips lightly brushing his before she hugged him. There was more she wanted to know, but at this moment she would settle for this. “If I mean something to you other than a useful tool then please don’t keep pushing me away you foolish man.” |
Ara'mis stiffened at Fiaria's explanation. These feelings she felt? They were real. They were very real. They were alike; he'd caused her to fall when they'd met, and he'd felt the pull as well. They'd both fallen - and here they were, standing on the edge of change. Ara'mis knew this was the precipice of that change. He could leap off and run again, or ... stay. What would it be like if he stayed?
Despite how he'd avoided Fiaria's gaze, Ara'mis caught the slight smile on her face. She now knew that he'd lied to her - he'd lied about Fiaria meaning nothing just to try and prove a point. That point was always his goal: to keep more distance between them. It had been such a perfect time to do it. And, if that had been his true intention, it wouldn't have bothered Ara'mis. The relief in her expression and voice made Ara'mis relax slightly. She ... knew now. It was an odd feeling, this shedding of lies. That look she gave him. It was ... almost painful. It burned him, just like the truth did. There was such honesty in Fiaria's eyes, such emotion and love. Skies, he wanted this. He wanted this, but he dreaded it. He dreaded the pain of it. Ara'mis didn't get much more time to dwell on Fiaria's emotions, however. She leaned in, brushing her lips against his. Fiaria's soft embrace brought a strangely automatic reaction from him. His arms wrapped about her slowly, though from how tightly he returned her embrace proved that it wasn't just to give her a proper reaction. Ara'mis tucked his face against Fiaria's hair, breathing deeply. It was the first breath he'd taken properly since this whole thing started. "I-I..." Her comment made him tense, unsure of what to say. "I'll ... try." "You're shaking." They both were. Ara'mis frowned, pulling away briefly to look Fiaria over. Had he harmed her somehow? No. He hadn't touched her, miraculously. The assassin swallowed thickly, his fear slowly being pushed away. He had to ignore it. If he could ignore his desire, he could ignore fear. Right? |
Yes he had known the signs, but still he didn’t want to let go. This was one time he wanted to prove to her that he was a man, not a coward or cry baby like he tended to be. When Rayne finally turned to face him she was met with his gentle smile, though worry lingered in his violet eyes.
Yutta shook his head at her. The male let her try to push him away, but didn’t let his hold on her go. “No.” Gently he wiped away her tears with his pawlike hand. “There, there. Please calm down.” There was a pained look in his eyes at her words. “Is that really what you think?” He words were soft, barely a whisper as his gaze fell from the woman. “I know you can’t really tell me unless it concerns me. I just hate seeing you this way.” He frowned. So his true feelings weren’t coming across. The male almost growled when Rayne told him that he didn’t want her. “How do you know if you won’t give me a chance?” Like he had told her so many times before he had nothing to hide so why would he be worried about her knowing his secrets. He knew exactly who and what he was and he accepted it even if he wanted to change it. He calmed a bit, letting his purring being again. Again he wiped away her tears. Yuuta look in the look she had, the hurt, the pain. If he could he wanted to take it all away from her. The Katayan pulled her closer. At her words he shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be that way. If you feel something for me then be honest with me. I don’t care if you’re the seer or not. If you know my secrets or not. No, I don’t know what all you’ve had to sacrifice, but just because you are the seer doesn’t mean you can’t have the same things that Fia has. Though really I haven’t seen where she has much more than you. Her son lives with you. His father is who knows where since he and Fia aren’t really together.” He sighed slightly and gave her a sad smile. “I believe you can have a family if you want to have one.” Gently he rubbed her back and rocked with her in his lap. “Rayne, please give me a chance. I might not be the bravest of men. I’m a cry baby and somewhat of a coward.” Slowly his hold on her loosened. What was he doing trying to force her to give him a change. Just like she said no one would want her, who would want him? No one, that’s who. “If you won’t then can I at least can I continue to live here with you?” ______________________ Up until now she had watched his movements, his expressions, the emotions that crossed his face and flickered in his eyes. Even now there was fear, dread, and panic still lingering within Ara'mis. Fiaria just hugged him tightly. Her body relaxed a bit as her trembling died down from him returning her embrace. Even more so when he took a deep breath. The fact that he had been having trouble breathing until now worried her, but this reaction helped to put her mind at ease. He was going to be ok. She gave a light purr. “That’s all I ask is for you to try.” While they embraced she breathed in his scent as always it reminded her of twilight in the forest, a place between the light and the darkness. Ara’mis caught her off guard with his comment on her trembling. “You are as well.” The woman stood very still as he looked her over. No he hadn’t harmed her, strangely enough he had managed to avoid contact with her most of this enter time. “I’d like you to try to do one more thing. I never want to hear you refer to yourself as something instead of person.” Fiaria’s tone started off gentle, but became more stern. “You are not a thing. You’re a man, a living being and someone that I hold dear. So please don’t refer to yourself like that.” Even though the Katayan was lightly lecturing the assassin, she could take her own advice as well considering how she would sometimes refer to her own self using derogatory terms. Her hand reached out to him and she stroked his check. “Will you tell me more since we are going to try not to push each other away?” Fiaria spoke quietly, not sure if he would be willing to tell her more about his past. Their pasts had been something that was off limits up until now. They both knew little of what the other had done or been through before their first meeting. Her eyes fell from him, waiting. It was strange how she anticipated Ara'mis lashing out like he usually did yet he wasn’t this time. All because of what Rayne had done. |
The chunky female's heart raced and squeezed tightly at that gentle smile. The pain she felt in her chest was unbearable to the point she thought her heart would burst from it. Rayne did not know if it was hurting from sadness or the fact that she fell even more in love with man before her. She bite her lip, resting her forehead against his chest as she straddled his lap. Even more tears streamed down her face, while she sniffles and tried to compose herself.
"Yuuta.... she whispered his name in her soft gentle voice, looking up at him to search his violet eyes, briefly forgetting about avoiding his gaze. "tell me...if you met someone else that treated you the same as me....wouldn't you have started to like them? Aren't you just liking me because I am different from Raja....because I treat you better and accept you for who and what you are?" her voice started out strong but had gotten smaller with each passing word, her gaze lowering with her voice before she rested her forehead on his chest once more. Her hands bunched his shirt in her fists. "Because I see the future silly...." she half heartedly joke but it was clearly forced out as if she was choking on the words before she started to cry again. She heard his purring which caused her to secretly smile, she sighed as she began to relax against him. "I...i don't want visions anymore....I want to go back to being completely blind...." she mumbled, burying her face into him before huffing heavily, taking in his scent as her heart began to race. What was wrong with her? She drank to much that is it....that expliNs her flushed face the fact that even though she hated being touched she wasn't pulling a blade on him and threatening him with it. But maybe it also explianed why she was trying to accept his feelings and confess back to him all the while of pushing him away once more. "be honest.....how can I be honest when I have to lie, hide, conceal things from people that involve them? How can tell them their fate when if I do it could change it for the worse? No one wants to know how they die...the last thing people need to know is that I play a large part in their life." she turned her face to the side, closing her eyes as they were burning from the I shed tears that she refused to let trail down her face. She couldn't help but lean into the pawed hand that wiped the ones she had already shed from her face. "ah! If only I could tell you about Fiaria, Shiro and his father. Just know that I have tried several times to have wait Fiaria has....even just a little bit of it but it has always gone horribly wrong. So having it is something I have given up on many years ago." she laughed at her self but it was clear that it was a self harming laugh. She enjoyed having his large muscular arms wrapped around, even the rocking and the purring was slightly new to her and caused her heart to ache. "Yuuta... I..I like you too....but please save your heart from me......save your self from this stupid drunk seer. And and you can stay if not you would have been kicked out a while ago." her. Life was pleading, begging him to push her away like he was trying to do, but she knew it wasn't going to work, she saw that much from him just like she saw all the hurt that she was going to cause him. |
Their continued embrace forced Ara'mis to calm slightly, though this still felt unsettling. It was a while later when the assassin realized that Fiaria was no longer shaking. His embrace stayed just as tight as hers, though when he pulled away to look her over it felt odd to have held her so. Just for a moment, his breath hitched again. He'd embraced her, held her close without any particular reason other than responding to her. That was new.
“That’s all I ask is for you to try.” Ara'mis smiled grimly as Fiaria pointed out that she wasn't the only one who'd been trembling. He'd noticed. It frustrated him to feel so weak, to know that this was all it took to send him into a state that would cost him his life in battle. Should danger arise, Ara'mis knew he would fall. Is this what it would be like whenever Fiaria was around now? The thought sent a sharp sting of panic through him. Skies, it had better not be like this. His inspection of Fiaria finished. She was unharmed. He'd managed to keep his emotions centralized, and hadn't lashed out at her. That was ... well, surprising. Ara'mis looked slightly surprised, and he shook his head. "Trying won't involve huge shifts," he said quietly, forcing himself to calm further. It was difficult, but he managed to slowly stop his trembling. Mostly. A slight frown tugged at his brow as Fiaria began to speak again. Her reprimand and lecture were ... odd. It felt strange, like it wasn't real. “You are not a thing. You’re a man, a living being and someone that I hold dear." Ara'mis cleared his throat uncomfortably. Had it really bothered her so much? His reflective gaze was hesitant as he met her eyes, and he glanced down as though uncomfortable with being lectured. He obviously wasn't sure how to take it. "I ..." he let out a breath, looking as though he were fighting to say what Fiaria wanted him to. "That will take a while. We'll see if it changes." No promises here. Still ... it had been addressed. He blinked, startled when Fiaria's hand brushed over his cheek. Her question startled him most of all, though. At Fiaria's request, Ara'mis' expression immediately became more guarded. It wasn't as closed as it would have been, thanks to Rayne's pushing. Usually, the assassin would hiss at Fiaria and mention how silly it was to learn of one another. "You know better than-" He cut himself off harshly, biting his lip as though to shut himself up. Ara'mis looked more uncomfortable with each passing second, and he tensed as he looked away from Fiaria. Then, his gaze darted about about as though trying to recall something. It was less focused, and more flustered - as though he wasn't sure if he wanted to find a starting place. "No." No, he wouldn't talk about his past. He'd said too much already. Ara'mis felt a stab of frustration, and his chest tightened. He was doing it again. He was pushing her away. What held him back? Why did it matter if Fiaria knew of his past? He'd said he'd try, so he needed to do just that: try! "When I was younger," he slowly began to speak, so quietly it was hardly a whisper. "I lived with my mother. She raised my brother and I from infancy until we were to choose our house - our ... career. Our lives were not easy - though I didn't realize it then. When you're raised poor, you don't realize how horrible it is. You learn to overlook it." Or, a child did. But ... like all Sithe, he grew up too fast. A child of seven had the scars of an adult. That was how the Sithe worked. "A child overlooks the murders, the torturing, the trials. They don't notice the implications, even when they're thrown in their faces." Ara'mis seemed to find the right point to start on. From there, he looked tired, and complacent. The assassin sighed quietly, and pushed himself away from the wall and from Fiaria. He stepped weakly toward the chair, glancing at Fiaria as though unsure if he should ask her to follow or not. When he was seated, Ara'mis grimly continued. "I chose the assassin's house. They accepted children as young as seven, and trained them to adulthood to become the best killers and thieves one could ask for." Ara'mis looked mildly uncomfortable as he continued, growing more and more uneasy as the story progressed. "My brother, Baako, was trained before I was. He chose the assassin's house as well, and had been accepted into their ranks three years prior. The house leader sent him on missions to prove his skill, and it was seen as an offense that I joined the guild. Baako was furious, though I didn't see it at the time." It felt so odd to be speaking that name. Baako. He hadn't used the name for years. So many years. "The guild leader sent me on my first mission. To be accepted into the assassin's house, I needed to train. I was given my first target." There was a pause before Ara'mis looked down. His green eyes stayed locked on some distant point as he continued. "I was to kill my brother. Baako must have known." Another pause. "I acted like nothing was different. Knowing my brother was my target was ... odd. Like a cruel game. I followed him on his daily tasks, knowing that he hated having me underfoot. By the time I'd convinced myself that it was necessary to kill him, Baako had led us out to the lake. He was supposed to get water." There were more pauses now, as though the memories were harder to bring forth. These were some of the thoughts and memories that Ara'mis had shoved down so far, he felt his own horror rising as he recounted them for the first time. He'd never spoken of this before. It was difficult. "I don't remember how it started. I think I struck first. Baako was stronger than me, and his trained reflexes were too much for a child with no skill. He overwhelmed me. The first time I'd ever tried to stab someone, and he just flung me aside without a thought. I remember my own blade being used against me. There was pain. It was dark. It was cold." Ara'mis closed his eyes and rubbed his face wearily, and swallowed thickly before continuing. "I was bleeding, and knew I wouldn't get away. Baako was too strong. He held me down, and I couldn't breathe." His breath caught as though responding to the memory. He could see it as though it were happening. "I pulled a blade I'd kept hidden, and panicked. I didn't know I'd struck him until he let me go. I woke up on the shore hours later, my brother's corpse not far from me." That was as far as he could go. Ara'mis stared at the floor, his eyes locked on something in his memory. His hands were shaking again, and he looked suddenly very young. Very, very young. "I killed many people to become what I am." There was more to it than that, but ... that was all Ara'mis could say. He didn't look sad, nor regretful. There was something, though, that lingered. By now Fiaria could recognize it as the deep hatred that Ara'mis had been showing. |
The male let her shift in his lap so that she was now straddling him and resting her head against his chest. His eyes met hers as Rayne whispered his name. In her blue eyes laid the truth, but it didn’t frighten him. Yuuta shook his head and sighed. “Rayne. Dear sweet Rayne.” He rubbed her back gently. “Yes, I may have started to like them, think of them as a friend because they were different from Raja. With you it’s different Rayne.” Continuing to rub her back he felt a couple of tears trail down his own cheeks. “What I feel is more than just like. I want to know about you, to share your pain, to lighten your burden if I’m able.”
“That is only an excuse,” he joked in return. As Rayne started to cry again he pulled her closer. “Would you really feel different if you were completely blind instead?” The words were whispered. Still holding her close he rocked a bit more to comfort her. His purring stayed steady. He sighed softly as he listened to her. Of course he had been asking too much of her when he wanted her to be honest with him. It was true, he didn’t understand the weight that the seer carried on her shoulders. Even so he wanted to help her bear that burden if only she would let him. “You’re right and I’m sorry that I didn’t understand that.” The look on the Katayan’s face was kind and gentle. “You don’t need to tell me. If Fiaria wants me to know or be a part of their lives then she will tell me I’m sure. Though the way she is, is a bit frightening.” He gave a weak laugh. His sister had changed so much, he wasn’t sure how to handle her. “Even so I believe that you can have it, you just haven’t found the right person yet.” Yuuta continued to rock with her in his lap. At her words he gave her a weak smile before shaking his head again. “I’m glad to hear that. As for saving my heart or myself I’ll take my chances if you don’t mind. Nothing is ever easy. But I doubt you can’t hurt me worse than what I’ve already been hurt.” Pulling her close again he hugged her tightly. “Good, because you wouldn’t get rid of me that easily.” He gave her a big smile. Her pushing didn’t work and for now it wasn’t going to. The male Katayan had made up his mind to follow what his heart told him and right now it told him that he belonged by Rayne’s side whether she accepted his feelings or not. |
The fact that his embrace stayed just as tight as hers and that it lasted as long as it did helped to reassure Fiaria. It was odd to share this kind of moment with Ara’mis. This was so similar to when they were younger, but there was something different about it, though she wasn’t sure why.
“We can take things as slow as we need to.” Ara’mis had calmed further, but it seemed she was gaining his uneasiness. Though she hid it. His reactions were throwing her off. Even when she reprimanded him he reacted differently to her. It was all so new and strange. So this was the man beneath the mask, so different, so new. Change seemed like an easy thing, but it was scary. Fiaria gave him a small smile. “Alright, I suppose one thing at a time.” It was her next question that got a little more familiar reaction for the male. At first his words were what she expected. Her gaze turning from him the same time his turned from her. Of course he didn’t want to talk about it. He had never wanted her to know, though she didn’t know why other than their unspoken agreement which she had already broken when she fell for him a long time ago. Glancing at Ara’mis it was easy to see that the calmness he had gained from their embrace was fading away. When he stared to speak again, this time of his past, she blinked in confusion. Was this real? Quietly the woman listened to him. Her icy blue eyes on him, watching him. The assassin pausing to move and take a seat. When he looked to her she gave him a small nod as if encouraging him. The male continued his story as she listened, staying where she was near the wall. Fiaria took in everything, his words, and the flickers of emotion, how he seemed to be in a different time and place as he spoke. The man’s life had been so different from her own. He had been filled with hate from the very beginning unlike her who had spent half of her childhood happily with her family before tragedy struck causing her to be consumed by darkness and hate. There was no way she could imagine what he went through. To be a child so young and force to kill your own brother. At some point during his story she had moved across the room to stand by him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. It had to be so difficult for him to speak of these things. When Ara’mis finished she knelt in front of him, taking his shaking hands in hers. Her expression wasn’t one of sympathy, but there was hint of it within the mixture of emotions she wore. With this she understood a bit more about the deep hatred that Ara’mis carried inside. With a soft sigh she tried to look into his green eyes that were staring at the floor. Really she had no clue what to say or even do. Normally soft and gentle words of sympathy would be called for, but that isn’t what Ara’mis would want and she knew this. Also a hug or some other kind of gesture of caring or sympathy would follow from hearing such a story, but she feared pushing him away by doing such. Instead Fiaria just remained kneeling there in front of him holding his hands in hers. Silence filled the room around them. Despite her fears and second guessing Fiaria was content with things being like this at this moment. Nothing more needed to be said unless Ara’mis wanted to say more. |
Rayne searched his face before she hide her own heart shaped one again, her grip tightening before it fell lax. She loved those purple eyes of. His, they were mesmerizing but she could not let them drag her in until she let go and gave herself over to him. "How is it different?" her voice was tear filled, pleading, and almost desperate as if she was trying to cling to something that he was offering yet push it away.
"Yuuta.....I....if you did that....got to know me....shared in my burden....a bounty would be put on your head and Ara'mis will be paid to kill you and Lonan will collect that bounty." She let her words hang between them. Her hands soon fell into his lap as she gazed blankly at them. She heavier a heavy sigh, shifting. Which caused her chainmail to jingle with the movement. For some reason, today she wore a skirt and one of her armor tops along with the matching gauntlets, and knee high boots. Almost as if it was a way to tell people she was trying to protect herself from something. She even had most of her hair pulled back into a bun and pinned into place with metal feathers instead of the usual real feathers that littered her hair. "Probably not....but I would have never left Nieve if I was.....maybe I would have had my own family if I was blind and still lived there." she chuckled drily before she bit her lips, extreme sadness and fear crossed her features before she moved away from. Crawling out his lap and pulling away. She missed his warmth already, she missed being held and tucked safely away in his arms but she did not belong there. No her past actions did not warrant her a safe and happy future. She moved even further away from him, soon bumping into her bedroom door. She knew he could smell the fear, sadness and guilt on her that seem to grow stronger as her eyes flickered over her home. Looking anywhere but at Yuuta. "I...I am sorry. You need to...stop trying with me. Understand after what I have done.....you will all hate me." her words were choke with emotions, her hand gripped the door knob tightly while her blue eyes stared at the floor, more tears streaming down her face. "You see.....I am the reason your village was attacked. That your clan was basically wiped out. That you and Fiaria had to go through what you did." she said to him in a stronger voice, refusing to look at him. She took a deep breathe before flinging her door open, promptly closing it behind her. She sunk to the floor, she couldn't stand to see his face when she told him that and she could not bring herself to talk about it even more. She also knew that she had sounded as if she did not regret such a thing, that she did not feel negitivly about her actions. Oh but she did, she cried silently on her side of the door, reaching up to lock it before she moved past her packed bags to crawl into her bed. She planed to stay there until it was time for her to leave. |
Usually Ara'mis would have seen the uneasiness building within Fiaria. Usually he picked up on her subtle shifts and responses - the assassin couldn't see them. Not then. Not so soon after being so emotionally compromised. Ara'mis wasn't sure what to do. His reactions felt wrong, felt ... different. This is what he'd hidden for so long, he could hardly remember what he was beneath the mask. He'd grown so used to reacting with lies that when they left him Ara'mis felt as though he had no reason to make any choices or speak any words.
It was so strange to look back at Fiaria and see her nod of encouragement. Honestly, he might have needed it. It was weird for "honesty" to slip into how he perceived actions. Is that what she was doing? Being honest? She'd said so. But that meant trusting her to see that she was honest. The honesty could be a lie. After all, the best trust is gained when you "speak honestly." Ara'mis blinked and tried to stop thinking about it. He was trying to recreate the mask, to bring his defenses up. It hurt to do so. Every time he started to, a flash of his true self would enter his mind. All thanks to Rayne.... Ara'mis hadn't noticed the hand on his shoulder until he was finished speaking. The assassin's brow furrowed, as though he was confused by her comforting. He could do nothing but watch as Fiaria knelt before him, taking his hands in hers. Ara'mis didn't lift his gaze, dreading the pity and sorrow he'd see in those blue eyes of hers. It was many minutes before his hands stopped shaking. Ara'mis wasn't sure what he'd expected, but Fiaria's slow movement was ... calming. She didn't try to overwhelm him with actions that would have immediately pushed him back to the dread and fear he'd been feeling, nor did she try to speak. Slowly, his gaze lifted. He wanted to know what was in her eyes. When he did, the mixture of emotions looking back at him made the male frown again. She wasn't full of pity, though there was sympathy in her gaze. Fiaria was looking at him calmly, and for a moment Ara'mis could do nothing other than keep his eyes on her. He felt strangely ... unreal now that he'd told Fiaria a piece of his childhood, as though giving her a piece of his past had made their sudden "relationship" more solid. He wasn't sure what to think about that. "And here I was just curious as to where you were. I should have picked another day." The words were soft, and dripped of sarcasm. Still, there was something there in Ara'mis' expression. He relaxed further, leaning down to press his forehead against Fiaria's. Is this what it feels like to trust? To let your guard down? The assassin let his thoughts linger on that. Do I trust her? Is that what I'm doing? |
Yuuta hugged her again. The sadness within Rayne’s voice caused his chest to tighten and his heart to ache. “It’s different because I’ve never felt this way before.” He was trying hard, but it hurt that she kept torturing herself by pushing him away.
The male stayed silent, letting her words sink in. Did that matter as long as he could stay with the seer until the end? “I don’t care. If it helps you, if I can be with you. It doesn’t matter. That’s only one possible future.” The Katayan let the woman shift as he watched her. After a few moments his gaze lowered. He was pushing too hard and he knew it. “Maybe.” But then we never would have met, he thought to himself. Yuuta’s indigo eyes returned to Rayne as she pulled away. He didn’t try to stop her from crawling out of his lap, his arms just lightly slide from around her slender waist. As soon as she left his lap he started to feel cold and alone again. That’s all there was in his future because he was such a coward. There was no reason for the woman to want him, he hadn’t changed much at all since he came here. His eyes followed the woman as she backed into her bedroom door. Slowly he rose to his feet, reaching out to her. “Why…it’s my life, I can make my own decisions whether they are right or wrong.” The man’s voice was pleading like the look within his eyes and filled with sadness. He was fighting the tears he felt coming. “I could never….” His words were cut off as Rayne continued to speak. The Katayan froze where he stood, his hand falling to his side. She had been the reason the humans came? That was so long ago, he hardly remembered what happened that day other than screaming and blood staining the ground crimson. There was so much blood. “What…” It was the only thing he could find to say. Feeling as though his legs were about to buckle beneath him he reached back for the chair and sat down. His expression was blank. The male didn’t know what to think. Yuuta didn’t chase after the seer, his mind was spinning. Long forgotten memories rushing back to him. The tears that threatened to escape earlier now flowed freely. His body shook as he sat there feeling as though he couldn’t breathe. Again he was trapped within the nightmare that haunted him. The snow cover ground stained crimson. His mother crying out for Baltus to get him out of the village. Fiaria was arguing with their father about staying and fighting while Alemi tried to get her to come with him. Maiara nowhere in sight, probably escaping with Lilith. The next thing he knew Baltus had a hold of him and off they went. Much of what happened after that was a blur. At one point not far out of the village they were attack, both of them being wounded. Baltus badly, but he pushed forward. |
Time slowly ticked by as the silence surrounded them. When Ara’mis’ hands stopped shaking a small smile slipped onto her lips, but it soon faded when he frowned after meeting her gaze. Is he unhappy with me? Is this such a terrible thing? No, she needed to stop over thinking and let things take their course. Fiaria stayed calm, breathing slowly. It was strange to finally know something about the man’s past. Their “relationship” starting to feel a little more real.
Fiaria remained silent while they stared at each other. It was Ara’mis who finally broke the long silence between them. The words were somewhat expected. They caused her to quirk a smile, shaking her head lightly. There was something in his expression, something she couldn’t quite make out. When Ara’mis leaned down and rested his forehead against hers she closed her eyes. “Even so, I’m glad you picked today.” Again the silence returned between them. Am I just fooling myself? Does he even believe me or trust me? No, he wouldn’t trust so easily. Those were among the many thoughts that ran through her mind. Lightly she squeezed his hands within hers. “Since you were curious as to where I was I’ll tell you. I was where no one would find me, not even you Ara. At least not without coming to the seer.” The woman seemed to grow a little distant as she spoke about having been somewhere no one would find her. Yes, she had been in the frozen mountains where her home once was. Where all that stood were ruins of a hidden and forgotten clan. A place that haunted her memories and yet she had been able to find some peace and face herself. In some ways while she had spent the past month on Mount Kuede she had hoped that Ara’mis would come find her. Though in actuality if she had never promised Shiro to be back here within a month she would still be living within the cavern she had come to call home. Pulling herself from her thoughts Fiaria gently rubbed her nose against his. “Did the fact that I was missing worry you? If it did I’m sorry…it’s just that…” She stopped herself, did she really want to admit that Rayne had gotten to her, similar to how she had gotten to him? Forcing her to face her true self instead of the lies she had built to protect herself, to protect Ara'mis and to protect their son. |
His head still rested against Fiaria's. The assassin huffed a quiet breath at her statement. "I wouldn't say I'm happy with the day I chose, but ..." Ara'mis' words trailed off, as though he wasn't sure how to lie, but wasn't willing to speak the truth. Perhaps he was pleased with this turn of events, even with the pain. Honestly, Ara'mis was torn between hating it and being relieved it had happened this way.
His gaze lingered on Fiaria as she spoke, and his curiosity was blatant. Usually it wasn't so obvious. Granted, with Rayne's influence.... The assassin tilted his head slightly at the mention of not being able to find Fiaria without coming to Rayne. She must have been somewhere distant. "Where?" Ara'mis blinked when Fiaria rubbed her nose against his, and slowly pulled one of his hands away to brush the feeling from him. "I was ... curious." And worried. Fine. Worried. His following statement was muttered. "Yes." Fiaria looked distant suddenly. Ara'mis pulled his gaze from her and gazed down at his hands. Smiling grimly, he flexed his fingers. It had taken so much energy to go through a few simple recollections. How would they handle future events? Hell, did this mean they were ... together? What was going on? Ara'mis let his reflective eyes shoot up to Fiaria, the questions blatant on his face. "What ... are we?" Friends? Allies? No term seemed adequate enough, and Ara'mis had a bad link to each term that came to mind. |
She let his thought trail off. Fiaria could only imagine how confused he felt and how much pain he was in because of what Rayne had done. Rayne had done something similar with her and it hurt to finally face the truth she had buried inside. The process had been slower with her since it happened over a few visits instead of one. In her mind she reminded herself to take it slow and not pressure Ara'mis too much. Her statement had been the truth though, she was glad he picked today because if it had been later she might not have able to face the man like this.
His curiosity was almost written within his green eyes as he looked at her. It was strange for him to be so blatantly curious. “Where,” Fiaria repeated his words. Again she grew somewhat distant. It looked like it was nearly her turn to share a piece of her past. “I was far away. Almost a week’s journey from this place…For the first time in seventeen years I returned home to Borania. Well what is left it.” There was a hint of sadness in her voice as she spoke of her homeland. Her attention returned to Ara’mis and she gave him a smile. A light chuckle coming from her as he wiped his nose. The smile she wore grew when he muttered ‘Yes’. Was this really Ara’mis? The man she had known for nearly ten years. “Sorry,” the woman whispered. When his green orbs rose to meet her icy blue ones once again she was surprised. Fiaria blinked at his question. What…are we? Friends? Lovers? Companions? Fiaria searched for an answer, but every term that came to mind didn’t seem to fit. “We are…I’m not sure.” Briefly her gaze fell from him. She wasn’t sure what they were. They both seemed to accept the feelings they shared. They had ‘known’ each other for almost ten years, but without really knowing each other. They had had their lover moments and they did have a child, but they were nothing more than a broken family at best. Was she bond to Ara’mis now and he to her? So many new questions flooded Fiaria’s mind. “We are whatever we want us to be.” This was the best answer she could give Ara’mis once her eye returned to his. At some point she hoped they could possibly be a family, but Fiaria doubted greatly that a selfish wish like that would ever come true. “Mates maybe would be a good term?” Her words were soft and quiet, like she wasn’t sure of how Ara'mis would react to that term. |
Rayne groaned as she rubbed her face, clinching as the scale like gauntlets cut her cheek. She held on side of her head as she made her way to her door. At some point she had fallen a sleep, she did not know how long she been out and she vaguely remembered what happened, praying that it was just a dream. The pounding in her head told her other wise. She flinched when the door was unmatched, wincing as it groaned open. she almost cried as the pounding in her head worsen with each sound, each movement she made towards the kitchen so that she could remedy her pain. Her eyes scanned her home, not spotting a single soul, living or dead, in sight. Her cheek stung a bit as it bleed, but it was easily ignored as her hangover made it self known even more as she rummaged in her kitchen for the proper ingredients.
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