Flat Despair [Leona and Hilf]
 

A small figure lay curled up in the corner of a dark room, whimpering amongst the shadows. The voice sounded androgynous, too high to be quite male, yet too husky to be quite feminine. So it laid in between, an odd yet precariously balanced voice only sounding pleasant when spoken softer. Yet the sobs came out unbalanced, often too high or too grumbly to fit the same person. The only way to recognize who was there, for it was so dark, was by the sounds.

If one drew closer in the suspicious area, and allowed their eyes to adjust, they'd see a skinny teenager, looking just as asexual as its voice. Though, there was something strange about this person that was strange, other than its lack of gender. Two ears, as pale as the person's skin, jutted from the top of her hair, with dark spots as black as the blackness around her. A tail of similar color curled over the teenager's feet, trembling with the effort of being silent. The woman's, for the person seemed somewhat feminine, let out an occasional squeal while crying.

Really, the corner was the farthest place down she could find, in a subterranean city under Florence, Italy. The strange-limbed lady was hiding, feeling much like a monster as she looked, and not wishing to bring such horrors to others. And, because of that, had fled Canada as well, leaving behind several things and people. Truly, the woman was only in her late teens, feeling much out of a place in a country she knew nothing about. Nor Thes, the snow leopard-eared woman, had once heard of abandoned cities under the residing ones and, after asking around, heard the one under Florence was one of the largest. And thus, lost herself here, condemned to die.

The only thing to eat was rats, and hunting as a leopard did help, though it let loose a side Nor did not feel should be there at all. Emotionally torn between creature and human, while shifting, she had become stuck that way as well. And so now, still at bitter ends with herself, sat starving. There was an aquifer not far from her base, where she slept and made familiar with, so water was never once a problem. However, rats learned to stray from her traps, memorized the woman's scent that was so repulsively similar to both man and predator.

With a final tear in her heart, Nor let out a wail much like a banshee. It echoed throughout the caverns and broken halls, bringing even the underground critters to pause and feel remorseful pity. The cry was strange, though, human enough with the superimposed voice of a large cat. And then, too abruptly, cut off as Nor grew desolate in her numbing shock. 'Have I really chosen this life so soon to end...?' she thought, gently rocking forward and back. Her legs were curled to her chest, face buried against her poorly covered legs. The woman's uneven hair was disheveled and clumped, her breathing labored and scratchy from both illness and unused.

Something like a soft moan escaped Nor when she felt the pain through her numbness, and then buried that away too. Soon, she grew still and quiet, comforted in the nothingness that brought her ease. And, muscle by stiff muscle, fell asleep not moments after her loud shriek of self mental torture.

"La doo be doo be doo.... la dooo la doo be aaaay, of what a wonderful world what a wonderful daaaay! Got the streets all to myself, chachacha! Got the world all to my self, chachacha! Oh what a wonderful, glorious, trippy daaaaay!" The singer did a little spin in the middle of the street, before a light sommersault as well. After this, he started to hum, quite oblivious to the world around him apparently.

Or for that matter, perhaps even to himself for that matter. His brown hair was long and all over the place, but one could see he had attempted to put it into place by typing it loosely with a shoelace in the back. Or... was his hair brown? Patches of blond seemed to show through as streaks, so it was hard to tell. His eyes were light blue, and had a pair of broken specs in front of them. Glasses that seemed Frankensteined together from two pairs, a lot of tape, wires... and who knew what else.

His clothing was much the same. Stitched togetehr from various patterns and fabrics, he showed everything from corduroy to polka-dots in his jacket. This was paired with a pair of slacks that had so many patches one could barely tell they were originally khaki in color. His shoes were well, in a former life one might suppose they had been rather nice brown loafers. but now they were more like sandals than anything else. Over his shoulder he had slung a bag, as patched up as his pants.

"Numa numa yay! Numa numa yay! Numa numa numa yay!" He sang then, his head going from side to side as he did so. At every yay he held up his hands, causing a few rats to scatter. He laughed as they did. "Oh silly rats! Come on, sing with meee!" he would tell them, but of course they never did. Rude little creatures. That was why he didn't mind really eating them. But he preferred eating the other things he would forage. It was clear that wasn't much however from his very lanky build.

That was when he heard it... was it a whimpering. No... more like a sobbing? Hold up, wait, how long had it been since he heard a voice at all under here? So many people here took to silence, and desperation. It was then he heard a shriek.

"CRIPES!" he shouted, as he hurried his steps towards the sound. Human and... something else? Did it matter? No way! He sped up, before finding his quarry. It was a... girl. Yeah... bout his age. A girl with... he blinked. Feline ears? Haha, spiffy! Sure didn't see things like this everyday! But she seemed so much in pain...

Digging through his bag a moment, he pulled out a blanket that very much resembled his blanket, and gently lied it over her. "There, much better," he said with a grin. He then sat down himself, yawning. A nap did sound really good right now actually, but he stopped himself. Instead, he started digging through his bag. Ah, he had to have soemthing edible left in there. Where was that blasted jerky again! Oh the rats better not have eaten it again!

He grinned, finally finding it and pulling it out to offer when she woke up. He liked it when new people wandered down here, although they didn't like him very much usually. Oh well, thats how it was! Still, never hurt to try!

He smiled a slight then, digging in his back again before pulling out a small teddy bear. "You'd probably like to meet her too, huh Ruxby?" he asked the bear, giving it a tight hug. The bear was missing much of its fur, and had its eyes restitched several times, plus was missing a limb. But it did have something that its companion did not. It had a name.

(Well that turned out interesting o.o))

((Why does Nor always get the crazy ones? xD))

Nor wasn't so much asleep as catatonic. She laid with her eyes closed, body quivering from trying to hold herself so still. A voice came, that reminded her so much... No! She couldn't remember! It would weaken her, it would allow her pain in. The woman stifled a groan, pretending to have nightmares, and clenched her eyes shut. Hopefully he'd go away! She huddled under the blanket, finding it actually warm in the normal chilly dampness. It made her sigh once or twice, smelling nice. Sort of like nutmeg, but spicier.

It seemed, after several hours, that this new person wasn't sinking away. So, sniffing to make sure he was at least partially asleep, Nor slid from under the blanket. Her senses were so acute, and her body so silent even while deprived, it sounded only as if the shadows had whispered before Nor was upon the other side of the room. Now, standing upright, it seemed that she wasn't quite as human at first glance. Her skin was white as snow, soft gray spots filling the edges, and her hair had even begun to grow much the same at the roots. She was stuck halfway in between, and couldn't find a way out. Her major joints had fur sprouting from her skin, downy and soft like a cub's. Wide, brilliantly dark amber eyes stared at the patchwork man from her safe position.

The half-human creature slunk about the corner on all fours, pacing it seemed. Her footfalls were soft, as soundless as snow falling, but claw-like nail bit against the stone ground like angry teeth wishing for food. Her actual teeth were sharp, unnaturally so, as if she had filed them, with long canines almost piercing her lips. The pacing Nor seemed to be arguing with herself, head occasionally snapping back and forth in a violent shake, as if trying to dislodge something from her head, and growls rumbled in her chest. It seemed she was more feral than a human, yet had a humans intelligence.

There was no doubt her pacing had woken the patchwork man -Nor decided to call him Scarecrow- so she fell into sitting again. Her eyes caught the faintest stray lights, and glowed even in this absolute darkness. It was definitely disturbing, having two glowing amber eyes watching you so intently. She was so tired, her limbs ached and cried with every effort, and her stomach was past growling for food, instead sending mind-numbingly sharp streaks of pain out. "Leave..." Nor growled, having to cough at the unfamiliar use of her throat. This time, she spoke louder, but with perhaps even more of an edge, "Leave!"

She was nothing but a monster, a beast, with no soul to be salvaged. She deserved no one, nothing but darkness. Nor did not want a stranger's kindness, or even the remembrance of watching the sun rise for the last time. She deserved nothing, not even the water she drank and the food her body strive for. It had been a month, and at her best she only had two more. Two more, before her soul fell either into fleeting blackness, to be forgotten. That was the nice ending, the painless one she had no right to. The other one was to be burned eternally, much as she did earn. Nor couldn't even ask for mercy.

((It wasn't intentional I assure ya! *laughs* I was just as dumbfounded as you :P I believe my exact words were WTF man?))

Of course, the man was awake by now, he had very sharp hearing. One had to around here, to survive.

"Right right, like I'm gonna do that?" the man asked as he followed her with a jovial grin. "Come on, what reason do I have to go?" he asked, and it was clear he meant his question. When she sat down he sat down beside her, his cheerful smile never leaving.

"Besides, you look like you could use the company. I know, I know. I don't want company, I don't deserve company, I'm not good enough for company... I've heard all the excuses," he explained, shaking his head. He laughed softly then, propping his elbows upon his knees. "You can say any of these, maybe a new one I haven't heard yet. But I'm not going anywhere yet. You haven't given me a good reason to," he added. Ruxby was propped onto his shoulder now, much like a pirate's parrot might be.

"Oh! Right!" he added to himself, before digging into his pocket again and producing the aforementioned stick of jerky. "Here, I made too much and you're welcome to one. Not a nibble on it even. I know it ain't like real meat but, it goes down easy. Promise!" he added with a wink.

He glanced towards Ruxby then, as though the two were exchanging a quiet word. Really, the man was worried. This girl was in a... cataclysmic state. So many people wandered down here like this, never to see daylight again and just... they came down here to die. The man always found this rather sad really, and thus would he seek them out and stick around.

Besides, even if they remained lost... someone had to stay behind to assure they rested in peace. But he tried his hardest not to let that happen, he really did.

Nor had jumped to her feet when he sat beside her, but was washed over with dizziness, and grudgingly sat once more. The smell of meat, even salted and dried as the jerky was, made her mouth water and the woman napped it, gently nippling at the edges. Savoring the flavor of real food in her mouth, not wishing it to upset her stomach. It was better than anything she could remember, closing her eyes to suck off the salt.

When he said he wouldn't leave, she gave a half-hearted growl behind the jerky, this time raising and taking a step back to hunch over. Her eyes glistened and it seemed for a moment she truly was a snow leopard, but remained in the halfway state. "I'm a monster," Nor growled, half her mouth clenched around her food. "I'm neither man nor beast, hunted by both and wanted by them. I am cursed, without a soul and damned to recover it. Poison coursed through my veins and if it enters your own, it'll turn you into such a beast as I am, so as to never to return your humanity. In spite, my greed tells me to do so, my hatred and shattered pride urge me to simply tear my fangs into your shoulder and get it over.

"Yet the painful loss of my friends and those who have driven me from my beautiful, wintry home remind me I still walk alive. I am not in Hell yet, if it exists for me, and so I have a side of remorse, pity for myself. Such, I'd never wish this torment and suffering for any others, even those as annoying as yourself." It was perhaps the longest speech Nor had said in months, and the rust on her voice quickly wore off. Afterwards, the contented were-leopard sat upon the subterranean floor and continued happily nippling on her jerky. It seemed, for a brief flash of time, she smiled at food. It'd be so long since the rats learned how to evade her...

"It doesn't matter what a monster deserves or doesn't, it matters instead whether it should taint the air of the innocent, or if it should be merciful to others. I am no martyr, but neither am I a tyrant," Nor added, speaking mainly to herself. She swung her arm behind her back, bringing forth a canteen that was filled with water of the aquifer, and drank from it, her stomach plenty full from the inch or so she'd eaten. The rest was put away for another grand meal at a later time.

Scarecrow now had an odd stuffed bear on his shoulder. It reminded Nor of her own soft spot to fuzzy little store-bought animals, and she inched forward with curiosity. Her fingers opened, reaching up from where she sat several feet away. Of course, Nor couldn't reach the bear, and she dropped her hand after realizing what had happened. "I thought it was just myself and the rats. What brings such a Scarecrow down under Florence?" One ear was still flattened to her hair, the other slightly perked, showing some interest. Her tail, however, still remained tightly hugged towards her, as if she were frightened.

Nor's hardened expression when given Ruxby. She cradled the bear gently to her chest, sighing and pressing her nose to his worn fur. "Most bears and rabbits do. I find cats and dogs don't mind their ears being chewed on, though," the were-leopard whispered, and with her eyes off him now both ears perked up, listening. He liked her nickname, and if Nor hadn't been so carefully numbed, her hole would throb painfully when it should truly swell with pride. The woman gently rubbed Ruxby's belly curling around the soft animal, feeling its small warmth in her limbs as she did so.

The strange woman was silent while he spoke. One ear was trained on him, however, and occasionally her eyes would flash to his face, all signs she was listening. When asked about her, the woman shook her head softly. "Nor Thes, that's my name. I'm nineteen years old, and was born in the states. My family moved to Canada when I was young though, so I don't remember them much. I speak a bit of French, though most of it I've forgotten," she informed, carefully winding past the areas she knew would hurt to talk about. Carefully, as she led her auto-biography, she uncurled from around Ruxby and returned the bear, flashing him her sharp teeth as thanks. "I am partial to soft, warm things, especially when they're small and in the shape of animals. I also like a certain type of breakfast pastry called Pop-Tarts."

Here came the tricky stuff. Nor took a deep breath to talk about it, but her gut heaved in the mental effort. She made a strange choking sound, and immediately threw her face to her knees that had been brought to her chest. Her arms wrapped protectively around her torso, as if her chest was falling out. It took a couple minutes of gasping, and Nor had fallen to her side, but eventually her arms released herself, and Nor sat back up. Without a word, the woman stood wobbly and stunted her way to the center of the room. There, it was charred and black, where Nor struck against the stone with flint, lighting some well-used firewood. The were-leopard turned to gaze at him with her amber -now gold in the light- eyes, as if wondering why he hadn't followed.

"So, Scarecrow, do you have a name? Or was I not off the mark?" she grumbled, half-heartedly making conversation. An arm still clutched her chest, like trying to squeeze something back into a tender area. Idly, she prodded the unlit portion of the wood, which had once been a chair. Her feet were bare, and in bad shape, with the long nails broken off at odd angles, and her soles bearing several infectious cuts.

Upon the dirt on the floor, Nor drew first Europe, with Iceland and the many isles in between, before drawing North and South America. Above when the North Pole, and down below Antarctica. On the other side of Europe was Asia and Africa and Australia. When her world map was done, she pointed to a rough spot in Europe, near Russia. "This is us," dragging the extremely fine claw-like fingernail, she brought it to where the estimated point of her hometown was, "this is where I was." Nor then edged out the country of Canada, and labeled it, "This is the country it was within. We were on entirely different continents."

"Where I was in Canada it was cold a lot. It rained most of the year, and there was lots of snow during the winter. Snow is like white cotton balls that fall from the sky, and layer the ground in sheets of white. Its like walking on icy snow, and is beautiful. Everything it touches is transformed..." Nor murmured, her eyes far off, watching a white Christmas somewhere. "During the hottest summers, though, it's really green. There's nothing not covered in it, the rolling hills and trees as tall as the sky. When you walk under them, you sometimes wonder what time of day it is... And the cities aren't that big, but big enough for me. They're pleasant, with mostly pleasant people." Nor sighed wistfully, still holding to her gut and then looked to Scarecrow with a solemn expression.

"Pop-tarts are an icing-covered pastry with artificial fruit paste on the inside," Nor explained. "They're not meant to be eaten all at once, so they're stored in shiny silver packages that crumble and crackle like the fire when you touch them. I think they're the best thing on earth, but a lot of people would disagree. It's a love-hate sort of thing..." She trailed off again, though not after hearing her own tone. It almost sounded friendly, before fell back into the carefully guarded expression again. This had to make one wonder what, exactly, she'd been like up top, before this whole fiasco.

"I'm not really a singer... I think I'll just go to sleep..." she said with a yawn. Then, laid on her side, making a makeshift pillow with one arm. The other still clutched her shirt, just above her heart, as if it throbbed painfully. No, really, it felt so incredibly vacant. Like a hole was there, and the raw edges pulsed blood out where blood shouldn't be, stinging with its salt and iron.

While Nor slept, her exhaustion and starvation mentally caught up, causing her into a quick slumber. During which, the woman dreamed she was in snow everything was so perfectly white. But, upon looking for the sky, instead saw the under city's curved ceiling. Looking at the snow again, it became ashen gray and dark. Suddenly, she was stumbling through darkness, the narrow alleys hitting her arms as she blindly tried to walk straight. The snow underfoot crunched upon her bare toes, freezing them. Ahead, Nor could hear a crackle of fire, and the friendly voices she'd left along with a new one.

Yet, when it seemed Nor had reached the warmth, she pressed open a solid iron door -or was that wood?- to find nothing kind inside. A raging inferno roared, the calling and welcoming voices now screams of torture. Hell. Nor tried to turn and escape, back to the barren black world with soft silver snow. However, the fire caught her, and burnt her vision in red. Nor could feel the tendrils of flames wrapping her skin, turning it into blackened leather. Melting her hair, singing her clothes...


The woman awoke with a gasp, eyes staring wide. From the light she could tell the fire had gone down lower, yet wasn't coals yet. That meant it'd been some hours... Four, if she assumed what's his name? Crow? oh, Scarecrow had rekindled. Sitting up, Nor found the blanket about her again and stared at it oddly. Her chest felt better, yet the stomach was still empty. Pulling the jerky from her pocket, Nor began nibbling. She stared into the fire, wondering why Hell had been so scary in her dream. At least that had meant she'd had a soul... Why would a place she'd accepted into her still hold so much crazy fear? It was sickening.

Not even looking for Crow, for Nor knew he'd be there, she continued burning the image of the fire into her mind. Her emptiness was sagging, it felt like healing now. Now in this time of lonely -well... not completely lonely- emptiness, Nor could feel it beginning to stitch. She'd done the right thing, helping those keep clean from monsters such as herself. "Hey, Scare," she murmured, not even looking up yet. "Hey Ruxby."

Nor heard his footfalls, and turned to see what he was doing. When she was met with the soft brown bear, a sharp intake could be heard, almost like a muffled gasp. A hand hesitantly reached up, taking the bear gently by the side and lowering him to eye-level. "Mine..." Nor said in wonder, tilting her head and sniffing the bear. He even smelt nice. The were-leopard's mouth twitched into a smile and, still within dreamy delight, nodded at Scarecrow's words. "I will name him," she assured before adding, "Thank you. So much."

When he said he had to go, she merely nodded and held the bear to her, face buried in its fur. It felt like a bear should, soft and warmth, as if it had its own pulse. No, not it... He. "Russ," she decided. Ruxby's brother would be named Russ. "It suits you." From her neck Nor took a small patch of cloth, tying it into a bow tie around the bear's neck and grinning. Russ.

While Nor waited, she laid back onto the blanket, Russ under her chin, still nibbling on the jerky. Her thoughts began wandering, back to her dreams. Snow, tunnels, and Hell. It was easy to see how her mind had gotten everything, but the kind voices? Was that an omen? Was Scarecrow perhaps an enemy, disguised as a friend, or perhaps it was the opposite? Nor rolled to her side, still holding Russ and chewing on the food. "I wonder what he went to get..."

Nor could hear his coughing, not the normal kind. Not the sort that was like if one had a cold, but a truly sick cough. Too much air, then too much liquid, not enough of what a cough should be. Nor was no doctor, much as she wanted to once be a nurse, but she knew what coughing sounded like well enough. Both her parents had lung cancer, and so did her baby brother. When he came back, her ears were perked, nose flared, and eyes narrowed. Russ was over her mouth to hide the grim frown, and so it took her a moment to speak.

"If I get any more food, I'll be sick. My stomach can't handle that," Nor said, turning on her side to stare at the small flames. The question burned into her mind, why was he sick... What did he have? "Russ. I named him Russ, like my baby brother," she said, all too quickly. Nor pressed her face, now too warm, against the cooler stone bricks that consisted of the floor. Fire, like Hell... Smoke that made you cough blood. Hell. This was it.

Nor was to her feet, a dizzying rush surging to her head and infected feet wobbling under her. The woman swayed, then righted herself, staring towards the halls. She'd no idea what she was doing, only that the sudden realization of where she was, where she'd brought herself, had come to mind. Over her face was Russ, pressed tightly so that the air was being sucked through his fur. Nor's fur stood on end, and a rumble vibrated in her chest. This is what she'd deserved, yes, yet suddenly the place was unappealing.

"There is in hell a place stone-built throughout, Called Malebolge, of an iron hue, Like to the wall that circles it about," Nor quoted, staring at the circular walls. She sat back down, feeling as if her chest was finally caving in. Odd ripping sounds were coming from somewhere, and the world abruptly tilted at an odd angle. When Nor felt stone hit her head too roughly, she realized the ripping sounds came from her, the growl in her chest seizing into a sort of pitiful whine.