As soon as he was alone for a moment Logan breathed in quickly, combating the desire to actually cry. He thought all those imperfections were his own blunders---his own mistakes because of a shaky hand or untested pencil stroke he'd attempted for the first time. He could only see those imperfections as his own and had nothing to do with Amethyst. Maybe because Logan thought he was perfect anyway. He didn't need to be edited into a new skin---if they'd wanted to do that, why even have human models? It felt stupid to put Amethyst on the spot like that, though, say all of it as if he were expecting it. Maybe it would put more distance between them than what had already been created by time and distance...

When he returned Logan gave a genuine smile. "I'm glad you loved it enough to keep it all these years---and where you could see it every day." What did that mean, then? Amethyst keeping something so long. And the shells, though he'd just gotten rid of them that evening. Such a symbolic way of getting rid of them, too, throwing them into the sea. Like an attempt to break a connection that he'd tried so hard to keep intact. Then something came to him---a passing thought a couple years ago, but now he was more curious. "Ami... Were you really called off to France back then?" He found it odd that he'd heard nothing of Amethyst being there around that time, now that he was able to put a bit of thought into it.

"I... um..." Amethyst was blushing again, looking about his apartment as though searching for a way out. He had no way. No way to tell his old friend that he had lied, without saying why he had lied. He couldn't bear it much longer. He gave out a loud sob and dove at Logan, hugging the man around his shoulders. "Logan I... I'm sorry I am such a horrible person," he cried, nuzzling Logan and breathing in his closeness. They had hugged before, but had never been this close.

"Logan... I... I couldn't take it anymore. How happy you were... It hurt me so much... All these years... I... Could never say... Could never tell you... That I... L... I lo... I really like you... I was too afraid, so I lied. I didn't want you to have that hanging off you. Having a friend with a homosexual crush on you... It would have been so... Terrible for someone starting a new life with their wife!" Somehow he couldn't stop. It felt so good to tell him, finally after all these years of pent up frustration. He sniffed and looked into Logan's eyes.

"I... fell in love with you when we first met. You were so kind to the new boy in school, and you were my neighbour. We played together a lot and our families grew really close... I wanted to ask you out for so long, but I was always afraid... That you'd laugh at me or say no.... And then when I built up the courage to finally tell you..."

He closed his eyes, feeling pain as he remembered that night. He was about to tell Logan that he loved him when his friend beamed and showed him the wedding ring. "You got married... To a woman. You'd never love me the way I loved you... I had to lie... Because it hurt so much..."

Panting slightly, he retreated, sitting on one of his expensive leather couches and covering his face in shame as he sobbed more. "I tried to forget you, but I couldn't. I bought luxury, hoping it would make me happy, but it didn't. I slept with other men to help me forget, but it didn't work. I could only ever think about you..."

Logan felt dazed, completely shocked. No, he hadn't understood up until then what Amethyst had dealt with. He'd felt himself to be no more than a friend to any manner of speaking. When he'd befriended a thirteen-year-old new kid in school, he thought he was doing a kindness and hadn't really thought much of it at the time. And then they'd become inseparable. And over time Logan had come to realize how gorgeous Amethyst was, and didn't feel it progressive to their friendship to admit that. Until he'd given him the shells. Less of a friendship gesture and more of a slight... hope. Until Millie had arrived. She was so lovely, a sweet girl, Logan had become entranced. It hadn't lasted as long as he'd thought it would. As long as it had hoped. Perhaps he was to blame for all of their sorrows.

"Ami." He followed the young man, kneeling in front of him. "For... a long time. I worked on promotional ads and fliers for you. For the agency that had you under contract. I won't say it crushed what Millie and I had because it didn't, but... I have a feeling it knocked me into... thinking straight. That I was so caught up in the past I was taking desperate measures to... escape it, I guess. I intentionally asked to be transferred here, so I could find you again, Amethyst."

He didn't like admitting this so soon. It made him feel desperate, but Amethyst had spilled everything in a second and told him things that Logan didn't think he'd admitted to anyone. He put his hands over Amethyst's. "I'm... so sorry I hurt you as much as I have. I hope you'll let me make that up to you somehow. If you'll let me." Maybe Amethyst was trying to move on now. Trying to get into life as he was, without Logan. And he had come running in blindly and busting everything up.

"It's not..." Amethyst sniffed again, rubbing his eyes onto his bandaged hand and looking into Logan's eyes. "It isn't your fault." He gulped at his friend's words. He could think of many things that would make him happy, but he could never force Logan into a relationship, just for his own happiness. "No... My fault for loving someone who can't love me back... The way I dreamed he would..." He stood again and went back to the bar, nervously finding his empty glass and trying to open the bottle of gin. How many times had he drowned away the hurt, the pain?

It disturbed him slightly to think that Logan was the person behind most of his ads and posters. Had he been the reason Logan's marriage broke up? Did Millie suspect something? Amethyst had never done anything in the nude, but some of his work was suggestive. Sex sells, after all.

Logan paused before standing up. Amethyst sounded so broken up. Of course he hadn't started getting over what Logan had done to him. He couldn't feel it wasn't his fault, when it most definitely was. Of course it was, one couldn't just override their feelings. How they felt toward another. He forced himself up and followed Amethyst, setting the half-gone bottle back where the young man had taken it up from and grasping both hands in his and leaning forward, kissing Amethyst before he could ask what Logan was doing. It felt like some bridge were closing after construction had been put on hold for years, but he desperately hoped Amethyst wouldn't hate him for taking so long to figure it out. And putting him through so much pain in the meantime.

Amethyst was shocked at the sudden movement, but soon he relaxed, tears running from his eyes as he embraced his friend and kissed him back. So many years of wanting to do this, so many years of longing... His eyes closed as he slid across the benchtop, not caring that his glass fell to the floor and shattered. When they broke apart, he searched Logan's eyes for a long time, still clinging to him desperately.

"I hope you're not pulling a prank on me," he said finally, moving his head so it rested on his friend's chest. His heart was beating so fast.

Logan was oddly surprised when he wasn't pushed back immediately. It was hardly worrisome, though---Logan was glad. So glad that he wasn't lying to himself or hurting Amethyst anymore. The words, though, seemed half-hearted, as if Amethyst were trying not to make it more than it was. "It'd be a horrible prank if it were." Logan replied, running his hand down Amethyst's hair. It was so soft---he'd only ever ruffled the young man's hair or tugged it playfully, never pausing to really feel how naturally healthy and silky it was. And straight as a pin---maybe Amethyst's own work, but he was sure it used to be wavy. Maybe it was his own hair Logan was recalling.

"I know I hurt you." Logan muttered, wiping Amethyst's tears. "I know I was the biggest part of it. But I don't want to hurt you anymore. Maybe I can make up for all those years." He blinked hard, forcing back tears that burned in his eyes before they could fall.

Amethyst couldn't say any more. He slid down from the bench and took Logan's hand, silently leading him to the bedroom. He left the curtains open, they were so high up no one would see anything unless they got a plane and flew past his windows. Smiling softly, he lay back on his bed, staring up at Logan as he slowly took off his top. It was a bit of a struggle, with his hurt hand.

Soon they were together on his bed, naked skin brushing against one another as they kissed and touched every part of each other's bodies. Amethyst felt like he was in a dream, and had to constantly pinch himself to make sure he was awake. It lasted a few hours, until both could no longer carry on. Amethyst, sweaty and panting heavily, flopped back onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling, grinning madly before rolling over and finding Logan to cuddle into.

Logan couldn't have considered such a swift reunion, but it had happened with such a steady succession he almost couldn't remember what led up to it. But he wouldn't let this chance slip through his grasp---or Amethyst, for that matter. How could he have hurt this beautiful human being for so long? He was flawless, and if Logan didn't know that before, he certainly proved his thoughts now. Proved with every instance Logan made Amethyst gasp or cry out or cling to him, as Amethyst did the same in turn. The smell of sweat lingered in the air as Logan watched the sky. Just between some of the larger buildings he could see the sky beginning to lighten. A very pale bluish mingled with a pale orange and pink. But in the heart of the city, no stars were visible.

He curled around Amethyst as he found the young man against him, and slid his hand through his hair. It was getting wavy. He didn't want to move from where he was. Didn't want Amethyst to go. But they both had jobs, and couldn't ignore them.

"My agent is going to kill me," he muttered with a smile, kissing Logan's cheek. "We have a shoot today and he's probably ringing my cellphone like mad... I left it at the studio by accident last night..." He laughed lightly. He hadn't felt this happy for a long time. He moved his good hand and found Logan's, clasping it tightly. "You were amazing."

He wasn't lying either. He had slept with many other men throughout the years, trying to forget Logan and find love elsewhere. None had satisfied him as much as his childhood friend had. His heart still fluttered at the thought. He snuggled into the man's side again, loving the smell and warmth he gave off.

"I guess you gotta go soon..." he said, suddenly feeling sad. He didn't want them to part ways so soon. He would have given anything for them to be able to lie in bed all day. Just as he spoke, a sharp knocking came at his door and then he heard it open. The only other person that had the keys was...

"There you are! I was worried sick! Tried calling all night long! And here you are with some guy," his agent did sound angry. He stood at the foot of the bed, scowling at the two of them like a parent catching their child in the act. Amethyst looked over at Logan and silently apologised for his agent's behaviour.

"Come on! We can't be late. Have a shower to freshen yourself up! We have two photo shoots and a meeting with a director for an advertisement you'll be doing for men's clothing." The bald man left the bedroom so the two could get up and get ready.

"Sorry about him..." Amethyst murmured, blushing slightly. He hoped Logan wasn't too offended or embarrassed by the situation. "Sounds like I got an acting job..." He flashed a grin as he got out of bed, going towards his wardrobe to look for clean clothes.

Go soon... That was true, he did have to leave sooner than he would have liked. He didn't want to go at all, really, with everything he'd come to face so recently. He hadn't discovered anything, since he'd had the sneaking suspicions his life was a big lie he'd tried to weave for himself. But now, he felt so warmly content, like nothing was wrong with the world, that he didn't even mind when someone---obviously someone that often came around without knocking---seemed to blunder into the apartment. It gave him a bit of time to cover himself, at least, and shake his head at the way the no doubt in-charge middle-aged man threw his hands around in an overly exaggerated state of annoyance. But he stifled a laugh for when he left with a huff, and shook his head. He wasn't exactly easily embarrassed, so not even this state of things bothered him.

"Sounds like your name is getting out there even more." He told Amethyst, sliding to the floor and finding his discarded clothing. Most were on the floor at the foot of the bed, though some had found their way underneath. As he redressed, Logan calculated the time it would take to get home, get cleaned up, change into actual work clothing, and hurry off to work. Maybe an hour, if he was quick about it, not long. Besides, his position as a director offered the luxury of being a bit late every now and then without fear, even if he didn't make a habit of it.

Back in his clothing, Logan patted his jeans pockets and found the small notepad and its two-inch pencil that, while making it hard to write, was essential to keep track of any concepts he might think up. He did have to leave quickly, which Logan didn't exactly like but had to accept as reality for now. So he wrote a number on a blank piece of paper, and folded it up before stepping toward Amethyst.

"I have to take off pretty fast or I'll get to work way too late." He said, a resigned tone to his voice. He pressed the paper into Amethyst's hand. "This is my cell number, and below it, the number directly to my office. You can call me anytime even if I'm at work, but if I don't answer I'm probably too busy to. I'll make sure to call you back as soon as I have some time, though... I'll... see you soon." Before he turned, Logan kissed Amethyst on the forehead, moving back regretfully and hurrying out and down the stairs nearby.

Amethyst understood that Logan had to leave so fast. Both of them seemed to have extremely busy lives. He just hoped that the two could meet again soon. He kissed his new found lover goodbye and went to the bathroom to get ready. He could hear his agent at the bar, probably helping himself to some drinks. He rolled his eyes and stepped out of the shower, feeling and smelling refreshed.

After getting dressed in his high-end clothing range, he followed the short bald guy out of his apartment and down to his limo. From there they went straight to the studio, where he was made-up by the various make-up artists and sent to shoot some ads. His day was very tiring, and he was pleased to stop for lunch at a small cafe. He pulled out the small piece of paper and tried to call Logan. Perhaps the two could meet up for lunch.

Managing an entire branch was extremely difficult. Leaving home after he'd gone back to get ready had been difficult, especially since he would rather have gone back to Amethyst and followed him, to observe what, in fact, he did. He was aware, specifically, but he wanted to see the inner workings. But now he had to oversee a dozen different projects, each with glaring flaws that obviously couldn't be seen by their creators. A car ad's photoshop job had left the shadow on the same side as the lighting direction, a magazine model's legs looked laughably short, and a particular overlay on a city made it look as if its people were taller than small businesses in front of the larger offices. Maybe these people were more dense than the building he had come from before... He certainly hoped not, because that was rather sad.

At about noon he shoved the door to his office closed and flipped the lights off, going to his desk and sitting with a huff and massaging his forehead. He'd accepted this level of stress when he accepted the job, it was just to be expected. He knew that with the responsibility of big-name advertisers, there would be plenty of annoyance. Incoherence. Idiocy. People below him that got flustered... He was startled by his phone---cell phone---ringing in his ear suddenly, and he jolted upright. Who...? Glancing at the clock, Lucas nodded to himself. Lunchtime. Perhaps it was Amethyst---the caller ID listed it as a wireless caller, so Lucas answered quickly. "Ami?" He stood up, intending to get out of the office and outside. Anywhere other than there.