His eyes were wide, cheeks red, and his breathing was shaky. "T-take the risk...?" he asked breathlessly, shivering a little.

Romeo nodded once and closed his eyes as he pulled himself upright. He moved his legs over to one side of Gavin's body first and then pulled his chest up so he wound up in a sitting position with his legs under his butt. His eyes went soft and he touched Gavin's shoulder lightly, giving him a smile with half of his mouth.

"You're right.... it is too soon for this..." He pulled his hand away and looked down, waiting for Gavin's responce. "I'll take you home whenever you want."

Sitting up, he nodded slowly, face still very red. "I can't rush into things... If that's a problem than you shouldn't bother with me..." he said quietly, getting to his feet.

Romeo shook his head and smiled, pulling Gavin into a quick, tight hug before letting him go.

"Not a problem at all... you're just making me realize that maybe you're not the only one who can't rush into things anymore. It's...different...when there's real feelings behind the motions."

Looking a little relieved, he smiled awkwardly and nodded. "I'm glad you feel that way... It makes me feel a little better about this... But I really can't rush into things. You're my first relationship in a long time, I don't want to mess that up, for either of us."

Romeo nodded his head once in a movement that was graceful and almost looked like a bow before lifting his eyes back up to Gavin. You could tell he was trying to keep the mood light, but there was such an earnest seriousness in his eyes that no one could mistake the words for a joke.

"Well you know, by the time you're comfortable enough I'll probably be more than ready and waiting to pounce you as soon as you so much as hint that you're ready. So you better not start giving me mixed signals, ok?" He winked, laughing loudly while closing his eyes and shaking his head. When he looked back at Gavin, his eyes had softened and there was a big smile on his face. "Lets get you home."

"It's hard not to give mixed signals when the feelings you're feeling are mixed," he said with a soft, awkward chuckle. He nodded at Romeo's suggestion that he leave, and they headed out together.

Romeo had locked the door behind Gavin and rushed ahead of him, using his long legs to gain ground enough to open the door for him before walking around to his own side of the car. Regardless of how Gavin felt about doors being opened for him... it was a habit that Romeo wouldn't be able to change soon. He walked around the car and got in on his own side, putting on his seat belt and checking his mirrors to make sure they were still adjusted the right way before looking over at Gavin and giving him a contemplative look.

"What's the look for?" he asked suspiciously, climbing into the car and pulling the door shut.

A smile slowly spread over Romeo's face. He put the car into gear, looked forward and started driving back towards Gavin's home.

"Just wondering what you thought of the evening."

"I think..." he said thoughtfully, pulling on his seat belt. "That you're a good cook. That you're heavier than you look. And that I'm glad that having emotions involved seem to have changed how you'd normally act towards someone you find attractive..."

"On the first, I'm happy you think so. On the second, I have no idea how my frame in any way shape or form ever lead you to believe I was anything BUT heavy." Romeo chuckled a little. "On the third...me too honestly. Getting involved with people like that always left me kinda empty inside. Going back to spend just another night alone in that big bed in that house only seemed to serve as another reminder of exactly how alone I really was..."

"I don't understand how people can just separate after sex," he said, looking out the window thoughtfully. "I was in a situation like that a couple times... I always felt so filthy and disgusting... Me... I'm one of those that has to spend the night with their lover. I can't just walk away and keep that feeling of happiness once my lovers' warmth is gone."

"I don't think anyone can. I think people can fool themselves into believing that they're happy because they've been with X amount of people, but I don't believe that anyone is truly happy outside of the arms of someone that honestly loves them..."

"Unless that person doesn't really love the person they slept with." He sighed and shrugged a little. "I guess maybe I'm just too sentimental for this day and age."

Romeo laughed. "Maybe.... but some of us actually go for that ...what would you call it... chivalrous charm? I myself find it quite endearing in a person when I find out they're reserved enough about their love life that they refuse to sleep with anyone they don't have a good emotional connection with."

He smiled a little sheepishly. "I can't stand the thought of it, really... Sex is supposed to be intimate, not something between strangers. One of my old friends tried to push me into a blind date and a one night stand. I got as far as the bedroom, but I just couldn't stand the thought of doing something so reckless, and something I knew would be self-destructive on my behalf. The guy got really angry with me and threw me out of his apartment. But honestly, I was proud of myself for staying true to my beliefs."

Romeo nodded once, eyes still glued on the road. "I believed the same thing back before my first time... but after that. It was like heroine...alcohol or any other drug. It was such a tremendous high for me that I couldn't stop myself... even got into a few situations where I honestly didn't WANT to be with who I was with... but I wanted it so bad... I never compromised the testing though. I knew eventually I'd want to settle down and try for a normal life, one that wasn't so reckless. No one would want to be with me if I was disease ridden. The nights that I denied someone because they tested positive, refused to get tested or refused to show me the results were torture. Almost to the point that I wanted to give in, but I stayed true to my own set of beliefs.

Sure, waking up the next morning was horrible... espically because I don't even own any pets... I love people. It's the main reason I took the kind of job and worked up to the position I'm in now. I have a white knight complex...I'm almost as addicted to helping people I love when they're in need as I am to the sex that sometimes comes with it. The cold that settles over you when you realize that you've been filling your life with nothing but meaningless relationships is... unsettling at best." He sighed. "So I started changing myself... started working at the shelter to fill that niche of helping others out. I don't think I've even had anyone over since." He thought back... his eyes raising in suprise when he realized that the last one was the night before he actually met Gavin. "Well in a little while I suppose.."

"I've only known sexual addiction when my partner felt it. I read it from them and become what they are. I don't know if that could be called a gift or a curse. I guess in a way it's a gift. Though by myself I'm not a very sexual creature, when I'm with someone who is I somehow manage to live up to what they want from me. It's strange..."

He shrugged a little, chuckling awkwardly. "Ah, oh well. I really need to stop thinking about things like that," he said, glancing over at Romeo. "Especially in your presence," he teased.

"Oh, come on... if I was THAT much of a temptation I'm sure you would have slipped up more by now... You know, accidentally touching me in indecent places at random and sitting there staring at my long gorgeous hair." Romeo laughed and rolled his eyes slightly, putting his hand on his chest to emphasize his next sentence. "Oh wait! That's ME I was describing, my bad." He was only partially joking, luckily he had gotten over his bad habit of groping people at random when he liked them. He was pretty sure that would have chased Gavin away rather quickly.

"Look," he said with a sigh. "I like you, okay? But just because I like you doesn't mean that things are going to work out between us. I'm not saying that they won't work out, but I've learned not to fool myself into believing something will be successful. I have been in three relationships, all of which lasted a long time, but they failed. And though I loved them very much... Every time that happens I just want to kill myself. Because obviously they were more important to me than I was to them, and in a way, it feels like I was raped. I consented, but still... When they can just turn and rip you apart with such ease, it makes you feel like you were raped every time you had sex with them. And I just... I don't want to feel that again."

Romeo's eyes went soft, his voice was soft enough to be gentle without being inaudible. "I'm sorry that happened... If there was something I could do... I know I can't do anything but be there for you when you need me. I very much doubt that if for some reason this doesn't work out that it will be because I care for you less than you care for me." He turned his head just enough to wink at Gavin before gluing them back to the road. "After all, you're not the one that's climbing the side my family's house just to see how my face looks in the moonlight." He was trying to reference his trip to Gavin's work and didn't know if Gavin would pick up the reference or not.

He smirked a little, understanding what he was referring to. "Thanks... But you can understand why I'm cautious... I didn't even get the closure of keeping a friendship with my former lovers... And my first... Well, we were both too young, so I can understand why it didn't work... But still..."

"I've always thought it was a bad idea to become friends with your former lovers... I mean. Maybe if you start out that way. It's the ones that you give your heart and soul to that it just HURTS every time you look at them or think about them..."

"Sometimes friendships afterwards can mend that pain, though. If you two can succeed as friends where you failed as lovers, it leaves you with a lot less hard feelings. At least, I feel that that's how it would work with me, at least..."