"And no one ever knows for sure if they're missing something vital to making a masterpiece until they show others anyway. I see imprefections in pretty much every one of these. It's why I've never really showed them to anyone else. Maybe I'm just telling myself it's good because it looks good to me and not because it's ACTUALLY good." Romeo shrugged. "Art, in any form, is meant to be enjoyed. If it's something that you're doing for yourself then it's ok to hide it away from the rest of the world."

"I'm not really interested in making masterpieces. I don't know... I don't really enjoy my own works... They don't look good to me. They're just how I express myself when words fail... I guess I could show you if you really want to see them..."

"I'd love to." Romeo had only said three words, but there was so much emotion in them it was like he was talking about wrapping himself in his own private world away from the pain that's caused in this one. "If for not other reason than to understand you a little bit better." He smiled gently. "Afterall, I can tell so much more about a person by what they create than anything else they might actually say with those words they can or cannot say."

He stayed quiet for a few moments, then nodded slowly. "They're in the bottom drawer of my dresser if you want to look through them."

"Of course." Romeo stood gracefully and walked into Gavin's room, pulling open only and drawer he indicated and pulling out the papers. He walked back into the living room slowly, tracing every line of the one on top and holding the stack very gently, like they were gems, he also read the ones with text on the bottom. "Pain." He flipped to the next page, studying it just as carefully. "Desire." He flipped to another page. "Fear." He looked up at Gavin and gave him a cute half smile. "You know you're virtually giving me the keys to your soul with these, right?"

From that sentance he went back to saying one word after every page as he turned to the next one. Just the first emotion he thought of after going through and carefully studying each piece. "Strength. Humility. Patience." He tilted his head at this one. "A LOT more patience than I have." He laughed. "I never would have been able to finish this one. So much detail. This must have taken you days... or at least one full day. I know if I had that much patience it would have done that to me. Me being the quasi-perfectionist that I am."

As Romeo continued going through his drawings, he bit his lip and diverted his eyes when Romeo came upon a drawing that was clearly that of Gavin. Blindfolded, lips sewn shut, naked, and legs cut off mid-calf, as well as his hands and wrists cut off, the bone of the limbs exposed and bleeding.

It was clearly Gavin, several years younger, with more weight and less worn-looking. From what could be seen of the drawing's face, there was an expression of surrender upon the features, and the body seemed oddly relaxed.

Gavin stayed quiet, wondering if Romeo would say anything about the image.

"You were dying on the inside... trying to find a way to express it in a way that.... would hurt at least differently if not less." Romeo picked up Gavin's hand in his own and studied his wrist. His long fingers were gentle on the skin as they passed over the area where scars would have been if it had actually happened. He looked up in Gavin's eyes, trying to read the expression he was wearing and found himself at a loss. Setting the papers gently on the floor, he kissed Gavin's forehead before wrapping his arms around him and holding him. "You never have to feel that exposed and broken again.... not while I'm with you. And I'm not making any plans to go anywhere."

"I wasn't dying anymore when I drew that," he said quietly, not resisting Romeo's physical contact, but not looking at him, and a distant look in his eyes. "I drew it after I was already dead."

"Shall I ressurect you then and make you my corpse bride?" Romeo said with a seriousness he didn't usually display. "Or maybe I can get lucky and truely turn you into my own personal Lazerus, ressurect you for real." He stroked Gavin's hair and whispered in his ear. "If you were dead before, you've at least gained a little life since we've met eachother. I can see it in your eyes and in your heart.

I promise with all that I am that I will feed each and every one of your needs and desires as long as you tell me what they are so you can get as much strength back as possible." He pulled away just a little bit and smiled trailing his hand down Gavin's arm and entwining his fingers between the other man's. "All you ever have to do is ask."

"I'll show you the last picture I smiled for... But you might hate me for it," he said quietly, unsure of how to respond to Romeo's words.

"There are very few things you could do that would make me hate you. Unless the smile is caused because you're standing on top a pile of dead infants and todlers you killed with your bare hands, well there's not a very good chance it's going to make me hate you. I don't even like children that much, but I think everyone has the right grow and live." Romeo smiled softly. "No matter how big of a bastard they are when they're younger."

He reached over to one of the notebooks that Romeo had brought out, slipping his fingers into a pocket on the inside of the back cover, pulling out a photograph. Without a word, and without looking at Romeo, he handed him the photograph.

It was Gavin, and it was Archer, standing together and laughing, true, happy smiles on their faces. The were both learning forward, Archer's arm around Gavin's shoulders, wearing his track uniform that consisted of a sleeveless jersey top and mid-thigh shorts, and a red headband with his hair in a high ponytail.

Gavin's hair was dyed bright orange and wore a black sleeveless shirt with a thick white arrow pointing up to his face, and one pointing at his groin, with the word 'choose' between the arrows; his jeans were rich dark blue denim with slight flares at the ankles, and his appearance contrasted that of Archer's.

It seemed like another lifetime, they were both eight years younger, and Archer looked happy and fit and energetic, unlike the tired, weak, worn down, sad Archer in a wheelchair Romeo had met in the waiting room when Gavin had his surgery.

Romeo smiled at the picture in spite of himself and, after studying it a bit, handed it reverently back to Gavin. He tousled Gavin's hair and stretched, snuggling closer to the couch with his back while laughing. "I like seeing you this concerned over something so silly as my reaction, it's cute. Completely unnecessary, but cute. I'm happy that at one point in your life someone was there for you that could make you smile like that. In fact." He paused for a moment to point at the picture for emphasis. "This Archer fellow, if this is what Archer really looked like from his fall from grace, isn't such a bad guy at all. I talked to him for a little bit while you were in your surgery. He seems kinda nice."

He paused again, taking a deep breath and running a hand though his own long raven locks. "My point, in all this is that... your past doesn't matter to me. Not one bit. It's interesting to know. If there's something in it that can help me better take care of you or help me understand you better, then I want to know. But I'm never going to get upset because you were once happy with someone else." He grinned impishly and winked at Gavin. "Just don't fall for anyone else or as soon as you get back on your feet and can afford another place to live, I'm kicking you and your cat both on your arses out of my house."

"I'm not that kind of person," he said barely above a whisper. He put the photograph back inside the notebook, then hung his head and closed his eyes. "Still... Every time I see him, I miss him. We became friends again after our breakup... But as my situation grew worse I kinda pulled away in embarrassment... I really regret that..."

Romeo waited for a moment, scrunching his face up in thought before clearing his throat intentionally and throwing Gavin a very thoughtful look. Asher had been completely friendly and helpful to him. Even though he hadn't had a chance to try his suggestions, he knew that Asher had nothing to gain by lying to him.

"If you still have his number," He started the sentance very slowly, while still trying to figure out if it was the best thing for him to do or not. "and you want to try becoming friends with him again...you could invite him to dinner one night soon."

"I don't know if the number I have is still current..." he said quietly. "Besides... I don't think that's a good idea... It'd be putting you out too much... An ex boyfriend and a current boyfriend... I don't think you'd really be comfortable with that... Would you...?"

Romeo just grinned. "I made enough threats to him already about making the rest of his life more uncomfortable if he tried stealing you back while we were still together." His face grew somber then. "Besides, you already said you're not that kind of guy. I trust you, at least I want to...and this is as big of step of trust as any other we could take at the moment. If having him back in your life would make you happy then I'm willing to try making it happen. I want you to know I'm looking out for your best intentions. You just have to let me know what you want first. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would intentionally try to make you unhappy."

"No," he said, shaking his head slowly. "He isn't. He didn't mean to treat me the way he did after his accident, but I couldn't handle the abuse, even if it was just temporary..." He sighed, hanging his head yet again. "After he broke his spine... He couldn't cope with losing the ability to walk. Sports were what he lived for. Then when he found out what had happened to me as a child, he grew angry with me because my injuries had been worse and I was able to walk..."

He sighed, looking back up at Romeo, barely making eye contact, but at least making an effort to. "He lost his college scholarship and everything. His world fell apart, including us."

Romeo nodded, taking everything in and fitting it to what he knew about Asher already. He took a deep breath and gestured towards the phone. "There's always trying." He got up and found one of his many brushes lying around the house, pulling up his hair with one of the hair ties he kept in the bathroom. "Do you have a good idea what you're hungry for? I'm in a mood to cook."

"I don't care," he sighed. "Just make sure it's not very acidic." He laid back down on the couch and closed his eyes, doing his best not to think about his time with Archer, in what felt like another lifetime.

Romeo washed his hands before pulling some chicken out of the fridge that he had set in the fridge the day before to thaw. He opened the package, poking it to make sure it was completely thawed and then washed his hands again before getting out a baking pan, some rice, some carrots, a can of mushroom soup, a package of sliced mushrooms, some milk, butter and the seasonings. He turned the oven on and ran a stick of butter over the inside of the pan coating it completely before taking the rice over to the sink and washing it to get the excess dirt out.

American rice was always a lot cleaner than rice from Vietnam, but they still don't get all the dirt out before packaging and shipping it, so he made sure he did before he set the rice in the bottom of the pan, spreading it so it coated the entire bottom of it. He put the can of mushroom soup in next, pouring a can and a half of milk on top of that. He set to work seasoning the chicken. He had some hickory smoke seasoning that he tapped lightly on there and a few other seasonings and let that sit for just a little bit. Then he put some butter, salt, and pepper in the rice mixture and stirred it all together. He laid the chicken, mushrooms and carrots on top of it all and covered with foil, placing it in the oven and turning the timer on. Then he started working on the salad.

Gavin ended up dozing off while Romeo set about cooking. Every now and then he'd let out an utterance of discomfort or a sound like someone having a nightmare, his body twitching a bit here and there as he slept.

Romeo didn't spend very long before he got all of the salad together. Most of the things that were going in it were already pre-cut. He set it in the fridge when he was done and his ears picked up the sound of Gavin's discomfort as soon as his concentration was no longer needed for the food. His eyebrows raised and he washed and dried his hands again before walking into the living room. He took his hair down from the pony tail, pressing his lips together in a thin line and sighing while running his long fingers through his silky raven hair. Oh MAN, you're going to wake up and think I'm trying to rape you, I know it!

He climbed on top of Gavin, doing his best to not put any pressure on the places where he underwent surgery and held him still like Archer advised him to. If it wasn't for the atmosphere he wouldn't mind getting a little excited being this close to Gavin's body but he knew he would probably never forgive himself if Gavin woke up with the wrong impression. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing, the sounds coming from Gavin and keeping himself distracted enough so he couldn't embarrass himself. Think about baseball...think about baseball...think about baseball!

It took a little while, but Gavin slowly regained his calm, never waking. Romeo's weight against him soothed him, allowing him to ease back into a more peaceful sleep.

Romeo sighed with relief as Gavin's breathing pattern returned to normal and he seemed at peace. It was going to be a shame to leave him when it was time to take the food out of the oven, but he knew life wasn't so perfect that he was going to be able to stay with him like this forever. He slipped off of him enough so that he had just enough of himself on the couch so he could balance on his side to look at Gavin. One arm was left hanging above his head and he kept his other across Gavin's chest while he studied the way he looked in his sleep. Looking at him resting so peacefully it was hard to imagine he could want anything else for him than the peace he had now.

It was at the end of that thought that the timer for the food in the oven went off. Slightly suprised, Romeo fell off the couch with a loud 'THUD' on the floor and scrambled to his feet, racing into the kitchen in what he was sure was a vain attempt to turn off the timer before Gavin woke up. He turned it off and got some pot holders so he could pull the chicken and rice mixture out of the oven. He pulled the foil off, taking a deep breath inward to make sure the spices set the right way before covering it back up and leaving it on the stove top. Then he peeked around the corner to check on Gavin to see if he was still asleep.