I gulped. He had gotten the point. I couldn't help but blush right then too. As I would never had expected me to say this to anyone in the future, I had just did. I nodded when he said you mean...I was lean back having perfect view of his face. I felt like I was the only one breathing and nodded again when he asked me. I was just as quiet as he was when he didn't speak. I knew I wasn't red like he was but you could clearly see the embarrassment on my face. Something was stuck in my throat and my voice couldn't get out. His thoughtful face made me wonder as well. I had no problem with it...I mean after all, James is the only guy who cared for me and I liked him back for it. And now he was frozen and I so was I in some way...

I watched her nod; refusing to talk back. I looked down and then up again, taking my hands away from her arms. It felt awkward, though it really shouldn't between us. "They were just asking about that.. I er" I started, trailing off, "Don't think it means.. that I..". I frowned at myself when I couldn't get a proper sentence out. "I mean, it's not something you have to do.." I said, looking away. Why was it so embarrassing? It had always been easy talking to other girls about it.

My eyebrows pulled together? I was confused at what he was trying to say and then I looked away. It was so weird that we had never talked about us...touching and stuff. He let go of my arms and tried his best to get something out. I blinked in a 'oh' face. "I know...but I wanted to just..." My lips pulled back as in what I was about to say "know..." I looked back at his face and tried to find an exact expression. "If you wanted to..." I shied away from his face. I let out a small breath at this weird conversation we were having...

I started to speak, making a noise, but I was confused and stopped. I looked at her, despite my blushing cheeks. "You.. want to?" I asked, surprised. My eyes widened. I had thought she was concerned that she had to do something with me, when I would never ever force her to do it. However, despite the confusion, embarrasment and shock, the natural human feelings flooded through. Being wanted like that was a great boost for a guys ego. Somehow it was even bigger because Anna had said it. I was still nervous though, as she had never mentioned anything like this before. Of course I wanted to, who wouldn't? She was an amazing, beautiful girl.. An angel in the most literal sense! My lips pressed together as our conversation was rigid.

He was about to say something and stopped at what I had said...I smiled at his surprised face, it always made me smile to see his. "Actually...I had never thought about this until now...and I guess..." I shied away again and turned a little. I didn't feel like saying anything else, I glanced at his face and saw his mouth shut. Where were we before this whole conversation? Food? That was like long time ago, this mattered a little more only because it involved James a bit more...I finished my sentence "Do you...want..." I left it hanging. I still looked at the floor and to my hands...slowly leading me up to his face...

I couldn't help but feel disappointed that she had never thought of it, but it was understandable. She was a girl, and she was an angel. There were other things to worry about. I found it slightly funny how we were being so awkward, but I didn't show it on my face. She looked away from me, but my eyes stayed fixed on hers. Did she really want this, or was she trying to please me? I knew we didn't have much time left, but I didn't want her to feel pressured by the time restriction. In fact, she shouldn't be pressured at all. I was annoyed at the guys for being so loud. However, if she had not heard, we would be too shy or worried to bring it up ourselves. She had smiled though, which threw me offtrack before she spoke, making this all more confusing. Could that mean, she liked the idea? I was so confused, but I knew what I would like, and I knew what she shouldn't have to do. Unfortunately, they were the same thing. But then she asked in a different way. She was really asking? "Well.." I started "Of course, Anna". My voice was soft, but convincing. "I just.. don't want you to be pressured.. because we don't have much time..". I realised then that maybe I had been wrong, and she wanted it as much as me. "Unless it's something you want to do" I asked, not being able to escape the samll amount enthusiasm that slipped through, causing my eyes to open wider. I rubbed my arm nervously.

I sighed finally looking up at him and a smile slipping through. I understood what he had said, I didn't feel like I was being rushed or pressured. Of course James would agree to it, he would do anything for me. And if I didn't, he would respect that. And I knew that for sure. His voice was one thing that made me wonder because of how...real it was. Like he really wanted me in that way. "I don't think I'm being rushed...Just something I thought I should...ask before...I would have to go..." My smile was completely off right now. He had said a suggestion and his eyes widened and he rubbed his arm as if he were nervous. It shouldn't be...it was just James and Anna here. We had been through so much, one involving an angel trying to kill us. "And if it's something you want...I'm here James." I smiled a small smile. "I will always be here."

I smiled at her, feeling the tension get easier. I moved closer in a natural movement. "I know" I smiled. I'd do everything I could to keep her here. It pleased me to know she didn't feel pressured, though it felt as if she was saying it just because of what I want. "Just as long as you want it too" I said, my voice sounding reassuring but questioning. I tried to keep the thoughts away for now. She had agreed and opened the opportunity up for me, also releasing many thoughts into my head.

when he smiled I smiled warmer. He got closer and I thought that this whole conversation was at ease now. I nodded and said "Same here..." Something about his words made me feel all bubbly inside and it was a nice feeling. I watched the door back to him with a soft smile. "So where were we before....this?" I laughed lightly at how weird we both had just acted. Sure I would do it with Jame, I mean after all he had done for me, of course. And it's not that I'm doing it just because I think I have to...I want to. Whenever James liked something, no doubt I would like it. It was a tight bond, I am guessing.

I laughed, feeling weird about the whole conversation. She wanted the same? I melted more inside and pushed away my thoughts harder. I bit my lip to contain my happiness about it all. It wasn't like with my ex girlfriends from my old school. I cared so much about her, and I felt so unlike my old self. I ran my hand through my hair, "Yeah..Erm..". I gave her a big smile. "Do you want to get something to eat?" I asked looking into her eyes.

I laughed with him when he did. It was like he just couldn't express his happiness to me. James was a first, a good first. My old boyfriend at this school only used me for..."things" and I always refused him. I don't even know why I had even gone out with him...he was such a rude person. James was different, he cared, about everything. About me, what I want, how I feel and everything. And I felt bad having to leave him with a change unknown. I was about have my smile faded but his big smile brought it back. Um. I wasn't really hungry, but maybe he was? But then again I could be wrong. "Sure...but I'm not so hungry..." I said with a small laugh. After everything, eating was the last thing I would think about.

I shrugged "We better go out somewhere anyway.. I think the teachers are looking for me". I looked away from her, making out as though I was cringing and then back at her smiling. I remembered when I'd run across the school and I had never told Anna what had happened. Somehow she knew that I'd had a pain attack, which amazed me. I'd forgotten all about being hungry, though I knew I hadn't eaten and I should. However, what we had been talking about made my mouth dry as I was nervous, making me crave a drink much more. I moved to slip on my shoes and glance out the window.

I nodded and watched him move to his shoes. Strangely, I had mine on..."Why would teachers be looking for you?" I asked as I turned to tie my shoe which happened to be loose. I kneeled on the floor, asking him a question that had been roaming in my head for quiet a while...I could use a bite, I mean I want to die healthy. And something about that sentence made me freeze on the floor. My face blank completely forgetting about what I had just asked. I looked deeply into my shoe and tried to push my thoughts away...

"Something about.. getting excluded from school?" I said with a grin as I turned back round to face her. I didn't really care about stuff like that, I had been through it lots of times before. It felt strange talking about that. I felt like I had two different sides of me. My past side, where I was reckless and Anna's side, where I was completely soft. I wondered whether I would or could ever turn back to my old self, or if Anna had changed me as a person. When I saw her, she was also tying her shoelace, but she had stopped. "Having trouble?" I laughed jokingly and started to walk over to her.

My lips parted as I looked into my shoe lace and then I heard James voice and I looked up, getting up from the floor. He came over to see what I needed help with, I stepped back and said "I got it." It was a good thing he hadn't seen my expression; and frankly that, he hadn't heard my thoughts. I smiled and let it go holding it for only a second. And I asked him about the "Excluded from school" thing and I blurted out "Um...What did you do James?" You could hear the enthusiasm in my voice, but no smile.

I turned back to the side to put my key into my pocket while she spoke. "What are we doing right now?" I said with a small laugh. "Guess they're getting fed up of me already" I said, my smile dropping to an understanding expression. "Most people do" I added, thinking about my old school and especially my family. Whilst speaking I walked over to the door and put my hand on the handle.

My eyebrows pulled together when I heard him speak. I rolled my eyes when he stated what we were doing right now. Sure we were skipping but we had a perfect excuse. But we couldn't share it. That reminded me that I should...I looked up when he said something. He walked over to the door and almost headed out. I walked after him. "No ones fed up with you James." I said it like a fact. If someone was fed up with him then they didn't know him like I did. And then my thoughts flickered back to what I was thinking about...I would like to visit my family...and that too by myself. For some reason I just wanted to. But James could come if he wanted to.

I turned the door handle and opened the door saying "Hmm" halfheartedly in response to her comment. I stepped outside and held it out for her to walk into the hallway and then locked the door behind us. Noone was in the dorm now, and I was thankful that the guys were not here to spark up more interest about our intimacy. "I'll just get something from the shop if you don't want to eat" I said to her as we walked. "What do you think we should do today?" I said more enthusiastically, putting my hands in my pockets where I had placed my key again.

I heard his response as a sad one for a reason, somewhere. I got out as he locked the door. I nodded looking at my feet as we walked. I wasn't hungry, maybe a little, but I didn't care, I didn't want to eat. I looked up at him when he asked me what I wanted to do today. I could tell him about how I wanted to meet with my family...and I figured, why keep secrets here and there. I looked at my hand, posing it to look at the nails. I looked to him for a second and answered "Um...actually, I was thinking if I could stop by parents? If thats okay with you?" It probably was but better then assumptions. I put my hand down and glanced at my feet again. I didn't even know why so? I felt like the old anna now, and that scared me a little.

I felt confused for a second that I hadn't thought of this. Of course she would want to see her parents now, I had just been distracted. "Sure" I answered, a little more cheerfully "But do you want to go on your own?". I didn't want to make it awkward by me being there, even if I was curious about her family. She looked more timid and formal than we had been before, and I wondered whether that was a result of our conversation before, or the fact she wanted to see her parents. I reached out and touched her hand anyway, sliding my fingers into her cool hand. I didn't want her to feel awkward with me and I hoped we could be more comfortable when touching eachother, somehow I felt more bonded to her this way, making it seem natural.

I smiled at his exception. Of course I would want him to come, I felt like I didn't need him but these last days were valuable. I couldn't waste them. I answered with "Of course I want you there james...why wouldn't I?" but then again, maybe he wanted to spend his last days as human with something important to him. "But I will totally except it if you would want to stay and do something else, on your own." He reached for my hand making his hot fingers find their place. I held it softly and still looked down. Oh no, old Anna was coming back. Was it because of the conversation we had just had? Guys could take it like any other conversation but girls on the other hand made it a major conversation. He was about arm length away holding my hand, trying to tell me that it was just James and Anna. The new james and the new anna.

I laughed at the way we were being overly nice to eachother. "No, I'd rather be with you" I replied happily "Anyway, I'd love to meet your parents". I smiled at her, but she was looking down. When we stepped out of the dorm, I looked around for anyone outside, but it was empty. We would be able to just walk out easily if we avoided passing the classroom windows.

I sighed and said "Okay then." We walked out the dorm and into the outside and the air felt nice against my skin. It was soft. I looked up and around us, still avoiding his eyes. We would walk out with no one noticing, in fact we could walk like we were in his room, out here. The I thought if we were going to walk there? I knew the directions to the Asylum, and it was pretty far. I still had his hand and slowly slid it out and stopped. "Are we going to drive there?" I said looking slightly down...

My mouth reflexively opened as she slid her hand out of mine, making me feel slightly bad. "Erm" I said "Where is it?". I looked around and across at the main road near the school, wondering myself how we were going to get there if it was too far to walk. We could always take the bus, "I don't have a car" I added admittingly. Alot of the boys in my dorm had cars, which I could see parked across in the carpark. Obviously, I wasn't as wealthy as them, and my parents would never consider anything remotely generous towards me in the first place. The air was warmer today, though no temperature did much difference to my warm skin. She was still looking down and not up at me, so my head bent down a little to try and see her or catch her attention.

I hesitated and looked off as he said he didn't have a car. I had one, which I barely used because I had no where to go, I also knew how to drive. Maybe James did too. I finally looked up at him and told him "I have a car...and the asylum isn't really far..." I didn't leave his eyes anymore. Just before he was trying to get my attention. His face made me feel a tad...guilty. I wasn't even looking at him, and now I wasn't leaving his eyes. I grabbed his hand again that hung by his side, slipping my fingers through his. I gave a small half hearted smile.