I frowned for a second, trying to understand her mood. I didn't though, but I was happy she was holding my hand again. I nodded, my face not returning a smile "Okay". I looked thoughtful and then looked away. "Where?" I said, not feeling very talkative. Something had either upset her or made her feel awkward. I realised my mood changed with hers. When she was upset, I couldn't not be.

I watched his eyes and how they danced down. Like they had faded. I know I was acting a little weird but I was just feeling awkward talking about...sex and then having to go meet my parents. I felt like I was lying to them and I didn't want to. I didn't want James to tone down just because I was. I pulled him a little further and pointed with my other hand once we got into the parking lot. "It's over there...come on" I had to admit, I tried to fit in with the rest of the cars but mine was just...too, good enough. That's one of the reasons why I didn't drive it as much. I walked over to my car pulling James along. My car was just as I left it, I would have thought by now one of the girls would have crashed it. It was sleek and black, a two door, just enough. It looked ostentatious. And I sighed. I still didn't know if i was going to drive or he was. By what I could tell, I thought I was.

I let Anna take me across the parking lot and I looked at the cars trying to predict which one hers was. When we slowed down towards one of the cars, I couldn't believe it at first. My eyes opened wider and my other hand gestured towards the shiny black car. "This?" I murmered. The car was pretty expensive and looked gorgeous compared to the average looking cars around us. I didn't think I'd ever seen it in the parking lot before, but since I didn't have a car, I never really took notcie of the many cars here. "You want to drive?" I asked casually, moving around the car to look at it more closely. I guessed that Anna would be able to drive if she had a car, and I would have driven anyway if not for the image that was in my head since she mentioned a car. I feared that I would have a pain attack whilst driving. I couldn't take the chance of crashing and hurting Anna because of this. I let my fingers trail across the smooth metal of the car. I would have felt jealousy, but even though I did like cars, I hadn't been occupied on such material objects since everything had been happening between Anna and me.

I sighed when he awed at my car. You could have guessed it would have been nice, my parents loved me like nothing. But then again, they had left me at a small age. I frowned and nodded at when he asked me. I leaned against the car with my thigh touching the bumper. I could have drove, seemed like he wanted for me to drive as well. I pouted and thought about it, letting out a "Uh yeah." I walked around the car to open the door for him and the scent of the car made my nose high. It was like fresh freesia. Smelled...good. I looked over at james, waiting for him to get in.

I smiled at Anna when she opened the door for me curtiously. I got in the car and marvelled at the clean and lovely smelling interior. My hands stroked the posh seats and dashboard and I watched her get in to the car. "Nice" I said as she got in, looking around me. I gave her a warm smile and wondered why she wasn't excited to be seeing her parents.

I shut the door as he sat into the car. I walked around and got in myself. I gave out a cough-ful laugh when he said it was nice. When I spoke "Thanks..." it sounded horrible, like I had a sick cold...I cleared my throat and let out a few more coughs before I started the engine. I gulped, maybe speaking for a while made me like this. The way he touched my car was so...joyful. To me, it was like a kid seeing a water fountain at one of those malls. I looked over at him, feeling a tad sad for him. When he smiled I tried to make my smile as real as possible...it failed.

My face dropped when I heard her harsh sounding voice and dim smile. "Are you okay?" I asked "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable before..". I hoped that she wasn't rethinking what we had been talking about and changed her mind. But if she had, I would be okay with it. Or was she worried about where we were going? I couldn't always be sure with Anna, she was so hidden most of the time.

I didn't think I was okay, I was coughing and it sounded bad. Make me uncomfortable? Before? Wasn't I the one who brought it up? Before I pulled out I answered him looking him in the eye, leaning back, "Yeah, I'm kay..." I wasn't, but is that something I would say to him? He was James, I had told him everything, I figured this could be talked over later, as said my undecided voice. I rolled my eyes and looked at him "You didn't make me uncomfortable...I brought it up...remember?" and I pulled out looking in my rear mirror. I drove out the parking lot and somewhat surprised of how I had remembered how to drive.

I leaned back and put my elbow on the side of the window. I looked out the window as I murmured "Yeah, yeah". Okay, so she wasn't thinking about our earlier conversation, then what was she thinking about? It slightly annoyed me how she just didn't tell me, as we shouldn't have any secrets from eachother, there was no point. I watched to scenery go past as we got faster and on to the roads. I glanced into the wing mirror and saw others moving about coming out of class and was thankful we had gone before the bell had rung.

I drove across a few roads. I heard james answer me...I sighed and took a turn, spinning the wheel. We drove in silence and I loved how this was so much faster. I could see the students walk across the school grounds as the bell rung. I slowed down when I had seen the red light. I stopped next to the other cars and I sighed and drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. I looked over at James. He was looking out into the world. I watched him and looked away...waiting for the light to go green.

The silence wasnt too weird, as the smooth pur of the engine sounded. I really didn't want us to be like this with eachother. I liked her so much and she wouldn't even tell me why she was being like this with me. I looked over to her and said "There's something.. what is it?". I sighed "It's no use being secretive" I said quieter, as if a statement rather than directly at her. I sat up more and looked straighr out the window, trying to judge which way we were going.

I pushed the gas petal and drove, it was silent at first, but James voice asked me a question that questioned my thoughts. Why was I acting like this...Was it because I didn't want James here with me...No. I think it's because I was just nervous meeting my parents...maybe. I sighed as I took a turn and slowed down on the road a little bit. I focused on the road. Was I being secretive? I didn't think so. It was nothing. At least I thought it was, what was I supposed to say? That I was afraid of meeting my parents, having him here, him thinking I'm freak. I didn't want to go back there again. I wished we were here all ready, I wouldn't have to answer him. My voice was quiet as I answered, the engine roaring over me..."If I was being secretive then I would have something to say right now..." I focused on the road as we drove.

I sighed, a little annoyed at her reply. I expected something more understanding. She had taken some time to answer, and I had looked at her. She was obvioulsy thinking, and I just didn't know what it could be. "If you don't want me to go that's fine" I said casually, ignoring what she had said. "I don't mind" I added, sincerely. The tension between us felt strange and I didn't like it, but I tried to remind myself of not long ago this morning when we were laid down together, touching. It seemed something had irked her, though girls were always confusing, so I couldn't trust my judgement.

I rolled my eyes without a smile and looked over at him in a glance. I got serious and decided to answer the question more straightforward. I sighed. I looked over at the road. "James, I want you here. No matter what, I like you here by my side...Your basically the rest of my life." I paused thinking what I was going to say next. I was about to say something and then something else came out "My parents....are something different. I know you know they are....not normal, but I just want you to know...I'm not like them." I just had to get that out. Maybe I didn't want him here but I don't know how nervous I would have been if he wasn't. I squinted at the road and relaxed a little moving my hands on the wheel.

Her words soothed my worries that I shouldn't be going with her. A tingle went down my spine as she said I was the rest of her life, and I realised how stange that sounded when we were literally meaning it for just the short time we had. I frowned trying to understand her as she spoke. Did she still think I'd think she was crazy like the others at school? I sighed, checking her voice to see if this wasn't just to cover up what was really bothering her. She seemed to be truthful and my face turned soft. I leaned closer to her rather than to the window. Looking at her profile from the side I explained with slight disbelief "Do you think I'm going to judge you by what your parents are like?" I laughed a relieved, quiet laugh. "Anna, I love you for who you are, and noones going to change that". It took me a while to realise what I had said, causing my body to freeze momentarily, worried about Annas reaction. I didn't know how Anna felt about using the word love, but I wouldn't take it back. It had slipped out, yet it was still true no matter when I said it. I looked away and then glanced at her.

I was afraid of what I was going to get in return. But something else had come out. He was judgmental? He wouldn't judge me by someone else....why would I even think james would even go there. I smiled when he laughed at my stupid curiosity. He then said something that I would have never thought he would bring up right now...he had said he loved me. I saw him freeze at his own words. I wasn't as shocked at what he had said but something that surely surprised me. I gulped; I didn't know what to say? My lips pulled back and it was silent. He glanced at me and I didn't do it back.

I reminded myself to blink and then I looked back out the side window, clearing my throat. She hadn't said anything. From my earlier glance, it looked like she had stopped. She'd obviously heard it and taken it that way. Of course I meant it that way, but I wasn't focusing on that when I was saying how I wouldn't change my view on Anna ever. Why was I so careless? What if she completely got the wrong idea, or didn't think the same of me! I cringed at the awkward silence, knowing I'd made the tension even worse. I just hoped she didn't think what I had said was a bad thing. I tried to act as though nothing happened "Where er, Where abouts is it?" looking out the front window as if I was really interested in it's location.

I looked over at him and back and the road. Maybe I had loved him back...I wasn't so sure. He changed the subject. I thought with my eyebrows pulling together. "Were here..." I said my voice sounding unsure. I could see the asylum now, it was small and squished in a bunch of trees. I took the car into the lot of the asylum and parked. I cut the engine and turned to look over at him. "It's okay James." and I just turned to get out. Hoping it wouldn't start something. The way I had said it was straight forward with no smile. Like I meant it. I hadn't said the actual words, just wanted to sooth him.

What did she mean by it's okay? Was she acting as though I should apologise for what I said, or that she didn't feel the same way and was making up for it? Great, more riddles to not be able to work out. "Huh?" I murmured, but she had gotten out of the car. My face was confused and then I turned and stepped out of the door, closing it behind me. I knew she wouldn't explain and the silence she had left open made me feel embarrased. I started to really regret saying what came in to my head. I didn't mean 'I love you' and I knew she had taken it that way. I looked around and saw that the place was smaller than I had imagined and started to walk towards the entrance, putting my hands in my pockets.

I looked at him as he got out. I thought I had heard something but I wasn't sure. I didn't know if he meant "love" like I love you....or was it just something that slipped out. It was okay, it was trully okay of what he said. I was fine with it. I pushed that away and walked towards the asylum walking somewhat near him. As we entered the asylum, a clerk had smiled to James and then it faded as she looked at me. I remembered her, the last time I was here, when I was 12, when they had dropped my parents off. She looked at me with eyes that scared me a little. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was too...significant to my life...

I walked closer to her as we went inside, trying to not make it seem we were keeping our distance. The woman behind the desk as we entered smiled at me and then looked at Anna. They both looked at eachother for longer than usual, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Of course, they must know eachother somehow. Anna would have been in here lots to see her family, no? Also, we didn't even need to say anything before she directed us down a hallway. "Thanks" I replied warmly as we set off down the corridor. I glanced at Anna to see how she was and around at the different doors and the plain white walls.

I followed the clerk and James down the hall. She couldn't stop glancing at me. I nodded her with a smile. I knew where her room was I could have just walked there with no intention. I looked up at James and looked away. It was still quiet. Too quiet. I sighed and stopped in front of the door in which my parents were. I turned around to face James. "You can stay out here if you want to, or come in if you'd like." I said looking up at him.

I caught her looking at me from the corner of my eye which pleased me as she wasn't ignoring me. We reached the door and suddenly I felt quite nervous. She asked me whether I wanted to stay here or go in. "What do you want me to do?" I asked. I couldn't tell by her actions if she wanted me to go in with her. She might have wanted some time first without me.

I smiled with my heart pleading. I sighed. I wanted to go in by myself right now and then later maybe he can come in. Truth was I wanted James everywhere...right next to me. "Can I go in by myself....if you don't mind?" I was feeling all hot on the inside having my skin on the outside freezing. You could tell by how I spoke of how nervous I was. James could be nervous, but maybe not.

"Of course" I said with a genuine smile. I held her hand in both of mine for a moment, my warm skin heating hers and looked into her eyes deeply. I could tell she was nervous and I really wanted to make her feel relaxed. "I'll go get something to eat" I added quietly and then let go of her, walking backwards down the corridor. I glanced back at her stood next to the door to give her a reassuring smile and then turned the corner. I found the eating area easily and bought a sandwich to sit down and eat. There weren't alot of people here, but enough that I could occupy myself in people watching. My mind still thought of Anna though, and how she would be feeling right now. I was glad she had the opportunity to see them before our time ran out. The thought made me feel very bad for Anna and her family. Anna especially as she knew that this might be the last time she saw them. I slumped down further in my seat as I ate, my stomach grasping at the source of food.