After dinner, Draco caught Snape's eye. Snape slowly stood up from his seat, as if he'd just finished his dinner, and came striding down past the house table, stopping to talk with a few students, mostly fifth- and seventh-years. OWL and NEWT students, Draco realized with admiration. Snape was really very clever about blending in.

"Something wrong, Draco?" Pansy asked him suddenly.

"What? No. Why do you ask?" Draco replied, aware that his voice was wobbly.

"You're staring at Snape," she said, sounding uncomfortable.

"Just wondering why he put me with Potter in Potions," he invented, which was true enough.

"Ooh, that must have been awful," Pansy replied on cue. "I bet Potter tried to sabotage everything you did."

"Mmhmm," Draco agreed absently, and then Snape had reached him.

"Draco, if you'll come with me now, I can show you the potion you asked about," Snape said smoothly.

Pansy goggled. "What potion?" she mouthed.

"Later," Draco mouthed back. He put down his utensils and napkin, slung his bookbag over his shoulder, and followed Snape out of the Great Hall.

Snape silently led him back to his office, the small, cramped room off of the Potions classroom. Once they were inside, he locked and warded the door, and directed Draco to sit.

"Now, Draco," he said. "Speak plainly. I will tell no one of this conversation."

"Not even Dumbledore?" Draco asked without thinking, then added, thinking in for a Knut in for a Galleon, "Not even the Dark Lord?"

"If it is within my power to keep this conversation secret, I will do so," Snape said solemnly. "And that is the best promise that I can make you."

Draco nodded. "I, er, well." It was hard. Where to start? I don't think I want to be a Death Eater, Professor, it doesn't seem that much fun.

No.

"What's it like being a Death Eater?" he finally asked.

Snape raised an eyebrow and frowned. "It's a lot of work, hard work. Emotionally tiring, physically exhausting, and morally dubious."

Well. That had been honest.

"Do you enjoy it?"

"I choose not to answer that question, Draco." Snape regarded Draco pointedly.

"Fair enough," Draco replied. "Er, well then. Does my father intend me to be a Death Eater?"

"Has he not already made that clear to you? But naturally. The Malfoy heir will follow in his father's footsteps, as will Crabbe, Nott, Goyle, Parkinson, and all the rest."

"What would happen—" Draco hesitated, then rephrased his question. "Has anyone ever stopped being a Death Eater?"

"Plenty, but none have lived long afterwards. Please, Draco, speak plainly," Snape said, leaning forward across the desk. "I cannot help you unless I know your problem."

Bugger you, thought Draco furiously, you know my problem, why are you making me speak it out loud? Then he said, cautiously, "It doesn't seem to me that I'd be able to continue getting top marks if I were to add Death Eater activities to my life."

"No, I doubt that would be the case. School is a full-time activity and should take up all of your effort right now."

"Would—would you be willing to speak with my father?" Draco asked. "Just... just help me delay him a little?"

Snape sighed, as if Draco had not quite said what he was hoping would be said. "Yes, of course, Draco. Remember that I am your godfather, however little I saw of you as a child, and would go to great lengths for you."

Coming from Snape, that was almost a misty-eyed confession of affection. Draco let out a relieved breath of held air. "Thanks. I'm just... not ready yet."

"It's a big decision," Snape agreed neutrally. "You are still very young, and should spend time focusing on your schooling."

"Why do you speak of it as if I have a choice?"

"Because you do," Snape said calmly. He stood up. "Thank you for coming to me, but I think it is time you go. I will speak with Lucius on your behalf." He smiled, almost warmly. "Do express to your classmates the fascinating properties of the Isis Draught, which causes the drinker to change colors based on his or her moods."

"Does it really?" Draco asked, distracted despite himself.

"Yes," Snape replied, handing him a small phial. "This will no doubt cause endless amusement in the Common Room tonight. I suggest you give it to Millicent Bulstrode while she is around Mr. Crabbe. If she does not turn fluorescent pink I will be quite surprised. There's a guide to the color meanings in your Potions textbook," Snape said.

"Thanks," said Draco, taking the phial and tucking it away. Millie and Vince? They'd make a fine pair, he thought, smirking at the mental image.

"Any further questions you have, Draco," said Snape, gripping him on the shoulder as he was about to open his office door, "should be directed at the Headmaster. He is a very generous and understanding wizard."

"Thank you," Draco said, and meant it.

Harry didn’t stay in the dining all for too long, he ate quickly and left saying he had some work to finish. He was sure Ron believed him, and Hermione didn’t. But he was also sure Hermione knew he needed to think things through on his own, and come to his own solution, deal with things on his own. Sometimes people couldn’t help you get over certain things, or make them go away; sometimes you had to do that. Ever since he had come back to life, he had been seeing Voldemort everywhere he went.

Like before he got on the train, all summer beforehand he had been seeing Voldemort everywhere, it was like he was his Shadow always following him everywhere. At night in his dreams he would re-live what happened that night, watching Cedric die, watching Voldemort come back, seeing his parents, everything he remembered just like it had happened yesterday. And while others had moved on from that, for Harry it had felt just like it had happened yesterday, something he would probably never get over, ever.

His nightmares had only fueled his cousin’s fire, and had made things worse. He used that against him, not to mention he made sure to tell his Aunt and Uncle everything that went on between them. And to make matters worse Harry couldn’t use magic without getting expelled from school, though pulling out his wand and threating to use Magic was usually enough to get all three of them to leave him alone, for a while at least. The best part of his summer was the end when he got to spend the last few days with the Weasleys and he got to go shopping for his school stuff. Returning to school was always the highlight of his summer, funny most kids hated going back to school, but for him it was all he wanted all summer.

Just as Harry was rounding a corner he spotted Snape and Draco go into his office, alone. He stood there for a moment to make sure they didn’t see him. He was half tempted to stand by the door and listen in on their conversation but decided it against it. He walked past the door and headed down a different hallway where he stopped and leaned against the wall. He really wanted to go back and listen to what was going on, but he had a little bit of respect for Draco now and if he was caught what little progress they had made would be lost, if he wanted him to know he would tell him. Besides he had so much to worry about already he didn’t need more on his plate, and he got the feeling listening in on that conversation might make things worse for him. Maybe he would run into Draco, he was planning on it, he was interested as to what went on during potions class, and where they stood, which from his viewpoint looked like they were becoming friends.

((Gah, I don't know why this thread never shows up as unread in my subscriptions!! Sorry for the delay; I thought I was waiting for you to post!))

---

Draco left Snape's office feeling rather relieved. The churning of undigested food in his stomach subsided as he closed the door with a long-drawn-out sigh. Snape might not be able to prevent Lucius from coming to claim Draco, but he'd probably be able to delay it another six months. Maybe a year?

Thinking about his possibilities, Draco began walking towards the Slytherin common room. Maybe he could simply get through this school year, finish his OWLs successfully, and then -- what? Leave the country? He could flee to France, where they had some distant relatives. Or America. New York had a huge wizarding contingent, as did San Francisco, apparently. Though he'd heard that the San Diego magical community was wonderfully laid-back and relaxed. Then again, that much sun on his complexion...

Draco, lost in these thoughts, rounded a corner and walked straight into someone. He was about to lash out angrily with a "Watch where you're going!" (despite the fact that it had been his fault) when he noticed it was Potter.

"Oh," he said, deflating a bit. "It's you. What are you doing hanging around this hallway? It'll be full of Slytherins soon."

The thought of his housemates seeing him and Potter together, not dueling, left him cold.

[[It’s okay, if you want me to I can tell you when I post]]

He had been in there for a while, what was going on? What was so important that they were in there talking for that long, whatever it was he really wanted to know. It was like that forbidden fruit you couldn’t have but you wanted it anyway. He could just listen in for a few moments, Draco would never have to find out about it, but knowing him he would feel guilty about it and end up ratting himself out. Maybe he would just wait a little while in till he came out and talk to him a bit, but then maybe he wouldn’t believe him if he said he didn’t listen.

Harry was about to leave when Draco walked into him. He couldn’t help but laugh a little, at what just had happened. If this was a year ago, they probably would have killed each other, for such an accident. “Good Question, I really don’t know why I’m in this hallway” he said. He really didn’t remember why he had went the way he did, maybe he had went that way because he wished to run into Draco? No way, there was no way that was the reason “I saw you head into Snapes office, and it was extremely hard to resist the urge to listen in on it” he said honestly. He hadn’t heard anything that was said, but he had wanted to listen in on it, badly at that.

“Are you okay?” He asked, remembering what had happened in potions class, and now the conversation with Snape made him wonder even more if he was okay. He didn’t really expect Draco to tell him anything though, they didn’t have that type of relationship and they were supposed to be enemies not friends who trusted each other, which they weren’t.

((It showed up fine this time. *puzzled*))

---

Draco almost wished Harry had listened in; that way he wouldn't feel the urge to tell him, to confide in him.

"Just... talking," he said evasively. "About—about the future... Anyway, for now you need to get out of here," he added urgently. "If the Slytherins—" He broke off, because he could hear voices coming down the hallway.

Quickly, he grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him towards a nearby door which he knew led to an empty classroom. "In here!" he hissed, hurrying inside.

---

((I had the idea that Draco and Harry could be forced to hide together in cramped confines, like a cupboard, which could lead to, well, interesting situations! :D ))

[[Haha, I like that idea]]

Harry looked at him “Huum, you were talking for a pretty long time” he said. Hearing Draco talk about it, just made him want to know details even more but he wasn’t going to ask, he wouldn’t pry. There current friendship was like that of a thin thread, easy to snap and break, they weren’t even really friends, most like they were getting along after years of fighting. “Okay… I’ll go” He said and then heard the voices, seemed like it was too late for that now

Harry didn’t resist when Draco pulled him inside, he knew that what he was doing was for his benefit, which surprised him. He could have gotten out of the problem alone, but now if they found them together, Draco would have to make up some excuse as well “You should have left, I could have handled it you know, now if they find us together you’ll be in trouble to” He said

Draco shook his head. "They won't find us. No one comes into this classroom unless—"

The door opened. Two giggling figures nearly fell in, fumbling at each other's clothes, kissing passionately through the giggles.

"In here!" hissed Draco, pushing Harry into a wardrobe and shutting the door most of the way behind him. He turned around and peered through the crack.

"Oh, come on..." murmured a girl's voice. Pansy?

"I thought you were after Draco," said a boy. Ted Nott?

Pansy giggled unpleasantly. "Only as long as his father pays me," she said. She appeared to be licking Nott's neck. "Draco's boring and standoffish. Besides, I don't think he's into girls."

Nott sniggered. "I think you're right. He's always talking about Potter, anyway."

"What you might call a love/hate relationship," said Pansy, opening Nott's shirt and kissing her way down.

Nott sucked in his breath. "How low do you go, Pansy?" he asked in what he clearly thought was a seductive voice.

"Want to find out?" said Pansy, sounding like a bad imitation of pornography.

Draco shuddered violently. That traitorous bitch, spreading rumors. He'd known his father was paying her to spy, but he'd thought that was because she was his girlfriend, not in order to make her his girlfriend! He wanted to jump out of the cupboard and strangle her, but knew that would be a Really Stupid Idea.

Harry could hardly believe what he was over hearing was actually going on. He felt bad for Draco as soon as he overheard what had been said about him, he was pretty sure he knew who the female voice was now. As for the male voice he wasn’t too sure, he wasn’t around them enough to know them by heart, nor did he care to.

He glanced over at Draco, and reached out and put his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him without words. Talking would be a bad idea, if they were over heard there would be big problems, especially if Draco lost his temper. But then again, staying in the closet and witnessing what was about go happen wasn’t the best idea either.

He couldn’t help but wonder why Pansy had said, she thought he wasn’t interested in girls. And what she meant by he was always talking about him. Was she implying that Draco was interested in him, in a romantic way? Yeah right there was no way that was true, she was probably just trying to make an excuse for her actions, which were clearly that of cheating.

Harry leaned a bit closer to him “I think it’s best for you, to not lose your temper, on the other hand if you want me to walk out, and stop things, I will” he said. If Draco was to walk out Harry was sure the scene would be horrible, although it wouldn’t be must better when Harry walked out, it was sure to be less of a fight. If Harry was in Draco’s position he probably wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut and would be extremely pissed off.

"No," Draco said in a tense voice. "I want to hear what else she says."

Though as Pansy and Nott were kissing again, they weren't likely to say anything much.

"But... thanks," he mumbled. The words felt weird to say. "It's... kind of you to offer."

As Pansy began to engage in a sexual act that Draco would rather not have witnessed, he tried to worm backwards to get his face away from the cracked-open door of the cupboard. He could feel Harry's body next to his, felt the comforting hand on his shoulder. He reached up and gripped Harry's hand, like a drowning man grabbing onto whatever support he could hold.

"I could kill her," he said softly. "I really could, you know? I know the curse. And she'd deserve it, even if I wasn't attracted to her in the first place."

Nott had hauled Pansy up, and the two staggered over to a much-disused couch, long stained with the remains of similar activities. He began doing things to Pansy that made her moan loudly, so Draco didn't worry about his whispers being heard.

Harry looked over at him “Okay” He said a bit skeptical he doubted letting Draco hear what else they had to say was a good idea. He was tempted to walk out, and go against what Draco had wanted, but he didn’t want to make his mood worse than it already was, and it was clearly pretty bad.

“You’re welcome, even if you are a git, you shouldn’t have to have people like this in your life” he said. He didn’t know what it was like to have people such as Pansy around, he only had wonderful people surrounding him, which wanted the best for him and would never go behind his back and do such a thing.

Harry moved back as far as he could, so Draco didn’t have to watch what was going on, he was glad he didn’t have to watch, but he would rather it be him than Draco. He could only imagine how hard it was for him to witness this. What was going to happen the next few days? He could feel Draco close to him, and surprisingly it wasn’t a bad feeling, it was relaxing in a sense. As relaxing as it could be in a situation such as this.

“I know you could, but she isn’t worth it Draco” He said softly and turned and looked at him “You know, someday you will find someone who wants to be you’re friend simply because they like you and aren’t getting paid” He said with a soft smile “Look, we aren’t fighting, I’m being nice to you, I think you’re a decent person, and I’m not getting paid to say any of that, or to believe it” he said. He didn’t know if that would help him feel better, but he was hoping it did at least a little bit.

Draco let out a deep breath and squeezed the hand he held. Harry's hand felt good in his. Supportive, friendly. Not expecting anything, just being there.

"So, are you saying you're willing to be my friend?" he asked. The words were strange. He'd never thought about friendship as something that simply fell into your lap; it had always been either bought by him or his father, or induced through threats. Draco suddenly had another one of those world-turning-upside-down moments. What was friendship? What was the point of it? Why involve other people in your life? What advantages were to be had on either side?

At that point Pansy let out an exultant moan that Draco instinctively felt was fake, and Nott grunted several times. "Gah," he said disparagingly. "Sex looks awfully silly from the outside."

Harry returned the squeeze, in a way he was telling him he was there for him, even if they didn’t see eye to eye and didn’t get along for the majority of the time they had known each other. Maybe, now it was finally time to let go of past grudges and move on. Though Harry himself had never really had a grudge against Draco, it was him who had started it all. All because of his last name, it was silly, what a name could cause.

“I suppose that’s what I’m saying” he said. He hadn’t thought of it that way, but indirectly that was, what he had said. And Harry was willing to give it a try, after all they were getting along pretty well, friendship sounded like a good idea “That is, if you’re willing to give it a try” He said. He didn’t expect it to be an open friendship, it would be that of a secret, Draco had more to worry about then he did. If Hermione and Ron found out, they would eventually come to deal with it.

Harry almost laughed at what he had said but held it in “Well it’s not exactly something meant to be watched like this” He said. At least Draco seemed calmer now, like he wasn’t as angry anymore “You seem a little, bit… less angry” he said. He could tell by how he was talking, and he didn’t look like he was ready to murder someone.

Nott clambered off Pansy with a satisfied grin. Draco could see that Pansy was smiling her brittle smile, the one that means she really didn't enjoy what was going on but would pretend for the sake of furthering some goal.

"That was good," she said breathily, and Draco almost gave himself away with a startled choke.

Fortunately, Nott was talking. "Yeah," he said, sounding really stupid, "you're really good, Pansy. I'm ready to go again anytime," he added suggestively, pointing downward.

Oh, no, not again, Draco groaned inwardly.

Pansy's expression changed from one of fake happiness to one of moderately real happiness. "I want to be on top this time," she declared, and pushed Nott into the sofa, straddling him.

"I'm not angry," Draco said softly to Harry, under the renewed sounds of fifteen-year-olds having sex. "I'm upset, disappointed, annoyed, frustrated, and still scared of my father, no matter how many reassurances Snape gives. And I'm really sick of seeing Pansy fake her way through sex," he added, with a thumb over his shoulder at the scene taking place.

Harry listened to what was being said, and immediately didn’t like what he had heard. They had to do it again? Like once wasn’t enough, Draco had to witness it again, and he could only imagine, how seeing it twice would feel, probably not much better than it had the first time.

Harry looked at him and gave him a soft smile “Things, will get better for you, and will work out in your advantage, sooner or later” he said and reached out and hugged him as best he could in the confined space without making any noise. He wasn’t so good with advice, and he didn’t know what to say to make him feel better, or even if there was a way to make him feel better “For now, you can come to me when you need someone to talk to, or just want someone around” He said softly.

He wasn’t really worried about them being over heard, even if they were talking loud enough to be heard the sounds the others were currently making would drowned out any talking they made. In fact, they would have probably been able to sneak out if they were quiet, but there was the risk that they could get caught “I’m sorry, this is my fault that you had to be around and see this” he said. If he hadn’t been in that hallway Draco wouldn’t have had to see anything that just happened, he felt bad, because no matter what anyone said, it was his fault.

Draco felt his throat catch when Harry hugged him. He couldn't remember anyone hugging him, except his mother, and lately she'd been afraid to. Afraid of her own son, of what he would become. He knew his eyes were watering, and was grateful for the darkness of the cabinet that Harry wouldn't be able to see his tears.

"Thanks," was all he could get out past the lump in his throat. "I will. It's not really your fault we're here, though," he said once he'd swallowed and regained some control. "If I'd dragged us to a room other than this one, we'd've been fine."

But if we hadn't wound up in this closet, we might not have wound up friends, was what he didn't say.

Finally, with a genuine scream, Pansy finished, and Nott looked horribly annoyed, as clearly he hadn't finished. He tried to keep going, but Pansy clambered off him and with a quick wave of her wand was cleaned and dressed.

"Cheers!" she said two seconds later, opening the door to the corridor. "You can come and see me anytime, Teddy."

Draco heard the door close, heard Nott swearing loudly, then, after a breathless moment, heard Nott leave as well.

Harry was still hugging him, though, and so Draco made no moves to leave.

Harry wasn’t sure why, but he felt like he shouldn’t let go, at least yet anyway, and Draco hadn’t pushed him away, and he hadn’t hugged him back either, which meant he wasn’t against it but he wasn’t for it either. He didn’t know what he could do to be comforting, that wasn’t his thing, that was more of a Hermione trait, him he wasn’t so good at it

“You’re welcome” he said with a soft smile “It is, because if I hadn’t wondered into that hallway you wouldn’t have had to drag me into a room in the first place” he said. Although Draco could have just walked away and let him deal with the Slytherin’s himself, he hadn’t he had tried to help him, and that made him happy “You went out of your way to help me, you aren’t such a bad person” he said

Once they were finished he was happy and relieved, that Draco had not done anything rash, and that this experience was over, and would hopefully never happen again, he certainly did not want to listen or see such a thing again. Once they were out of the room, he realized he was still hugging Draco and he probably couldn’t move to get out “Ah, sorry” he said and quickly let go of him, and pushed the doors open, and stepped out.

((Okay, I really have to get off Menewsha and work! So this is my last post for the day. I probably won't be on again until Saturday.))

---

Draco felt a little sad sigh escape him as Harry left the wardrobe. Well, the moment was over, the crisis past.

"Thanks," he mumbled again. Harry was such a bright and open person, he realized—not at all the sneaky manipulative bastard he'd thought earlier. "I'm sorry," he said, looking up and meeting Harry's eyes. "I've been a really stupid git all these years."

---

((Sorry it's a short post; my "professor" -- a grad student like me but who's leading the class -- just called and was all, "Grades? Up on website? Nowkthx?" so I should go. *guilty*))

Harry didn’t really want to leave, it was somehow relaxing and made him forget about everything going on in his life, when he was around Draco. He found himself wanting to be around him, Draco had problems just like himself, they had more in common then he had originally thought.

Harry stared at him a big blankly when he heard the word sorry come out of Draco’s mouth. Had he just apologized? It sure seemed like that, he had never imagined such a word escaping his lips “It’s fine” he said with a soft smile and looked back at him “Everyone deserves a second chance, don’t you think?” He asked. He wasn’t sure if Draco would believe that, but Harry did, and he was willing to give Draco a chance if he was willing to do the same for him.

[[It’s alright I understand]]

"Thanks," mumbled Draco. He felt a flush creeping up the back of his neck to his ears. "I... er... I should go. Back to my common room. Face the enemy and all that."

Impulsively he shot forward and gave Harry a quick hug before fleeing, wondering why his heart was pounding and his head spinning—not with images of Pansy on top of Nott, Merlin's pants no, but with the sensations of being near Harry.

His feet pounded down the corridor towards the common room, now wondering what, if anything, he should say to Pansy. Should he hint that he knew she was cheating? Or simply let her drop?

He slowed down as he approached the dungeon door, hesitating, indecisive. Maybe he could just walk in there and jinx her, curse her—he stopped dead. That, he told himself, was a great idea. He could curse Pansy, secretly, to give her an insatiable sexual appetite. She'd be bound to be caught with at least one person, and then he could become righteously indignant.

Oh, but she might actually come to him for—no, she wouldn't. They'd tried having sex once, and it had been woefully ineffectual. "Is it in yet?" had preceded "I can't feel anything" which had been followed by "You're done already?"

No, Pansy would not turn to him for sex. She'd hang on his arm, go to official school events with him, out to Hogsmeade with him, spy on him... but she'd never again want to get intimate, no matter how desperate. Besides, with Nott at her disposal...

Draco at last entered the common room, pretending a confidence he didn't feel. He'd have to get Pansy alone for this, and then Obliviate her after the curse. But he could work that out; he didn't think it would be a problem.

---

((Couldn't resist coming back once more to post! Feel free to go on with Harry; I'll finish this scene on Saturday.))

Harry looked at Draco and nodded “Don’t do anything you’ll regret” He said with a soft smile. Although he had a feeling his warning would be in vain, and Draco would indeed do something. But under the circumstances, she probably deserved whatever it was that was coming.

“Be careful” He said softly as Draco hugged him, he hugged him back before letting go and watching him leave. It was probably getting late now, and he knew Ron and Hermione where going to be worried about him, so shortly after Draco, left, he left himself to go back up to his common room.

He was right as soon as he got upstairs, Ron and Hermione where there with that worried look on their faces, mostly Hermione. Ron didn’t seem to worry often, Hermione on the other hand worried all the time, it came natural to her.

“Where have you been? It’s late Harry” She said

“I got a little lost… exploring new hallways” He said. Lie, he hadn’t gotten lost but he wasn’t about to tell her where he had really been, there was no way he was going to tell Her or Ron about that.

“Lost? And they call me an idiot” Ron said

“Haha, I have some homework to do, I’m going to go finish it” He said and left the room before either of them had a chance to respond.

He hadn’t lied, he did have some homework to finish, and he just left out the part about the homework not being due tomorrow. He thought about attempting to do it, but he doubted he’d actually get any work done; he was too busy thinking, about what had happened.

So much had happened in such a short period of time, him and Draco had agreed to be friends. Although the situation it was under was bad, they had put their differences aside, and got along for once. He couldn’t help but feel bad for Draco, just like Harry had things going on in his life, that could ruin his day instantly, it seemed as if Draco did as well.

What he really couldn’t shake off, was the feeling he got from being close to him. It was comfortable being near him, and relaxing, and he didn’t want that feeling to go away, he liked it too much to just let it go. Odd thing was he had never felt that way with anyone else before, the feeling was new, and strange to him. It was different but he found himself liking it and wanting more.

Draco spotted Pansy at once and walked over to her, trying to remember how he usually greeted her. The thought of pecking her on the cheek or touching her at all made him feel shriveled up inside, so he simply settled himself in a chair opposite her, playing with his wand. He could do this wandless, couldn't he?

"Hey," he said casually.

Pansy glanced up at him. Now that he was watching her carefully, he could see the calculating quality of her gaze, see the little cogs turning inside her horrid, well-paid mind. She was thinking of the best thing to say to get him to tell her where he'd been all afternoon.

"Missed dinner," he said easily. "Anything good for pudding?"

"Treacle tart," Pansy answered at once. "I missed you, Draco dear," she added, tilting her head coquettishly to the side. "What were you doing?"

"Oh, Snape wanted to talk to me," Draco said, sticking to the truth.

"What about?" Pansy asked, and came over to sit on the arm of his chair. Perfect.

It was odd, the way he could now hear other meanings behind her words: She sounded like she was simply making conversation, letting her boyfriend talk about his day. She began ruffling his hair, and Draco put an arm around her, ignoring the shudders it sent through his stomach.

"Oh, an essay," Draco said, shrugging. He took out his wand and began playing with it. "Wanted to fix a misunderstanding it turned out I had about the properties of burdoch before we moved on to the next step."

"He must really like you," Pansy said.

Draco shrugged again. "I guess so. He and my father were in school together. And he's always coming round the mansion during summers."

He aimed his wand at Pansy and thought, Priapus. Aloud he said, "Which is something you didn't do last summer. I always had to come to your place. Why?"

Pansy swallowed, obviously feeling the first effects of the curse. Draco tried not to smile. "Oh," she said, sounding wobbly. "I... I just..."

"Yes?" Draco found he was enjoying himself. Pansy was squirming and looked flushed.

"Too busy," she said quickly. "Gotta go," she mumbled, and made a beeline for Nott.

Draco simply watched as she draped herself over Nott and began kissing him passionately.

The entire common room went silent at this, and a bunch of people turned around to stare at Draco. Draco pretended to glare at her. "Slut!" he shouted. "Fine, go off with Nott for all I care. You've never put out for me!"

Pansy stood up and retorted, "Like I ever wanted you, Draco. I was only hanging on your arm because your father told me to!" Then she looked shocked and covered her mouth, as if she didn't mean to say that. "I mean... I..."

Then, as if she couldn't take it anymore, she grabbed Nott by the hand and dragged him out of the common room, probably to the nearest empty room for a second round of what he and Harry had witnessed that afternoon.

Draco stood up and straightened his shoulders. "Fine," he said to no one in particular. "I'm well rid of you." As if simply sick of the whole situation, he flung himself out of the chair and over to his dormitory, where he began angrily memorizing his History notes.

He wasn't upset at Pansy; far from it. He was upset at how easy it had been to cast the curse, that near-Unforgivable. He was scared of his own power, of how far he'd let himself go towards the Dark already, without even really trying. He hadn't been lying to Harry in the cupboard, about knowing the Avada Kedavra curse. He knew it, he'd used it -- but never on a person. He'd brought down large game on the family lands with the curse, out hunting with his father.

What made him angry was that he no longer felt like he knew himself.

Harry smiled to himself softly as he got out his school work, maybe this year wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it would be. He had come to friendly terms with someone who had hated him since they first met. It was something that seemed almost impossible, no matter how many times he thought about it, that they could be friends. They, well most Draco had gone through all that trouble to make Harry’s life a living hell, every day, every time he could. However, it wasn’t like he had actually physically harmed him, and maybe Draco wasn’t such a bad guy after all, if he didn’t give him a chance it was something he would never know. Like at the beginning, if he hadn’t given Ron or Hermione a chance, he would be missing out on friends he treated like family. It was kind of funny, thinking about how different things could have been if he had not meet them, he was sure if he hadn’t he wouldn’t be as happy as he was now. Hermione and Ron had been through a lot for him, it seemed like everywhere Harry went, trouble was sure to follow, and they didn’t mind, they stuck with him, he really was lucky to have them.

It was rare to find a friend who would actually stick with you, through thick and thin and that was what he had, friends who would always be there. He knew very well, that was something Draco lacked, especially after what he overheard Pansy saying, his father paying him to date him, knowing something like that had to be horrible. Maybe, if someone was Draco’s friend honestly he would change, and open up, and become nicer. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must be, going through every day knowing, your friends were paid to spy on you, and were possibly only your friends because they were paid, a horrible feeling that must be completely. Harry wanted to give Draco a chance, to hopefully become a friend he could trust, and learn to open up to. He knew how painful it was to be alone, he had been alone in till he had come to Hogwarts. Sure he had his Aunt, Uncle and cousin, but they treated him horribly, and in truth he was alone he had no one that genuinely cared for him, and now he did. Even if Draco was a git, he still deserved someone who he could trust, everyone did.

Once Harry got all his school stuff out, he pushed those thoughts out of his head, as much as he didn’t want to, he knew while he had free time he should finish his school work. He had learned that even if something wasn’t do the next day, if you had time you’d better do it because you couldn’t account for the homework teachers would pile on the next day. Something him and Ron had learned the hard way, and had earned a lecture from Hermione. He still didn’t have the best of work habits, but he was getting better, because he wanted to pass and didn’t always want to be shackled down with homework and staying up till insane hours of the night working on homework.

Draco woke up to find a large ink stain on the sheets near his left elbow and a book digging into his shoulder. He had to pee like right now. He could hear his dorm-mates snoring loudly and wondered what time it was. Finding his wand, he made a clock temporarily appear. 4:35 of the bloody morning. He groaned inwardly, and absent-mindedly Vanished the ink stain. It wasn't the first time that had happened. Contrary to popular opinion, he actually spent quite some time studying. His father had long ago insisted that he get higher grades than "that Mudblood," but Hermione Granger was awfully clever and he'd only bested her in Defense Against the Dark Arts in third year, when apparently she'd had a nervous breakdown during the final exam.

Draco swung himself out of the bed, threw off his wrinkled clothes from yesterday and slipped into a silk dressing gown that still smelled like Malfoy Mansion. It made him think of his mother, and her tired, blank face as, night after night, she listened to Lucius drone on about "When the Dark Lord is in power..." and "Someday the Malfoy name..." and "I just gave five bajillion Galleons to..." and "When Potter is dead..." He wished he could get her out from under his father's power, but that was even less likely than himself. He, at least, could easily go to Dumbledore if necessary.

He had reached the bathroom by the time he thought of Dumbledore. His half-awake brain was flitting easily from one random concept to another, in that odd phase of mental activity between dreaming and waking. He found that he wasn't just thinking of actual things that had happened, but was easily speculating impossibilities:

Lucius announcing at the dinner table that he was entering a Muggle monastery... Professor Snape smiling at Hermione Granger... the Death Eaters disbanding to pursue solo singing careers... what Harry's lips would feel like under his own...

He had been washing his hands when that thought came, and it jolted him out of his dreamy mental space. Kissing Harry? Why on earth had he been thinking of that? For that matter, why wasn't he vomiting and shuddering at the thought? Yes, they were friends now, of a sort, but kissing?

Why wasn't that more disgusting than watching Pansy with Nott had been?

Shaking his head as he dried his hands, Draco shuffled back to bed and magicked his school supplies into a neat pile on his desk. His was the only one that looked like it had ever been used; the other four boys always worked in the common room, often together, as Greg and Vince needed lots of help. Draco had long ago stopped helping them with homework, as they never seemed to benefit, and often simply wound up copying from Blaise or Ted Nott.

The space now clear, he fell into his bed, finding that he was still thinking of Harry's lips, Harry's touch. Hugging Harry. Brushing against him in Potions. Meeting his eyes, those green green eyes. The shape of Harry's face.

"Get out of my head," he muttered to the sleeping room.

But Harry wouldn't get out of his head, and as Draco's eyes drooped shut in sleep again, his thoughts of Harry turned decidedly erotic, in ways that would have horrified him had he been fully awake. He wondered with the part of his brain that wasn't occupied with wondering how much chest hair Harry had, or thinking about Harry's collarbones, whether he'd regret these thoughts in the morning.

He drifted into sleep, and his dreams were full of himself and Harry, bodies intertwining, lips, fingers, hands, hard bodies meeting hard bodies, muscle and flesh and sinew and sweat, and when he finally did wake up at a more normal hour, he had another, non-ink, stain on his sheets.

Once Harry finally pulled himself away from his school work and his thoughts to go to sleep, he found himself awake. It seemed like every time he closed his eyes and was close to getting to sleep, he found himself seeing visions of Draco, which killed any chance of him falling asleep. He could hardly believe the images that were passing through his head. He had tried multiple times to get to sleep, and each time it seemed like he had failed. Every time he would get close, he would be jolted awake by his own thoughts. That was kind of funny; he would end up suffering because of his own thoughts, which he didn’t seem to be able to shut off. He had agreed to be friends with him, that was it, nothing more than that, and he never imagined anything more than close friends, and what he was thinking about now was way more than close friends. What was going on with him? Was he losing it? Well, he had lost it a long time ago, with everything that he had been through he certainly was not sane anymore, but this was beyond anything he thought would happen. What was happening to him? This wasn’t something he was used, to, he had never experienced anything like this. Even when he had liked Cho, he never had anything cross his mind, like what was going through it now, and he had liked her.

Maybe the incident last year had knocked a few more screws loose then he had imagined. Maybe it was the stress of everything going on, but he found that, the people talking about him, believing him a liar wasn’t bothering him as much anymore. When he thought about it, Ron and Hermione, believed him and that was really all he could ask for. It was funny though how people who admired him and acted like they were his friends, once something bad came along, they didn’t believe him, it showed him who he could and couldn’t trust, and who were really his friends and not just interested in him because he was the boy who lived. Maybe there was something wrong with him, after all what normal person had such thoughts about someone they hardly even knew? He was sure if Draco found out about these thoughts, he wouldn’t want anything else to do with Harry, it would be a short lived friendship that pretty much never happened, something that would have only the images of his girlfriend cheating on him, to remember it by.

Finally he glanced over at the clock and gave up on the idea of getting to sleep. He quietly got out of bed, got dressed and got his school stuff and headed down to the common room. If he wasn’t going to sleep, he might as well distract himself from his thoughts, before they went too far, and went beyond what he was currently thinking. He might as well do something constructive with his time, if he wasn’t going to get any sleep, although he knew he would be forcing himself to stay awake in all his other classes, it wasn’t going to be a fun day.

By the time he had finished his school work, people were getting up and ready to head downstairs to have breakfast, and then head down to class. Before people started wondering down to the common room, he packed up his stuff and headed downstairs. Skip breakfast, that sounded like a fine idea, he wanted to avoid seeing Draco for as long as he could right now, he knew he would run into him eventually but for now he could prevent it. Once he got downstairs, he found an empty hallway, that no one would really come through except for one or two people and sat down on the floor, and leaned against the wall, just what was he going to do about this? If this happened every night it didn’t look like he would be getting much sleep, and he couldn’t afford that to happen.

Although, he wanted to avoid Draco, he also found himself wanting to see him badly. He wanted to make their friendship stronger and get closer to him, but the thoughts he had expressed something more than friendship, which confused him. What was he to do? Something had to be done, but what?

Draco went down to breakfast feeling like shit. There was no other way to express it: he felt like shit. He'd slept badly, woken up to find he'd had a wet dream about Harry Potter, and now wondered why he bothered living.

He was gay, he'd realized upon waking. Damn it all, he was a fag, a queer, a homosexual, "that way." Boys, he'd realized, staring down at the damp stain on his sheets, were gorgeous and hot, and he simply couldn't get enough of looking at them.

No wonder he couldn't stand Greg and Vince: they were butt-ugly.

So, as Draco walked down to breakfast with this newfound realization burning somewhere between his heart and his stomach, he wondered what he'd do when he saw Harry. Confess? "Hey, Potter, I think you're hot, want to go somewhere and kiss?" As if. No, he'd have to pursue Harry Potter (pursue Harry Potter? asked the part of him that was still standing slack-jawed back on the "normative heterosexual" side of his past fifteen years) as he'd pursued that girl when he was six.

Come to think of it, he'd not been interested in any girls since then, and little Marybeth Hamilton, who'd turned out to be a Squib so her parents had hustled off to America, had been quite the tomboy.

Draco slumped into his seat and dumped some food on his plate randomly. He discovered momentarily that he was trying to spread marmalade on a pickled herring, and snorted. Pull yourself together, Draco, he said fiercely. You're hardly the first wizard to discover that witches hold no allure. Come to think of it, weren't there rumors that Dumbledore was gay? At one-hundred-whatever-years-old, he ought to have several generations of great-great-grandchildren. The wizarding community put strong pressure on its members to breed and produce more magical offspring, and tended to look askance at anyone queer who chose "the other path." But Dumbledore was a special case, a very powerful wizard who could have decided to wear nothing but his underpants for the rest of his life, and everyone would have simply accepted it as another of his oddities.

Draco, though, knew that being gay would be yet another reason for his father to kill him. He took a bite and discovered that marmalade and pickled herring didn't taste that bad after all.

Maybe he'd go to Dumbledore after all -- not about the Death Eater thing, which suddenly seemed rather small and niggling. About what the hell he was supposed to do with his life if he really didn't want to get married and have children.