Love is not a sin


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Hayate Dievon Oniel

17
I live with my grandparents whome put me in a private school when i was 9. It wasn't the most fun transition but as long as I was with family. A few weeks before I moved here, I was living on a military base with my parents. I'm not exactly sure what happened to them but I think they got into an arguement with the wrong person. Anyway, I was basically raised with the word of God and now I'm going into my last year of highschool and I can already feel that something is about to change.

Shiki Araziki




18

I have always felt like an outsider to the world. I mean, I've always liked boys, but I can never seem to find the one. I know he's out there, waiting for me, but it's almost impossible to find him. I never fit into high school. The jocks always picked on me because I was gay. I only live with my dad because my mom, well...I don't want to talk about it...Anyways, he was always supportive of me being gay and all, which is great, I guess. If only there was someone for me who didn't care that I'm like this, didn't care that I was different, didn't care about it at all, and just loved me for who I am. That seems impossible...

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Shiki was walking down his favorite street, Hareo Road. It wasn't too busy, yet it wasn't too lonely. It was dotted with trees and pretty bushes that bloomed flowers every spring. It was a saturday, he had finished his homework, and his dad let him be with himself for a while. He would call his dad incase of an emergency. It was good his dad cared for him, maybe the only one that will ever love him for who he is. Shiki sighed. He shouldn't go on like this. He would have to find a way, some way, some how. He popped his iPod earphones in and turned on "My December" by Linkin Park. It was a nice, slow song that he could listen to while walking and glancing at his surroundings. One day he thought, just one day. Please let this be a day to remember. Please...

Hayate was walking to the store to get some things his grandmother forgot to get. He sighed trying to find the store. The thing his grandma needed was imported from a different country, which meant Hayate had to go to a store that sold that country's items. Thankfully it wasn't too far away.
He looked at the buildings as he walked, not paying attention to where he was going. The boy was shocked when he accidentally ran into someone. "OH! I'm sorry!" he said, recovering from almost falling backwards. Hfe looked to see a taller teen with short hair and headphones in.

Shiki almost gasped and made a slight jump when a guy maybe the same age as him bumped into him. He was about to grunt something, until he took a glance at the guy. He was a rather attractive guy, Shiki could say, with long brown hair and highlighted in different places and his beautiful eyes. He had a tiny crush on him, but that would soon go away. He probably had a girlfriend anyway. There was no point in asking. Shiki picked up his headphones from the ground, glad they were slightly shock-proof and smiled up at the boy.
"It's alright." he replied, "I tend to bump into people a lot." He made a sort of "guilty" smile. He didn't really want to end the conversation to end, so he said something that came rolling out of his tounge.
"Were you, err, looking for a particular shop?" He asked. Shiki saw him glancing at some shops moments before they crashed, but he didn't take much notice of him because of the music blasting in his ears. He hoped that the guy wouldn't think he was wierd and just walk off.

Hayate had a wierd feeling in his gut. Never experiancing love before, he didn't realize this was it. He nodded and added, "Yes, a little indoniesion shop.... My grandmother forgot to pick up some spices and she said it wasn't too far. So, here i am." He looked up at the buildings again and then back at the man before him. There was something about him that Hayate couldn't stop starring at. He wasn't sure what it was though. He pressed his lips together, in hopes that maybe he knew where this store was.

Shiki mentally perked up. He knew what the boy was talking about. The shop was just round the corner, smushed between to large and main buildings and almost unrecognisable. The shop was called Ramelan, and Shiki sometimes helped the old store clerk when it came to rearanging some things. He was always helpful, more like instinct. He was never like that in high school. Back there, he was quiet and stayed away from almost everyone. Speaking of which, Shiki sort of recognised the boy at second glance. Had the stranger gone to Shiki's school? He wouldn't have known, he was mostly a loner at times...

"Ah, I know exactly where that is." Shiki said, his smile never leaving from his face, "It's just down the road behind me, and you take a left. There's these two main buildings, I forgot their name. But they're pretty noticable, and between those buildings is that shop, the Ramelan. It's almost unrecognisable, yet stands out from the rest." Like a tour guide, Shiki hoped he didn't bore the handsome stranger too much.

"I could, err, show you where it is?" He said a bit questioningly. Then added, "Unless you already know the way by now, that's fine." to make himself un-creeper. He had already taken off his headphones by now so he can listen to the stranger.

"Oh. Well thank you," Hayate started to look around the boy, trying to see if he understood the way. Before he could continue walking, the other boy then said that he could show him. Hayate looked at the boy again and smiled, "That would be great."
Hayate waited for him to start leading the way and once he did, Hayate followed. "I'm Hayate. What's your name?" he started thinking the quietness of their walk was a little awkward.

Shiki paused for a brief moment, then continued walking towards the end of the street. Now that name rang a bell. He knew a Hayate in his maths and geography class; Shiki sat behind him. Why didn't he notice him before?
"Shiki." He replied. Would Hayate recognise him, as well? Maybe not. He kept to himself, and there were a lot of other Shikis in High School, who were taller and more buff than him.
"It's just 'round this corner. We're almost there." He said, breaking the silence. Pretty soon, two main buildings, like Shiki had described, came into his view, and instantly crossed the road, hoping Hayate would follow him. Ramelan was just a brown little house-like shop, slightly bigger than a hut. It had a lot of imported things and some cool things. The door swung open as Shiki pushed it, and a little bell rang.
"Hello, Shiki, I don't think I called you over, but feel free to browse!" The shopkeeper said, "Who is your friend?"

"Shiki, that's a nice name," Hayate commented. When it came to school, he paid no mind to anything but his studies, and of course divoting himself to the Lord above. He very rarely hung out with anyone and didn't talk much either. this left him friendless but he has many accuantances.
Upon seeing the shop, Hayate smiled. He walked across the street, stepping ontot he side walk just as the "don't walk" symbol appeared. He moved forward and got ahead of Shiki before opening the door. "Wow...." was all that he could say when he stepped inside. He's only seen the outside of the shop because he always had to stay outside with the car or the dog.

Shiki and the shopkeeper both gave a questioning glance to Hayate. He wondered if he had ever seen the inside. Probably not because of his expression.
"Ah, Oniel." Exclaimed Budi, the shopkeeper, "Your grandma had come here a few hours ago looking for some things. You are looking for some spices then?" Shiki glanced back at Budi. He didn't know how he knew what everyone needed that well, but it was pretty amazing.
"Oh, Shiki." Budi turned back to him, "You left something in the storeroom. You could go get it if you like. But mind you don't knock anything over." He winked. He was a nice, hearty, old man. He had thin gray hair that covered most of his scalp, and was never a grouch coming to his age.
"Alright, thanks." Shiki replied, quickly walking into the storeroom and closing the door behind him so no one could see him turn slightly pink. He really liked this Hayate, even if he didn't know him that well. He was a good student in class, always answered right and all that. He was quite cute too, his small, dark eyes made Shiki all...he couldn't even describe it. But could he tell that to Hayate? No, he dared not. He'd probably think he was really crazy. He found what he had been looking for, a mix cd that his mom gave for his birthday and liked to listen to often. He opened the door and glanced at Hayate, happily loooking at the spice section. So cute, he thought, Oh, how very cute he looks...

Hayate looked at the shop keeper, he was confused as to how the man knew who he was been then figured his grandmother told him something. He gave the old man a smile, nodding his head, "yes, my grandmother is making something from a cookbook she bought here. And she had forgotten some of the spices." Hayate found where the spices were at and walked over looking for the ones that his grandma needed. He pulled out a piece of paper with their names written on it and shortly after, he found them.
Hayate brought them to the counter to pay for them. And once he did, he walked out of the shop and looked back to see if Shiki had followed him.

Shiki heard Hayate leaving, but didn't want his meeting to end. Even if he saw him in school, it wouldn't be the same. He quickly dashed for Hayate, just before he left the door.
"Umm, Hayate, wait. I've been sort of meaning to ask. This may sound odd, but I think I've seen you in class. Do you...go to M.K High, by any chance?" He asked. If Hayate said no, than this would have been akward, but Shiki was pretty sure he had seen him in some classes. He had some slight feelings for this boy, and he didn't know why. He didn't want this meeting to be the last.

"Uh.... Well.... The Christian one... yes," he responded. He had to point that out because this town was not very creative with names. There was an M.K. High and then an M.K. Christian High. By this time, he had fully turned around to looked the other male in the eyes. Hayate suddonly felt a wierd urge to hold his hand and hug this boy. He made a funny face trying to put those thoughts out of his mind. He put his hands in his pants pockets just in case as well and stood there.
"Um... if you have seen me then I'm sorry, i don't recognize you. I devote school time to school work and God. But I did enjoy hanging out with you. I have to go home now..." he pause for a second then added, "hey, why don't you come over for dinner? My grandmother is a great cook."

Shiki sort of perked up again. Yes, he did go to the Christian one, but he didn't really devote himself to God so much. He didn't think God loved him because he was gay, but that was alright with Shiki. When Hayate had turned around, he had forgotten how cute he looked. He felt the slight urge to hold this boy in his arms and kiss him on the forehead. But since this boy was Christian, he must also meant he was straight, so that meant no touching him whatsoever. Then again, he had invited him to dinner. Did that mean..? Of course not! It's just a friendly gesture!
"It's fine, I rarely talk to people in high school as well, so it's all good. And that would be great, I'd love to go. I don't think my dad will mind." He replied, awaiting to be led to the house. He really couldn't wait to spend some time overnight with this boy...though he wasn't sure why...

Hearing the responce, Hayate smiled. He then turned back around and continued walking. The boy walked slow enough so that Shiki could catch up and walk next to him, but he kept his hands in his pockets just to be on the safe side. He was confused about his feelings and didn't want to make a sin just because of it. "You can call your father when we get to my house. that way he won't worry. And After dinner, I'll walk you home. I wouldn't want you getting lost," He said as they continued walking.
The two headed into a subdivision, taking lefts and rights almost every block. Hayate truely meant what he said about getting lost.

Shiki had already caught up slightly so now he was walking next to Hayate. He really wanted to hold his hand, so he left his hand free in case he did, too. Even if the guy was straight, he can be a bit playful and flirty for the time being. He nodded at Hayate's words, loving everything that came out of his rosy pink lips. It seemed endless swerves and turns until they had reached what seemed like Hayate's home. It was a nice little home, and Shiki smiled, again.

Hayate opened the door and stepped in taking his shoes off and waiting for his new friend. "I'm home Grandma! We have a guest for dinner! I hope it's ok," he called out but got quieter as his grandmother came into view.
"Of course it's ok Hayate. Hello there, Just call me Grandma. Come ing and sit down," the old woman took Shiki's hand, smiling and pat the hand she held. She then turned back towards the way she came and walked back.
"Come on, we can watch tv or something," the boy walked towards the stairs and up them.

Shiki took of his shoes and smiled at the elderly woman. She had a nice smile and was really gentle. He followed Hayate up the stairs and into a nice room with a tv and such. He waited for Hayate to sit on the couch as to not be very rude. He sat beside him as he flipped the tv's channels. He glanced at Hayate's hand and wonder if he should hold it or not. He'd certainly be kicked out of the house if he did anything wierd on Hayate. But who knows, maybe he was Bi, at least. Or maybe not. He left his hand slightly close to Hayate's, hoping he wouldn't notice.

Hayate had sat down and was turning the channel to a christian channel that was now playing a movie. He sat quietly, not noticing the other boy's hand so close to his. His heart was racing just from sitting next to him and he wasn't sure why. Hayate was so confused at himself. He'd always been taught that homosexuality was wrong and that those that do it will go to Hell. Now that he had this boy sitting next to him, it felt so right, but so wrong at the same time.

Shiki made a sneaky glance at Hayate. He noticed sweat going down his forehead in little beads. Did he make him nervous? Then again, he spent most of his time in school on studies and God. He knew God didn't like homosexuals, meaning he didn't like Shiki, but that was fine with him. But did Hayate believe in the "Homosexuality isn't great." motto?
"Eh, just wondering." He started, "Do you...have a girlfriend?" he tried to make it seem like a cool thing, like he wanted to know about his "girlfriend", but he just wanted to know the answer, if Hayate was gay or not. But he tried to keep his voice level and un-prying.

"Nah, I don't. I havn't found the right one, you know?" he answered and then added, "What about you?" Hayate was starting to calm down a little. The basic question helped him but also seemed to make his heart sink. He most deffinately had to ask Sister Rose about his feelings tomorrow.

"Nope." Shiki replied, "Girls tend to stay away from me. I think it's..'cause I'm gay." He finally let it out. He knew Hayate was straight now, bu he didn't care. He might as well let it out now. If he was homophobic, then he'd be kicked out. If not, then that's good. Because he had noticed Hayate glancing at him every now and then. Did this mean anything, or did Shiki have something on his face that was there for the whole of this conversation?

Hayate seemed to freeze at the statement. Thoughts ran through his head as he was trying to understand what just happened. Just then, Grandma's voice shouted up the stairs, "Dinner's ready! come on down!" Hayate jumped from the shout and then smiled at Shiki. He headed down the stairs pretending like what they spoke of never happened and he sat down in the chair that he normally sat in.

Shiki had a feeling that he scared Hayate a bit, by the way he suddenly paused and looked at him as if he were some alien. He heard Hayate's grandma call down for dinner and sat down in between them. The dining room was a nice sie, and it was very old-fashioned. Shiki liked that. Taking a bite out of the food, he suddenly felt hearts in his eyes. It was amazing, nothing he had ever tasted before. He was sure if he didn't meet Hayate back then and showed him where the spices were, it wouldn't be half as great. He almost wolfed the rest down.
"This is amazing!" He finally said, "Where did you learn to cook like this?"
He glanced at Hayate for a while and noticed he hadn't tried to make contact with him. Probabl because Shiki wierded him out. It wasn't such a big deal for him. He would kicked out sooner or later.