*Pounce* He has arrived! Fabulous. ^-^ It was more us waiting to hear if you were still going to join. I'm sure we can wait a day or two for the application; I just wanted to be sure you were joining before I waited any longer. Thank you for letting us know.

Hey! *wave* always good to see a new face! Sorry to hear about your computer Ivan mine is dealing with it's own issues (virus and being 5 years old) so Kierys I might end up reformatting my computer, it shouldn't take more than an afternoon but if I go MIA for a day or two I just wanted to let you all know what was up!

I know Ivan challenged himself to get it posted for tonight, but... Suffice it to say he's my RL roommate and...stuff happened. >_< Can I beg forgiveness in his stead and ask for an extension? It should be -tomorrow- night at the latest. Today got....eaten by RL stuff. :cry:

It's okay, no need to beg forgiveness. I hope the RL stuff is alright and nothing is wrong. As long as he gets it in within the next three days (So by Monday, the 7th), we'll be good. Obviously if stuff comes up again, we can extend that, but that'll just mean that we move on without him and he'll join us with the big stuff later. Nobody will be due posts until I've accepted Ivan's application, (In the event that I do, which seems likely.. ;) ) unless I do decide to move on, in which case I'll let you guys know when you're due. Keep me posted if anything comes up. ^-^ I'll be scarce Saturday and Sunday, since I'll be in the cities or doing other stuff, but I'll pop when I can to check up on this thread.

Ivan looks to be -really- sick, guys. He's coming down with something awful. :( *worries*

Originally Posted by jeregretriens

Ivan looks to be -really- sick, guys. He's coming down with something awful. :( *worries*

Don't worry, sick or no, you'll get your app- I'm almost done~

But after that I'm probably gonna crash for the night/day- no joke :(

Hope this is okay guys- if I've messed up anyway feel free to let me know and I'll change it~

The Facts
Name: Ivan Morozov
Counterpart:
Username: Ivan Morozov
Class: Dreamer
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Age: 25

Attributes
(In the following nine slots, choose 1-5. You must have at least a 1 in everything. You may have no more than a five in anything. You are allowed 25 points to spend throughout. So, your numbers added should equal no more than 25. You will see why when we begin.)
Strength: 5
Dexterity: 2
Stamina: 5
Charisma: 2
Manipulation: 1
Appearance: 3
Perception: 2
Intelligence: 3
Wits: 2

About You
Past/Bio: Until recently Ivan had been living in the town of Reutov, unemployed and seeking work having been let go from his job as a machine operator of an autoparts manafacuter. He was promised work as soon as he entered the United States by a friend of the family, though the deal feel through due to an 'unfortunate mix-up' and he was left unemployed and homeless. He ended up making his way to San Fransisco through the routes available and is now looking for work once again.
Personality: Like many of the people from his country, first impressions of him are cold and aloof, wanting nothing other than to keep to himself, but that melts rather quickly to show his warm nature. He is trusting, almost to a fault, but has enough sense to usually keep himself out of trouble. Despite his large build he is a pacifist by nature and would rather walk away from a fight than throw a punch back- he will retaliate however if people other than himself are pulled into skirmishes, through their own involvement or otherwise.
Description: Click to see picture His hair is an dark ash blonde and his eyes are a striking blue. He is tall, about 6'2" and his usual attire consists of a long sleeved black shirt, winter coat and scarf of some description.
The Keys
(In the following two slots, choose 1-10. You must have at least one in both. You may have no more than ten. You may have them both as full as you wish, but you must play your character accordingly. If you cannot, I will decrease the appropriate key until it matches how you are playing your character.
Desire: 3- Ivan's goal in life is to do something with himself that he can be proud of- he has no real idea what that could be and his little idea of where his talents lie, if he has any at all other than basic knowledges, but his dream is to find whatever he is best at and use it in someway that will benefit him and hopefully others.
Reality: 6- While Ivan is quite open to most things he is still quite 'realistic'- he has a certain belief structure and, while he isn't concrete with them (especially with things regarding the supernatural), it does take some doing to get him to fully believe something.

Get some rest, hon, your health is more important. I rather you be in top shape and feeling good than on your deathbed trying to post for us. Get lots of sleep and water. I hope you feel better soon, dear. *Hugs and gives soup*

Edit: Since you're probably eager to hear the results, I'll post them below before I get to work on my other tasks.


Okay, to business:

You have a five in Strength and Stamina. While it says in your description that you are of a large build, it doesn't explain why. Does he work out? To maintain a five, he would have to be like a body builder and follow a strict exercise regime to maintain that level of fitness. If he's not quite that high up, I'd bump it down to a four and put the extra point into something else (Wits or Perception are both good ones). Four is still pretty high though, so if he doesn't exercise regularly and work out, he might be better at a three. I don't mind you having a five, so long as you can give an acceptable reason for it. No character may have more than a three in anything without explaining it, just so you know. Not trying to pick on you; that's just how the system works.

Proofing:

Past/Bio:

Comma after "work" in you first sentence.
"manafacuter" should be "manufacturer".
"feel" should be "fell".
Comma after "mix-up' " to avoid a run-on sentence.

Personality:

Your first sentence runs a little awkwardly, putting emphasis on the wrong words, e.g. "first impressions of him are cold and aloof" makes it sound like the impressions are cold and aloof, not the person. It also runs on a little bit. A little rewording and sentence separation would make it flow smoother. For example: "Like many of the people from his country, Ivan inadvertently gives the impression of being cold and aloof, wanting nothing other than to keep to himself. However, that icy exterior melts rather quickly to show his warm nature." If you want, you can use that rewrite or rewrite it personally.

I don't know if this is personal preference speaking or if it's a grammatical faux pas, but "usually" feels like it would be better suited after "trouble" with a comma separating the two, to put emphasis on the implication that he doesn't always avoid trouble. Since I'm not sure if that's a grammatical error or not, you can keep it as is, but if someone else knows for certain, please let me know. I'm afraid my English may be getting rusty; I cannot remember all the rules as clearly as I used to.

After "back" in your third sentence, you should put a semi-colon instead of a dash to separate the two sentences while still indicating that the second sentence relates directly to the first. I also believe there ought to be a comma before and after "however", or at least, after for certain.

Description:

"an" should just be "a". I figure you probably had it at "His hair is an ash blonde" before deciding to change it to "dark ash blonde" and just forgot to amend the "an". Also, my computer brings up "blonde" as being a spelling error, but I don't think it is. If anyone knows for certain, could they please let us know? Until then, however, you may spell it either way ("blonde" or "blond"). There should be a comma after it, whichever spelling you decide to use.
Comma after "6'2" ".

Desire:

Semi-colon between "of" and "he" instead of a dash.
I think you meant "has" instead of "his" after the "and"; also, "some" and "way" should be separate.
The entire sentence runs on. I think you'll need to do some separating of sentences to keep it from rambling. I've included an example that would be satisfactory.

Ivan's goal in life is to do something with himself that he can be proud of. However, he has no real idea what that could be and has little idea of where his talents lie, if he has any at all other than basic knowledge. But his dream is to find whatever he is best at and use it in some way that will benefit him and hopefully others.

Reality:

Comma after "things"; semi-colon after " 'realistic' ", although it would run better, I think, to just put a period after and be done with it. If you do, be sure to capitalize the "h" in "he".
Also, I would like you to explain your belief system a little bit more; I find myself mostly confused after reading it. Your wording throws me off a bit. Remember, examples are everyone's friend. Although by the rough guess I am getting about how your character works, I believe he may be more suited to a seven or perhaps even an eight. Your Reality is not so much about whether or not your character believes in the supernatural (ghosts, zombies, gargoyles) so much as how much they believe that the laws of physics and whatnot cannot be broken. Ways in which this applies:

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The Reality Scale and How it Works:

Susie believes in nymphs and fairies, but she doesn't believe that if she jumped off a building, their pixie dust could help her fly. She is rooted to the belief that gravity pulls you down, that a person is only as strong as their body allows, and that nobody human can move faster than the speed of light without help.

Jonathan does not believe in the mythical creatures in storybooks, but he does believe that maybe, there is a force out there that can make incredible things happen. These things would be few and far between, but occasionally, they could be possible. Things like surviving a great fall, like being able to lift an incredibly heavy weight that you normally couldn't lift off your friend to save them. Usually these anomalies would come with good reason, but some part of him still doubts the possibility. He's a little on the fence.

Terry believes there are some people in the world who are gifted with abilities beyond those of normal humans. People who can read others' minds, who can change their appearance with a thought. Not everyone can do this, but some are lucky enough to be blessed or hit with high doses of radiation, or bitten by magical leprechauns.

Julius believes gravity exists only to those who let it exist. If you forsake the rules of reality, you can bend it, twist it to your own will. If you truly believe you can do something, down to your very marrow, without a doubt in your mind, then you can. The only thing standing in the way is your own doubts and fears.

Susie would have a nine or ten, depending on exactly how rooted she is to the unwavering laws of physics.

Jonathan would be a seven or eight, or even a six, depending on which way he teeters on the fence. He seriously entertains the possibility, which is more than most people, who would usually only joke about such things.

Terry would fall under a four, five, or six. A six would believe such "gifted" people would be very rare, but a four would believe that maybe even he could become one of these people, if the circumstances were just right.

Julius would have a one, two, or three, depending on how serious he is about disbelieving the laws. A one would jump off a fifty story building without blinking and expect, whole-heartedly, that he would land unharmed on the ground. A three might jump, but they would have to "talk themselves into it" a little, and before they hit the ground, they might have a fleeting thought of "This isn't going to work, I'm going to die!" or they might flinch. Whether through instinct or weakness of will, three's still believe, in some tiny part of them, in the consequences of going against the laws.

I feel there has been some confusion overall as to how my scale works, so hopefully this has cleared up a little of that confusion. I will be linking it to the front page for easier reference, should it ever be necessary.

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Ivan, I understand that you are sick, so don't take the above corrections too much to heart. I am only including it so that you can look it over and: see if the errors were made because of you being out of it, or because you were not aware of something being a grammatical/spelling error. I wish I would have done that for all the profiles, but I'm afraid I don't always have the time to. Just address the questions I have for you about your fives and your Reality when you are feeling better and then I can let you know if you are accepted or not. So far, however, it looks very hopeful.

Oh, also, I would like you to tell me, in your own words, what the rules are. Also, please tell me what are the most important rules. (Hint: They will be the ones that are bolded.) And lastly, tell me what the most important rule of all is. (If you pay attention while you read, you should be able to find it. ;-) )

After that, please post in this thread what your first post to the game would be, if you were to jump into the game right now. I need to evaluate your overall writing skill and see your character in action to know if you will fit in well with the game. Like I said before, based on what I've seen, the outlook is definitely hopeful, but everyone must do this, so we shall.

Last of all: Brownie points to everyone who got through this entire post. At least one person, other than myself, better have brownie points. *coughcoughIvancoughcoughblatanthintcough* Ahem. Excuse me. ^-^

Kierys, I think Ivan's down for the count. It's gotten worse rather than better and I'm getting a bit concerned. He said to pass on to get the game going again without him.

And...(I read all of that!)...blonde is blonde over here in England, but it's blond over there in America. Just like colour/color maths/math jewellery/jewelry et al.

I'm sorry to hear his health isn't improving. Is he getting enough fluids and whatnot? Please pass on my best wishes for a speedy recovery, since being sick is never fun. I really hope he gets better.

In relation to gaming, will he still be joining once he returns to a healthy state, or no? I just want to be sure, because if he isn't joining us for any reason, then I should open recruitment up again, since we're short a player without him. He can take his time answering, as long as I know relatively soon (Next week or so would be good, if that's okay). I'll try to get things started tomorrow, since tonight I already have plans.

I send feel better vibes and much love to Ivan, please get well soon!

Oh poor guy, being sick is never ever fun...push the fluids and the chicken soup! It cures all ailments!

While he said he wanted to join...it might be a few weeks, Kierys. It's a long story and it's a bit personal. Maybe open up recruitment for now and see if there's room for him when he's better?

That might be a good idea. I don't know if we'll get any applicants, but it's worth a try. If we do get a new member but he still wants to join, then I'm sure we can figure something out.

Edit: Alright, you ladies have been so very lovely and patient, so while I am keeping applications open, I'm going to move on with the game. We've been on hiatus long enough and I'm sure you're both antsy to start. My next post applies to both of you. You both awake to this, but keep in mind, you do not wake in the same room as each other. Where you wake up is completely empty of other people.

Just so I don't end up looking like a idiot I simply post my profile, correct? Then play the quiet waiting game? xD

Have you read the rules? If you haven't, then don't even worry about posting a profile. Go read those first. Multiple times, if that's what it takes to get them to stick. Also, be sure to read the Profile Skeleton section carefully and I'm sure you'll find your answer.

The wait is typically not too long; I try to come online at least once a day and at the bare minimum, once every three. Chances are you'll catch me the day you post your profile, unless I have prior appointments.

Also, Bippy, I'm not sure if you mean to, but I want to make sure you know not to fill in details about anything other than your character. For instance, you mentioned in your post that they were big double doors. I did not specify what kind of doors were in the room because your character failed her Perception roll, so she didn't get to know. But just because it is not said does not mean the details should be filled in. That's the purpose of the rolls, to determine how much your character knows/how well they do with certain tasks based on their abilities and the things affecting them. I don't mean to sound like such a nitpick, but please either ask me in the future, or omit such details unless I have given them. Even seemingly insignificant details can have meaning, and in this case, the doors are important. In this case, since you were running at the door, I rolled you Perception, for a couple of different reasons:

1. So you could even know where the doors were, if there were any. You haven't had any luck looking around the room, so for all you knew, there were no doors. Instinct would still tell you to run for where a door might be, which is why I didn't prohibit you from your action.
2. So you could know details about the door, what kind it was, what kind of handle, if it swung in or out, where the handle was located, ect. Without these details, you would find it impossible to go through the door.

I rolled you Wits, because the fear would hinder your thought process and we needed to know how clearly you were thinking. I also rolled you Dexterity, because when you are experiencing that sort of terror, you find it very hard to move, especially without stumbling.

I just thought I should let you know why I rolled for you so many things for such a seemingly simple task. Hopefully this will help everyone understand a little where dice rolls would come into play. I also encourage you all to continue asking me to roll for you when you think it is appropriate; it was really refreshing to see you two dig in with your hands, so to speak, and take initiative.

Also, I will not always make you roll for things; in some circumstances, I will have you automatically succeed. Usually this is in the interest of progressing the story, or because I feel you are advanced enough in that particular field that you would not need to roll to see if you succeed. For example, someone with a four in Strength does not need to roll to see if he can move a heavy block that a two could not.

I know it's a bit confusing and nothing seems concrete, but trust me, you'll get into the flow of it the longer we play. Eventually you'll just know when the rolls are coming and sometimes you'll even be able to guess at how well you are going to do; once you get used to your stats, you get to know what you are really capable of as a character.

I also want to thank you two for sticking it out this long. I know the game has been a bit slow moving (We started all the way back in August, although you two didn't join until mid-September and October) but I really feel we'll start picking things up a bit now that we've gotten past the prologue. But, if for any reason the game isn't moving at a pace that seems fast enough to hold your interests, please tell me and I'll do what I can to fix it. If it means getting rid of the dice rolls, I can do that. As much as I like them, I rather see this game played out than dead because it was moving too slowly.

So hey, if you read all the way to the end without yawning or taking a break, give yourself a cookie. And then post something like, "Yay, I got a cookie," so I can stop editing my posts. XD

Cookies? *omnomnom* :heart:

I love the game, and while I would like to see it move a little faster, that's an idle thought on my end--I like it JUST how it is, dice rolls and everything, and I think an extra person would speed it up point perfect, far more than changing anything will.

Since you've just given Bippy some constructive criticism, though, let's make her not feel alone... *teases*

How am I doing?

I'll be honest, Jer, up until this point I haven't been paying really close attention. Your little back and forth with Creed I mostly skimmed over. There was so much happening at the time, I couldn't keep up with your interlude and mine at the same time, so I tried to focus on Bippy, since I was directly interacting with her. Now I've had a little bit of time to watch you and get used to your style.

Lately though, I'm getting the feeling you're trying to say something or ask something through your posts by the way you keep referring to how this is all a dream. It might just be how you play your character, reassuring herself that it isn't real, but I figured I should ask regardless. Is there something you are trying to say, or is that just how her mind works?

There's a lot of literary references in your post, which I find excellent. I'd find it even more excellent if I had any clue who they were. XD But that's through no fault of yours. I really like how you are playing to your character. She would reach for those people in this situation, and it really helps the rest of us see how she reacts to certain things.

I don't have a lot of constructive criticism to offer since I'm still getting used to your style and interacting with your character, but I'm sure I'll have more to add down the line.

And Bippy, I'm sorry, I never did offer praise on what you've been doing well lately and that was wrong of me; one should never point out the cons without also pointing out the pros. Thank you, Jer, for bringing this to my attention. ^-^

I really do enjoy your style and I always find myself looking forward to your next post. You have a very engaging character, in my opinion, and it makes her reactions interesting to watch. You also take well to suggestion and direction. I like how you voice your character's "thoughts", letting us get a peek into her head and what goes on in there. She doesn't speak terribly much, so this is important for character development, I believe. I also love how she reacts to things, and how you play out her belief in the supernatural. Aside from what I've spoken on above, I believe you've been doing really well and I'm excited to see where Audra goes from here. Although your most recent post needs a once-over, there are just a couple of typos.

Oh, I'm sorry! :P I...sometimes forget that not everyone is a walking library like I am. xD Yes, Morgan lives on her literary references, and she even made a few back during her back and forth with Creed.

Hmm, let's see...

H.P. Lovecraft wrote of Cthulu, and googling his name or the name of his creature will explain it far, far, far better than I could. The Wikipedia entry on Lovecraft actually...pretty well explains what Morgan was getting at. His name is synonymous with horror, and more specifically, fear.

Tolkein and Stephen King I will assume are self-explanatory?

The bit about Frank Stockton and "opening both doors" comes from a short story that you can read online for free, and I would recommend to the highest degree and sing praises of.
The Lady, or the Tiger?, by Frank R. Stockton; The Lady, or the Tiger Page 1

"Never run from anything supernatural, it only encourages them." is a paraphrase of a quote from The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. Schmendrick and the Unicorn are fleeing a harpy attack and the Unicorn cautions Schmendrick not to run, but to walk away calmly, because running will attract the harpy's attention. They walk away unharmed.

Shall I continue to explain Morgan's references as she makes them?

As far as her constant "THIS IS A DREAM" internal monologue...she has a nine in reality. If she realises this -isn't- a dream, it will throw her through a very, very, very nasty mental loop. She's already got the gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that it indeed isn't, and she compensates for that worry by -constantly- reassuring herself. She's trying to keep herself grounded by rationalising what's going on around her with the "RULES OF REALITY" that she's got in her head. Break it to her gently, ne? :P

In general, though, if Morgan ever winds up with a recurring question in her mind, even if it's something I might want to know, I'd rather not get the answer. It's confusing her in-character, and if you tell me, she might accidentally figure it out before she 'should', because while I try -really- hard to keep apart IC and OOC knowledge...I'm still human. If that makes sense?

Kierys No worries about the criticism, I accept it gladly! I see, after reading through the previous posts that you had said two doors were at the end of the room, in my sleep deprived state (I just got home last night from finals) I must have assumed you meant double doors. I then must have totally spaced my failed perception roll in the previous post. Sorry! I had some questions about that post, and I'm glad to see them pointed out and answered. As for the rolls I really appreciate them, especially the amount of information each character gets to know.

Thanks for the heads up!

Very welcome, Bippy dear, and I do apologize if I sounded at all harsh. I just wanted to make sure everyone understood how things were working. I tend to skimp on details unless you are directly in front of an object or succeed on a perception roll, so I didn't mention what kind, so I understand your confusion.

Oh, I think I'm familiar with that story. I can't recall the details but doesn't it have something to do with a man choosing between two doors; one contains a tiger, the other a lady, and a woman who is in love with him tells him to choose one of the doors. I can't remember if it had a tiger or lady beyond it.

The author leaves it on the reader to decide, I think that's part of what makes the story so powerful, really. ^^;

Ick ick ick, have to go to work today...I'll reply after. >_> *wishes she could stay home and RP*

EDIT:

Home again, home again, jiggedy jog. Morgan recommends you read Dune, by Frank Herbert, with her comment that she might as well live on Arrakis

I own the movie. Six hours, wtf?! Lol.

*pokes the threads* Quiet quiet... :/

I'm here! With it being only three days until Christmas (and Hanukkah in full swing) I just assumed it would get a little quiet around these parts!

Hello darlings, I'm terribly sorry I haven't been in. I'm still sick, I'm afraid, and I thought I had posted in here, but it must have been elsewhere. Sorry to keep you all waiting; I'm not sure how long it will take for this to pass. I also just got my lovely monthly gift, so that's not making it any easier. I'll let you ladies know when I'm feeling better, until then, don't worry about post deadlines. It's holiday time, which I forgot, so it's quite excusable. Have a happy holiday, everyone. All I want for Christmas is my stomach back in working order.

Aww honey. *snuggles* Poor thing! You look beautiful for the holiday, though!