"Yeah." finx sighed.

Jonathan found them. He sighed in relief, "There you are, finx!" He noticed she was crying, "Are you okay?"

"No." Finx sniffed rubbing her cheeks.

He knelt next to her, "What's wrong?"

"I'm an idiot." Finx started crying again.

Rissa looked at Jonathan helplessly,

Jonathan put his hand on finx's shoulder, "You aren't an idiot finx"

Finx collapsed against him " Yes I am."

Jonathan put his arms around her,

Finx collapsed against him sobbing.

Jonathan stroked her hair, not saying anything.

Eventually Finx ran out of tears to cry and pulled away rubbing her cheeks "Sorry."

"It's okay" Jonathan said softly.

" No it's not okay nothing will ever be ok again." Finx sighed.

Jonathan gave her a sad smile, "But it will, that's how the human race works, and vampires too I guess, things happen, and they hurt, and you think you'll never be okay, but you are. It still hurts. Some pain never goes away. But you move through it. You get up and you keep going"

" And if you don't want to get up and keep going?" Finx hiccupped softly. " What if you just want to curl in a ball and never get up?"

He smiled wryly, "That's why you have friends who make you get up anyway"

" Well I don't have friends." Finx sighed.

"Well you have a vampire who annoys you to death" he offered.

"And a barely teenage vampire hunter who offends you by being friends with vampires" Rissa added, speaking for the first time in awhile.

" True." Finx sighed softly and rubbed her cheeks. " Guess I'll not think about my family."

"Finx" he said softly, "I know that you don't trust vampires, but...would you have really wanted your family to kill themselves because they had turned?"

" Yes." Finx looked at him straight in the eye " After all the stuff the said about vampires I fully expected them to kill themselves if they had turned guess I was wrong...does this mean all the things they said aren't true or do they not care anymore?"

Jonathan sighed, "It's easy enough to talk about killing yourself when you're relatively safe and the possibility seems unlikely. To actually do it is another thing entirely." He looked away, "I must confess it is inconceivable to me that anyone could truly with for their family to commit some kind of mass suicide"

"You don't know what they were like." Finx hiccupped rubbing her eyes.

Jonathan frowned, "What does that mean? Were they bad?"

"No but they taught me that no vampire deserved to live that it was them or us. I was young when I killed my first vampire. I was also told that being turned was as good as a death sentence." FInx sighed.