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rakwel
team spike.
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08-23-2007, 03:01 AM
- 36. Sit
Like Dad, I found sitting in his car a good way to calm my nerves. So when I got off the phone with Jason for the last time, that is exactly what I did. Jason called again, even after I screamed at him at the parking lot at school, and rejected him for prom, he called again. He wants me back, he loves me. Yeah right, I'm the most gullable person you will ever meet, and even I don't believe that bullshit. So he wants me back, and I told him for the last time that I was never going to go out with him again, and that he had to face it. I guess that I did love him, but it wasn't true and eternal love. And ever since I had started to read teen romance novels and I had always swore that if I couldn't trust a guy, then I shouldn't be with him.
I had been Jason for just over a year when I caught him kissing Bianca Smitters in back of the school. I had told him that I didn't need a ride home from him, that I was going to Jenny's after school. As Jenny and I left the building we used the back exit because we were walking to her house and the back exit was closer. I'm guessing Jason didn't know that there was back exit, so he thought that making out back there was a safe hiding place. When really, he had set himself up to be caught.
When I saw him I yelled, "You bastard, we're over!" and ran away crying. Jenny spent the night at my house, and within two days I had been showered with flowers, and when that didn't work gift baskets. He knew I hated gift baskets. He knew that gift baskets made me think of Dad, because that is all we got for weeks after Dad died. Or maybe he didn't know, maybe he didn't really love me. Maybe he just thought of me as just another girl, another girl that he had been going out with for over a year. That made me think, had there been other girls? Was Bianca Smitters the first?
Sitting in the car kind of made me feel a little better, but it made me think more. And thinking often makes things hurt even more.
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