When my mom was angry with me, she would slap or spank me. I was not disobeying on purpose, I had a lot of issues and was terrified of many things.

I had a specific problem with showering (disgusting, I know -sigh-)
I could not be naked. I can not explain it, it just made me feel vulnerable, like I was in a position to be taken advantage of. I had been a little bit when I was younger with another kid in my naiiivity, but when I mentioned it to my mom later, she thought nothing of it because the kid and I were not doing anything more than exposing ourselves to eachother. Well, I had been too innocent at the time and felt tricked and violated later. Anyway, I just need to give you background so that you understand where I was coming from. I was very emotionally unstable.

When my mom spanked me, I took it as a form of violent molestation, it was the equivalent to me.

One time I locked myself in the bathroom, because I was so scared, my mom threatened to call the police if I did not open the door. When I opened it, she took me by the hair and drug me into the shower, with me crying and begging and everything.

And all this to a quiet and painfull shy child who never acted out. Why was any of that crap necessary? I felt so dirty that I nearly killed myself over it as several points because it was too much for me to bare. I needed help, I know, and violence wasn't substituting for kind understanding.


So what I'm saying is this: all kids are NOT the same, put more pressure on some and they will crumble. Do not assume that a child who is not hit is spoiled or that hitting a child solves anything.
My mom is not a bad person, she was just foolish enough to take generic parenting advice.