Hmm...wow...I've gotta say this situation sounds so similar to one I was in. (Yes, "was," but don't let that freak you out.)

When I was dating my ex, I came up with the idea of promise rings...I had been wanting one for awhile, and after hearing that my cousin (male) had done it, I thought it would be a cute gift for our 2-year anniversary. Well...he was okay with it, but he never pursued it. I ended up being the one to buy the rings...I think I spent $60 on both of them, 'cause I got one for him too. And it was just one of those things where he never got the point of it all...which I was honestly okay with at the time.

The problem was that this was a pattern with my ex. I would always get him some pretty cool gifts that had been well thought out whether it was for Christmas, his birthday, etc., but he never put much thought into mine at all. In fact, I specifically remember him buying something for himself one Christmas and then giving it to me.

And the thing is...my boyfriend had a job. He would spend all of his money on video games, and would complain when I asked him to take me on a date. And I'm not talking a $50 dinner...I'm talking a trip to the movies once in a blue moon.

Now...while I was more than happy to accept what gifts I did get, later on I began to get the bigger picture of things...small details like this can, often times, be pointing to a much larger issue that may otherwise be difficult to see. In this case, it was clear that my ex did not care about me the way I cared about him, and the gifts was only one tiny sign (of many) of this.

This is not to say that the same thing is going on with you and your boyfriend, but like everybody else has said, I think it's high time that you and your significant other take another look at what's going on between you.

I know you said you're not interested in breaking up with him, and I'm not going to tell you to. If you think it can work, then go for it. Just make sure that your boyfriend is willing to put in his share of the work as well. A one-sided relationship is never a healthy thing.

And the fact that you are able to acknowledge your own weaknesses is definitely a good thing. You know that you are dependent upon him, and so that awareness is a good thing to have. However, if you do nothing about it, then there's really no point in you having that awareness. Also, as I believe you said, your boyfriend is also aware of this fact...and that can be a dangerous position for you to be in. While I'm certainly not saying that he is doing this, I am warning you...be careful because he might try to take advantage of this part of you. However, if he is a nice guy, then of course he won't. Just something to be aware of. Moving on though...as I said before...now that you're aware of your weakness, you need to work on it. And you know...becoming less dependent does not mean you are going to break up with your boyfriend. At the very least, all it will do is strengthen your relationship with him. You being less dependent will benefit both of you in the long run, especially if you stay together. And there are plenty of resources avaiable to you, I'm sure...especially if you have access to a college campus. There are many people who would be willing to help you come up with strategies that will help you to work on becoming less dependent. I would definitely start checking out what resources are available to you and see what you can get from them.

Um...long post, I know...apologies. I hope this helped some. O_O;