Not at all. These days everyone throws ily around like theyre saying hello. It's perfectly fine and normal to want to mean it when you say it. That doesn't mean your distant at all. Even if you do mean it and can't say it back, that doesn't mean your distant and definately doesn't mean your cold. It j ust means your like every other human being on the planet and has a fear of being hurt and let down. Yours just shows because you don't want to take the risk and just say it. Which is totally fine. People who throw around ily are the ones who do end up hurt the most. So don't let your friends make you feel bad about yourself and who you are. You'll say it when your damn well ready to say it right? Right. But don't be afraid to take a chance every now and again ;)