I didn't contradict myself--I wasn't talking about it in my original response to Sparkle. Whether or not I address it later (and I'm not denying that I did) in a response to you is irrelevant.


In any case, there are definitely ways to compromise in a relationship. It's not as cut and dry as "you look at it or you don't."

I'll use my own personal experience as an example.

When I first started dating Rune (my fiance), I was very upset at the notion that he looked at porn or masturbated. It had me distraught and we did fight about it on a couple of occasions. I too had the mentality that "I should be all that he ever needs." However, we talked through it, and I didn't want to be hypocritical, since I did both as well. So we laid down ground rules that both of us follow--basically, keep it out of sight and out of mind of the other partner. So if he wants to watch porn and rub one out to it, he's free to do so, provided I'm not around to walk in on him by accident. Likewise, if he's working late, I'm more than welcome to find something to look at and make myself happy with a toy. And, it works for us. I don't get upset about it, and if I'm having libido issues, he isn't suffering because I can't satisfy him. Likewise, if I'm having super-libido issues, I'm not suffering because he can't satisfy me. We can't always be there to please each other how we want to and when we want to, so for us, it works.

Of course, that's not the only way to compromise. You could compromise on what kind of porn you watch--if it's only fetish porn that your partner won't actually participate in, or if you're only limited to softcore porn, and so on. You could also set limits on when or how often--once a week, only on Wednesdays, once every July, only during a full moon, whatever.

However, I'll reiterate my first post: If you absolutely cannot come to any sort of agreement, then you probably should not be in a relationship with them.