08-23-2010, 05:43 PM
Her words pierced him like a dagger. Standing at the sink, he looked at the shot glass in his hand. It was still half-full of the brown liquid he was currently drinking, but he didn't have the heart to finish it. Rather than putting it back, he doused it with water. It overflowed and he watched at the sink caused a small funnel to suck the water down. Just starting at it, he finally heard her speak up just above the sound of the graphite tearing lightly at the white lined paper.
"No. The best would include not having me as your guardian." Using the window pane before him as a mirror, he looked at the reflection of the female sitting quietly doing her homework. "I going out. If I don't come back, get yourself ready for school tomorrow." His eyes showed no stir of emotion as he groped for his keys. Their light chiming sound followed as did the slamming of the door.
A car's engine revved and soon died off in the distance. Had she not looked outside, Chanelle would have thought it was Levin driving away. But, this was not the case. In fact, he said there on his front door step with his pistol at the side of his head. Not that he was suicidal, he was just trying to clear his head and the thrill of his gun being that close to him was the only way to erase the images that taunted him. Clicking open the back, he removed the cartridge and then tossed his gun out on the lawn before him. Sitting there with that miserable look on his face, he tugged at his tie and shirt. It was getting harder to breath. His throat was filling with grief and his eyes were beginning to fill with tears.
She was better than he was and in every way. Levin knew he couldn't provide for her like he wanted to. Hell, he knew he could never even measure up to being a guardian let alone a father. Wiping his nose and brushing away his loose tears, Levin exhaled and felt terrible. If this was what having Chanelle was going to be like, Levin knew it would send him to an early grave. Just as he stood up to go back him, he felt his heart grow heavy and weak. Damn girl. She's going to make my life a living hell. She's too perfect. And I'm not even worth it. I need to find her a better place. A person who will love her. She needs to get away from me. The longer she stays, the more corrupt she'll get. I'd hate to destroy her hopes and dreams....
Eyes turning up toward the stars, Levin rested his head against the house's wall. "I'm sorry, Chanelle" he whispered under his breath.
|