New-ish.


Wide eyed and terrified
your shaking hands
rattle my soul
pressure mounting
as cold sweat drips down into
the pool of doubt
my heart starts to flood
as you press against me harder
Fear absorbs the doubt
and trust
until my body has shriveled
to nothing
And even has you try
and try
and try to calm
to show me
just how much you care
Words ring in my ears.
whore and
slut and
easy and
too fast and
worthless
and I almost said no.
But harsh light broke
our vows made in the darkness
and reality
snapped back into place
with a laugh and a kiss
and the feeling
of my heart breaking
into a million pieces
of dust.
My knees began to shake
and my heart ceased to thump
and the mind numbing fear
of everything I risked
breaks me down
to nothing but
a scared
little
girl.