Hello there fellow menewshans. I am typing here today because I am sooo stressed! It recently started when I said to myself "You are not going to cut anymore if you get in this play." I'm heavily involved in theatre and it's really hard for girls to get good roles because there are a lot. Well, turned out I did get in. Things were going great and I was so proud of myself for not feeling the need to cut. But then... my so-called best friend starts to make absolutely everything about her. I try to tell her an important story and she interrupts me entirely, leaving me to keep quiet and she's still doing this as if her one problem (which she won't seem to let go) is much worse than what anyone else is going through. I believe I may be suffering with depression, but I refuse to be put on meds for my mental health. I just don't think it'd work for me. Anyway, I had lots of rehearsal and I finally had a Saturday off, so my mom (who works her butt off to feed me and my sister) gave me money and she told me to go buy an outfit. I thanked her and walked to the mall. I was there for three hours and bought only one shirt. I then made my way to Claire's. That's when the small voice in the back of my head grew louder and louder told me to (deep breath) steal. I am in full control of my body at all times, but I still did it. I got caught. I felt awful about myself. I was beating myself up inside. Then, my dad suggested I come live with him(in a different state). After careful consideration and asking of many people, I agreed. Yeah, it'll be hard, but I really think I need a change. I told my best friend about me moving (I don't dare tell her about my thievary) and she keeps saying "No. I don't want you to move. I want you to stay. Don't leave me!." I really just want to scream in her face, "IS IT REALLY ALWAYS ABOUT YOU? DOES IT HAVE TO BE? I CAN NEVER SEEM TO PLEASE YOU! YOU WON'T LET ME!" We have fought before, but we always made up. This time, I can't seem to stay in the same room with her for more than 2 minutes without freaking out. The only time I can seem to stay sane around her is when I'm with my other best friend. He ties us together so well. I still haven't cut since I got cast in this play and I really want that sharp steel on my wrist again...