Very interesting. I love the world you have just given us a glimpse of. Some of the sentences could possibly be broken into tow sentences, but I think that might be more of a stylistic choice than anything. I love that you've already introduced several races, and that we're thrown right into the intrigue. You might want to consider having flashbacks later on, to flesh out who these people are and what they're all fighting for/against. But that's also a stylistic choice, I think.

Very good start!