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Projectwolfie
Dr. Livingstone, I presume?
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#3
Old 07-16-2011, 05:52 PM

Ohai, you might want to try poetry section for this... but hey.

That last stanza sounds a little uninspired compared to the rest and needs to be rewritten completely. Try like... oh I dunno, this seems to be punctuated by short words that are repeating, so in a rough and dirty example:

Call me
Call me a doctor
Call me if you're sick
Call me to put you to sleep

Last edited by Projectwolfie; 07-16-2011 at 05:56 PM..