</just realized she wrote dad instead of day> XD;

Hai also means yes in Japanese! This reminds me of a comedian who made a joke about how one word can mean several different things in different languages. X3

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So, I was on Fetlife - a kinky, Facebook-esque website - and I read a journal entry by a man who feels that because several people do not practice "The Lifestyle" like him it makes everyone else posers. If they don't act the way he feels they should act, then they are not actually what they "pretend" to be. Here is an exert from the entry about how submissives should act:

In my opinion, this kind of talk is what inspires the thought that submissives cannot and should not stand up for themselves, speak out against those who wrong them or seek out dominants who fit them.

There is nothing that I detest more than a dominant who feels that a submissive (a female submissive at that) has no right to make demands, to voice a negative opinion or have any fight in them. Essentially, these kind of dominants do not want their submissives to have a sense of self.

I find these dominants often have severe self-esteem issues. They're usually stuck in dead-end jobs or have no respect from their co-workers, and may have terrible social skills outside of the BDSM scene. They hold no real power in their day-to-day life.

You can't reason with these people either, and they often confess that they learned everything they know about being a "dom" from the internet (in this particular case - yahoo). They have very little real-life experience in spite of saying they've been in "The Lifestyle" for 5, 10, 15 years. Typically, that time was spent in BDSM chatrooms - probably starting from the late teens - early twenties.

While I have nothing against those who prefer the online experience, I am not fond of people who think that being a dominant only takes reading some articles online. It's a hands-on process that can take years. You have to be emotionally available (or at least be knowledgeable enough to provide another person who is), you have to be aware that - in the end - you're not calling the shots; the submissive is. You have to be capable of knowing what is too much and when can you safely push the submissive's limits.

There is nothing that says a submissive can't be arrogant or bratty. There aren't any guidelines on how to be "the perfect submissive" or as it is often said "a twue swabe". The same can be said about dominants.

However, there is a right and a wrong way to do things.

This person - specifically - hasn't a clue about what they're doing. He says one thing, and does another. He wants to live this fantasy, but doesn't understand that you can live a perfectly normal life and still indulge in something that is quite popular in BDSM - role play.

I haven't figured out if this man is simply obsessed with the idea or is actually trying to implement it, but there is one thing I know for sure...

He is not going to last in this scene. Too many people are offended by this kind of behavior, and there is rarely any room for someone so willing to disregard an individual's rights as a human being.

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:U The man deleted his journal entry before I had a change to make my own comment, so I had to vent here about it.