Heeeey! I'm likin the sweater you came up with! You are definitely better at pixeling than how you give yourself credit.
The ONLY thing I could think to suggest is adding one or two more shades to the mix. You outlined and shaded very well, but I noticed that you have a light shade and a very dark shade with nothing in between. I think if you included an shade that sits between the lighter and the darker, then it will be flawless!