10-19-2013, 07:27 PM
L.
What am i to you? From the moment we met i knew we had some kind of connection. There were a few rough patches, at the beginning, but i didn't consider that a hindrance on our friendship. You understood me, like so many others had failed to ever do. People who had been privy to my secret heart felt desires and wishes, and all those late night talks and tears. You saw none of that, heard precious little from my lips yet still made me feel that you had picked up my very soul, tip-toed through the essence of me, and learnt all of the important things about me that i could never explain fully to another soul.
You made me laugh in dire times. You helped me out when there was nobody else to reply on. You confided in me little things that you've never told any of the others. It seemed as though my very existence and presence brought you joy, and in that you made me feel so special. Perhaps i got wrapped up in our little moments that i forgot to look at the bigger picture. But i don't think you ever forgot that.
You were the one who bought me my birthday present, and Christmas present last year. And it's been nearly a years since that day, and up until two months ago everything was perfect between us. I don't know what i did. I don't know why i suddenly seemed to fall foul of you. You don't even want to smile or look at me now it seems. I don't know what i did and it hurts like hell to see you perhaps going out of your way to avoid me.
They say that the people who want you in their life will make time for you. I've no idea if you ever want to see me again. You said keep in touch, and we did, but something happened. In the space of one journey home something changed. And now it just seems as though you hate me. Maybe i'm being stupid and doing my automatic aspie thing, but my lord. It hurts knowing that everything you do or say to me is so ambiguous. There's no reason for me to ever see you again really. None whatsoever. But i want to. I miss you terribly. I'd like you to know that whatever i did i'm so very sorry. Maybe come January 13th i'll write a note on your birthday card and let you know. Make peace. Explain everything from my side.
I hope i won't have to wait that long though.
Your favourite. M.
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