I sit here putting pen to paper not because I feel that I need to but because my sires child Warron has told me that I should. Not often do I do as he tells me but this time I will. I do not need a record of those that I have put in harms way or how they have died but he feels that a book of these stories would be best for my partners to come.

I do not dedicate this to him but to my Partner I have now. Helena Blaire Demuliar.

I could start with where I was born and how I lived but then I feel that is to much like a Biography and that is not truly what I want to set down here. Don’t look for this to be in any order, I will only write as I feel like telling.

My first partner was a young boy name Tomus, his family… no I should start earlier then that.

My Sires children Warron, Agata and I were the last ones of the many our sire had when we killed him. He had become a threat to all of our kind and so he had to die. He had already hunted down and killed off many of our siblings and we knew that if we did not act we would soon join the ranks of the truly dead. The fight was bad, worse then we would have thought it could be. His spells almost over came us but we finished him off. Agata was wounded in that fight, I know not what has happened to her since then. Warron was my brother, more then any other man I had known. He fled the tower and all that it stood for leaving me to take care of it. I tried, really I did but madness was in our blood and the fear was fresh with me. I tried to hide my nature from those in the nearby village, but they came for me and destroyed the tower, or so they thought. The spell I used took all my strength and power to set on them so they saw what they wished. I lay there for weeks before the hunger drove me from the tower.

The shepherd and his flock was the first of many to fall to me in those dark nights. I went weeks between hunting’s and after each time I hated myself and all that I had become. My mind was broken with what we had done and with no one there to talk to I did what I thought was deserved of me. Then came that fateful night I killed a full family with no thought of who they were and what I had done. My humanity came back to me that night, that night when I left the tower for good. The tower still stands when last I checked, none will go near it even now.

I lived on the land, killing animals to keep myself going. Avoiding any human contact fearing that they would see my sins upon my skin and come after me. I don’t know if only months passed or years but then I found Tomus’ family farm. He had just been born, his mother and father stood there in their main room together looking down on him with their arms wrapped around each other and a loving warmth I had not seen in a long time on their faces. That small part of me that was growing longed for this warmth, this love. I watched as he grew up, becoming a sliant part of their family that they did not know or see but was always there. It was in his tenth summer that the war broke out in the nearby lands. His father feared that his lords army would come and take Tomus away for the war. They never thought that the war could come to their little farm.

One night I woke to screams, I did not know then but it was his mother. They had cut down his father when he would not agree to join up and fight against his lord. The children were lined up against the barn their faces turned away from the scene of death when I arrived. The leader of the band was saying something; I don’t recall what it was. I attacked him, taking him down and killing him in one animal move. My eyes saw only the loss of My Family. I had not thought to save the children or the mother; to my mind they were already dead. I slathered every one who was dressed for war; they killed those in front of them before they died. When all was quiet and none moved I looked around to find the children killed by the men before I had killed them. Many of the weapons were still in their bodies. The mother lay over his husband not a mark to be seen of how she died.

I moved close to her, not fully hearing the sound of Tomus’ heart beating quickly as I reached out to her. My hands were covered in red and things that even now I wish not to think of. This and only this stopped me from moving her, I feared to contaminate her with my sickness. He saw me as I stepped back from her, his eyes seemed to accuse me of not being there, I ran. My family was dead but for a boy that saw me as the greater monster, I had been right to fear the world. This thought filled my mind so much that I did not see the tree branch that drove into me as I ran. I was impaled unable to move with dawn on the way.

In the half life state I live in when impaled by wood time dose not move like it usually dose. I do know now if it was a matter of moments or hours but he found me there. He did not run when he saw me, he did not attack me like others would have. He squeezed between me and the tree and tried to push me from the branch. Slowly inch by inch he pushed me from it, I would have screamed out from the pain if I could have. The whole time Tomus’ cried and I could not understand why he cried for me. When finely I fell onto the leaves he had placed behind me I gasped. His heart raced as he jumped back in fear.

He asked me if I was not dead, I nodded as the pain of blood in my lungs was to great to talk. As he fought the fear the slowly walked back to me his eyes wide. It was then that I noticed how much he looked like me when I had been younger. He told me that I looked dead, I agreed with him. Then he poked me where the branch had ripped through the rags of my shirt. “you’re not cut?” was his supprised replay when he found no wound. From there till dawn he asked me questions and I nodded or shook my head to answer. By dawn he had promised to keep me from the sun for the day. I had never thought he would stay passed that. Yet that night I woke to find small animals tied nearby for me to feed on, he had spent the day hunting for me.

It was an hour after dusk that I found him covered in dirt trying to dig a hole for his mothers body. I told him to get some rest and that I would take care of those that needed to be buried. The soldiers bodies lay in a pile near by ready to be put to the tourch. I surched through them for anything of value and then set them alight. The family was buried with the rest that had died over the years. I went into the woods and found a grave stone for them, it was not hard for me to carve into it a name. Now I don’t even recall the name I gave them but the stone still sits there.

As dawn came that day Tomus told me of his wish to travel with me and how he would protect me during the day if I would do so at night for him. Thus our bargain was struck and we traveled. At first our story was that he was my son and we were looking for work but a Gypsy had cursed me to burn in the sun. then as he grew older he realized how much we looked alike and persuaded me to pass as him during the night. It was then that I found that I needed my home earth, for we had not traveled far from the lands I knew well till then. Or maybe it was the dirt of my home earth had only then finely left my clothes.

The tower was filled with cobwebs when we returned, not a soul had been in it since I had fled the place. It was then that Tomus found out my full history and what darkness hunted me. He found things within the tower I would never have thought to look for, things that my sire had kept from me and my siblings of what we could do and what we had to do to stay alive. It was then that my first true bond was made, yet it was not like want I now shear with you Blaire, it was barely there. I knew what he felt but nothing else. He could not feel my needs nor could he hear my thoughts. In this he may have been a lucky one, but it did not give to him any of the advantages that yours had Blaire. He could die by a sword and he did. Five years after our trip to the tower we had been drafted to fight in a war that was over nothing special. It was during the day he had been cut down on the battle field, then taken to the monk that offered what could be called medical care then.

I found him near dead in the tent the monk trying to get him to renounce the devil that possessed him. For the monk had seen me in the night killing off those that snuck into our camp as spys. When he saw me walk up he realized what no one else had, that there was two of us. He called me a demon and drove me from the tent before I could do anything for Tomus. I am not proud of what I did then but I fled the camp taking all his stuff with me into the dark. I feared that the monk would send out hunters for me to bury me in the ground like I should have been many years before.