10-06-2008, 03:03 AM
44. "I Will Protect You"
The day I confessed to my father what I was and who I loved, was both the best and worst day of my life. As I stood there, with meaningless explanations pouring from my mouth, all I could see was the growing frustration in his face as he hated me more by the second , and yet Soda's hand firmly grasping mine blocked out all fear.
The event in my memory is nothing more but a silent black and white film. There are no words or even guides, and the whole thing is played in fast forward, rushing me to the end where I was sure my father would disown me. But then my step mother stands up and everything slows down. She crosses the room, cups my face in her hands and tells me how proud she is of me, the son she never knew. And then my five year-old half sister runs to my side and pulls on my pant-leg until I lean down to her. She hugged me, and in her naive knowledge of the world, told me that I could love whoever I wanted just like she was allowed to love vanilla pudding even though all her friends liked chocolate.
I couldn't see through my tears, but Soda's hand was still firmly grasping mine. I think if he had let go I would have slipped away and simply disappeared. Of course then there was yelling. It passed between my father and his wife like violent and soundless waves. Then my sister started crying and the mayhem exploded in front of me as my father shouted back the insults of me and my disease that I had let spread into his wholesome family. I was nothing to him anymore, a curse upon his name and he wondered what I was going to do when he made that known.
"I will protect him," Soda said, breaking the silent screaming that filled the room. He stared right into my father's eyes and said, "No matter what, I will protect him."
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