I'm not sure if you've suffered abuse before, but that was a very insensitive, and rude, thing to say to someone who has. It took me several years of denial and self-hate to realize what happened to me, so no it's not as easy as "just look back at what happened to you, and don't write that!" On top of that there is a lot of different types of abuse, and abuse isn't "subjective" or about "offending someone". Just reading some blogs on "good romance" isn't going to make a good enemies to lovers romance.

I want to get this novel published, and I, under no circumstance, want it to become another Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey, that make abuse seem okay, or even desirable and "sexy".