96. breaking down

Breaking down is depressing ,a never ending depression that makes me want to curl up and just cry until there is no liquid left in my body. As such though, it is worse with emotions, I can make it all disappear without those silly things. Climbing into the darkness, or falling as my world is torn into the pieces as I watch as what I wanted, emotionally, is not happening. This can be as simple as someone yelling at me, or as annoying as my break up with my boyfriend. It is such then I cry ,and cry, cry until it all falls out onto the floor and drips out, spilling out of my brain int on the abyss for the world to see. It is when I am weak and unable to deal with my life coming to pieces. I rely so much on people, yet nothing has ever come out of that is great for me.

In this world shredding everything that i hold dear, even if it is only one connection, it will kill me, and in doing so, I will no long interact with the other connections. This will cause displeasement in the world of mine and without anything else, I will feel distance enough that if no one knows of my death, nor cares, it will happen.