It was early the next morning when Ethriel was starting to feel… weird.

She’d promised Castiel that she would wait until that evening to return to the bunker, but for some reason she had this sinking sensation that she shouldn’t return. That wasn’t it, however. She felt as if she shouldn’t move. She needed to stay right where she was - in a small motel room in Lebanon, Kansas - and never leave.

It was strange. As if she was extremely exhausted. She’d felt this sensation before, but it was always after a battle, back when she was just an angel. She would need to ‘recharge’, for lack of a better word. But now, she felt as if she was starting to… fall asleep. And it was terrifying.

Almost as terrifying as telling a Winchester that he was paired to the male-vesseled angel he called his best friend.

Why would an angel need to sleep, much less a cherub? The only cases Ethriel had heard of was when an angel was cut off from Heaven and was losing grace. Surely she had not done something so wrong that she was not only losing her connection to Heaven, but also losing her power? Or was every angel experiencing this? Castiel was already human in his own regard, but that was special circumstances, right?

A crushing fear hung over Ethriel’s shoulders then, but she had little time to analyze it, as she came crashing to the ground in sudden unconsciousness.

When she awoke, she found herself… in Heaven. Or at least one of her favorites. It was the personal Heaven of a teenage girl, who had died of cancer. Her name was Molly O’Brien. Her personal Heaven was made up of her childhood home, namely the backyard, and many of her friends from when she was younger. Her parents sat on the porch near the house while she played with two boys in a water gun fight. Ethriel loved this place, as it showed a great source of human happiness and innocence, mixed with the reality that will sooner or later consume them. It was a balance of goodness with wickedness, and Ethriel found it strangely beautiful.

Forgetting for a moment that she shouldn’t be here, Ethriel sat on the steps of the porch, next to the parents. She watched Molly and her friends in their play for… she didn’t know how long. The day was beautiful and she felt genuinely happy.

It was when she felt another’s presence in the slice of Heaven that she remembered where she was and what she should have been doing. Standing up almost automatically, she whipped her head around to see a man standing there. He had a scruffy brown beard and dull blue eyes - and he was looking at her oddly, with an air of calmness that she had never seen before. “Hello?” she asked wearily, not moving.

He smiled, then, stepping closer. A light emanated from him, glowing brilliantly. He seemed at peace - though whether that was a good thing or not, Ethriel wasn’t sure. “Hey, Ethriel. It’s been a while.”

Her brows furrowing and her head tilting to the side, she stepped closer. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”

He chuckled, then, the sound warm and awe-inspiring. “Maybe, I’m not quite sure. My kids seem to have forgotten me lately. Now I don’t really blame them, but you know it’s kind of sad, really. It’s not like it’s been a millenia. Oh, wait…”

“Father?”

It was only a word - a simple question. Bit it made his whole face light up like it was the best day of his life. She hardly thought it would be, given who she thought he was in that moment. It was all a bit wobbly in her brain at this point and she was starting to get scared again. “Yeah, it’s me, kiddo. I knew you at least would remember me. It’s always the little ones who keep looking up to their daddy after he’s gone.”

She was in awe. “How - I do not understand, I… Why are you here?” She rushed Him, then, a grin sprawled across her face. She didn’t want to question it anymore. She just wanted to be with Him.

He wrapped His arms around the cupid, then, nestling into her embrace. Not many of His children were so approachable anymore. Or, rather, they thought He wasn’t approachable, He was never sure. But He loved it when they were able to just let them be with Him without questioning His agenda. It was almost as if they didn’t trust Him anymore, and that hurt. But He’d always loved his little Ethriel. He relished in the embrace for a moment before finally answering her, His grip still tight around her waist. “I’ve come to answer your questions, sweetie. I’ve been hearing quite a bit of inner turmoil from you lately. Thought I’d check up on you.”

She pulled away, then, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I… how? How can you be here? I just… why answer my questions? I know I can hardly be the only one. There are so many angels lost without you. Why me?”

Still grinning, He led her back to the porch and sat down with her. “Because you’re special, Ethriel. Haven’t you ever wondered why I reimagined you? Because I knew you loved more than any of your siblings. You were meant to be cherubim, sweetie. It’s who you are. I was just the idiot that got it wrong.” He laughed, stroking her hair softly. “As for why I’m here, for you specifically, is because your job right now is one of the most important jobs I’ve ever assigned. And I knew you were the only one for it.”

She smiled, then, proud to have been chosen. But then a new thought dawned on her. “Wait. So all of these orders I have been going through so quickly, all the craziness inside my head for the past couple years, all of those were new? The whole ‘list’ idea I came up with is false?”

His smile grew grim, if not guilty. “I’m afraid so, sweetie. I’m sorry I’ve been kind of pushy lately, but Michael always helped me organize the orders. When he got trapped in the Cage, I didn’t really know what to do, honestly. So I just kind of… Well, I went a bit crazy. Sorry about that. I’ve tried to tone it down recently, haven’t you noticed?”

Her eyes wide, she turned to look Him in the eyes and her mouth fell open slightly. “Is that why there has not been any new orders? You were just letting us catch up?”

“Yep. I figured you all were scrambling to get by as it was, and I was a bit busy with the whole being mad at Metatron and such. But I’m over it, as I’m sure the Winchesters will figure it out somehow. They always come through for me. I’m just about ready to promote them to angel status, really.” He laughed. “Well, if they want it at least. To be honest… I don’t think they will. They kind of think a bit less of you guys. Sorry about that. But, well… you can never be to sure.” He grinned, looking upwards and letting out a scoff-like laugh. “Well, at least Dean anyways. I’m not too sure what to think about him. He’s… unpredictable, even for me. And that’s saying something.”

“Wait, so you mean that everything that has happened, that the Winchesters have worked so hard to stop, or make happen or whatever, it was all your plan?” she asked, still in awe.

He looked at her, almost as if He was offended. “Of course. Ethriel, sweetie, nothing happens that isn’t my plan.”

She nodded. Of course. Why would she think that anything that had happened was against God Himself? It was preposterous.

“I can see that the gears in your brain are still a-working away. You know, if you have any questions, any questions at all, just ask. It is why I’m here.”

Ethriel was quick to finally let out the question that had been bouncing around for a while. “Why can I think? I mean, I know that angels of course are capable of thought, but it is extremely rare for one to be able to act on that thought, and be able to force himself or herself away from a situation if he or she desires it. The other cupids are always in touch with one another, always in sync. However I seem to be separate from them in many ways. Why is that?”

He seemed to think this one over for a time, before finally He sighed and looked towards the children playing. “Well, there’s quite a bit of factor that fit in. One, you were created an angel. Yeah yeah, I know cherubim are angels or whatever, but you know what I mean. So the fact that you were reimagined already sets you different from the others.

“Two, free will was always my plan in the end. After creating humans, I wanted my other creations to be able to also do what they wanted, become more like the humans. Because let’s be honest, they’re my favorite.” She nodded, not taking any offence. It was not in her nature. “Castiel seems to be the only one who has really taken this idea to heart, really, which is kind of sad. I mean Gabriel really tried for a long time, especially after I talked to him about it, but in the end, well… he’s still a soldier at heart, and will put his brothers and sisters above all else, even the people and things he cares about most. Which, in all honesty, is not true free will. But bless his heart he tries.” A fond smile grew on His face then, a sadness creeping in. “I kind of miss talking with him.” He said simply, then. But when He glanced back at Ethriel, His smile grew once again and he continued his train of thought. “But really, the main reason you are able to think the way you do, sweetie, is because I want you to.”

Her brow furrowed, then, confused. “Because you want me to?”

“Yep. That, and you’ll need it for your job. It’s kind of an important one, you know.”

That was the second biggest question Ethriel had tumbling around in her mind. “Because all of the orders I have been getting are from you directly, and not from a list of built-up names… Does that mean that Dean Winchester and Castiel are just recently supposed to be together?”

He laughed at that, pure amusement glowing through His features. It was hard not to be profoundly affected by it, and in the end Ethriel stopped fighting it and grinned at him just as brightly. “Well not exactly,” He said after taking a few breaths from the continued laughter. He clutched his sides. “I mean, yeah it’s technically new ‘cause I just gave it to you, but really, I’ve been planning it for… well, let’s just say it’s been a while.”

Ethriel was confused again. “How do you mean?”

Finally, He was able to settle down and look at her again, looking sheepish, as if He felt a bit bashful about being so powerful, but Ethriel knew better. He was just a very laid-back being who was humble to the core and, well, a bit shy. That was one of the main reasons that He didn’t interact with people regularly, she knew that much. But to be honest, she was sure that He took great pleasure in messing with people. And the Winchesters wonder where Gabriel gets it from.

After a long pause, He sighed and finally calmed down and grew somewhat serious. “I’m sure I mustn't explain again that nothing happens that is not my plan.” She shook her head. “Well, think about it, then, sweetie. You go back far enough, you can see everything that led up to those two meeting and becoming who they are today. Sure, Dean’s a hunter, but why? Because his mother was killed and his father wanted vengeance. But what about before that? Azazel wanted Sam to become his champion. Before that? Lucifer picked Azazel to become his right hand. And before that? Lucifer fell. And before? I created Lucifer.

“I am God, sweetie. Your Father. Their Father. Nothing happens unless I want it to happen. I created Lucifer, knowing he would never except humans. I created Hell, because I knew it would create chaos. I let Azazel continue with his plans, because I knew it would only spur on the Winchester bloodline. I sent Castiel to save Dean because I knew Castiel was special - because I had created him that way. I created you a soldier first because I knew you would fight with Castiel. I created you to love humans and their love more than all else. I reimagined you just the way you needed to be. I created everything to happen just the way it has happened, because nothing can never not go according to my plan.

“Everything has happened the way I meant for it, and it will continue to happen like that until the ends of the Earth, the ends of the angels, and the ends of Heaven. It will continue beyond that because I have planned beyond that, and it will keep spiralling further in just the way I created it because that’s just how the universe works. Even in the ends of existence, it will go according to my plan, because it is my plan.”

Ethriel was breathless. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe. Her stomach tightened and her head was spinning, and she felt as if she floor was going to give out on her. But she didn’t say anything. She simply sat there, next to God, her eyes wide. She was silent.

“So I take it that was the end of your questions? ‘Cause…” He looked at the watch on His wrist, a subtle smile tugging at His lips. “I gotta go. And so do you. Farewell, sweetie, my Ethriel.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, her still too stunned to react to much of anything. “I hope to talk to you soon. Or never. We - well, you’ll see.”

And then she was consumed by unconsciousness once again.

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