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sadrain
Ghost Caracal
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#224
Old 12-11-2017, 04:10 AM

"What happened to being at my mercy?" he teased, but the light in his eyes was already dimming. It was hard to hover between nothing and something like this, harder yet because he had not wanted that something with a woman for years and now he had to cull all his urges to just make his way to his goals as he usually did - without care or concern who was hurt in the process. Like he did with anything else. Some would call him a douchebag, some actually did, and usually, Zenon just laughed because 'that's just called getting what you want and deserve'.

Yet, here he was, retreating to his seat, jaw clenched. Sarah was right, but she also wasn't and he just wanted to kiss her senseless and make her forget anything or anyone else. All he had wanted was one damned night with no distractions, just two of them. Before bigger shit went down and she'd not let closer than ten feet radius without some serious convincing. And this is what he got. He took in a deep breath through his nose as they flew even closer to the dome and held it there in shallow attempt to contain himself from doing something stupid. Maybe this time it'd actually work.

In attempt to not show that he was mad with her, he let his hand rest with palm up on armrest. It would be her choice to take it, but damn if she did, he had no intentions of truly letting go. The thought grew stronger and stronger as they slipped into the Dome.




She winced inwardly each time he adjusted the way he'd call her. How absolutely horrible would "Mrs Hadar" sound from his lips? Could she bear hearing it, even once? Adelmar wished for millionth time in her life that she could keep her name upon entering the marriage, but women were not meant to be the ones to carry bloodline forward, though it was through their pain and tears that it happened.

But what hurt more was Mannik said about trust. It was true, he did not have to trust anyone other than his Commander. He didn't trust her, the blood of Wislawa. He had killed for her, but he had killed for many. "I understand." Her gaze dropped, following pattern on the floor, away, away from his heavy boots, just anywhere to not look at him. The vulnerability and fierceness both disappeared behind shutters of demure, blank expression. Her hands hid among the folds of her dress.

Adel wished to ask him to stay, but she had already asked so much and here he was, clearly drawing a line. "You should do as you find best, Mannik." As you always do.

"I will not ask of you more than I already have." The silence weighted heavier on her shoulders, trickled in her heart and once more, she felt trapped and suffocated. It was worse now, when she had caught glimpses of something akin to freedom and happiness. And it would only grow worse. She would become even more alienated to both community she betrayed and the one she tried to save, her hands would shed more blood - directly and indirectly. And there would be no one who would trust her absolutely or whom she trusted. How had she come to depend on thought Mannik trusted her, Adel did not know, but now the simple denial of this cut her open.

How would the four of them ever work together to save at least a corner of the world? ... That was the reason why it hurt so much, right? It had to be.




The vehicle landed silently near the house and, for a moment, Zenon sat there without making a move. He had not spoken much more over the rest of the ride, just said that if she wanted to keep cover of a mission that had led them spending time together, she could - he would not ruin it. And then added that it's not like she had to explain herself to the boy anyway.

But now? Now he had so much and nothing to say at all. These could be the last moments of just them for a long time. Maybe ever, if he didn't play his cards right, if she did not care for him more than a useful tool. When they stepped out, they'd back to their roles, a Hadar engaged to woman he was just learning to see as a friend and Commander of Below, both of them toeing line between enemies and allies. And something more. So, he did the one thing he could, before Sarah could try to get out, he moved to pull her in for a quick, but passionate kiss. Forceful maybe, if she did not reciprocate it, but the hand cradling back of her head was gentle. When he pulled back, his eyes searched her face for a moment, as if trying to memorize it, before he retreated, not quite as calmly as he'd have liked, and got out.

Meanwhile, Adel, no matter if Mannik stayed or not, went to prepare some tea (more if the soldier was around). Passing the spot where the man, her assaulter, had been made her shudder deep to her bones and she felt another wave of tears and fears coming closer, but she moved on. Numb. Be numb. As you always have been. Think only of goal not what it will cost you. Your body and mind has always been expendable. It may have more worth now, but only if you keep it under control. Everything. These and other thoughts spun through her head, wove a rope that fastened her to what she feared may end up to be a pyre. Perhaps, if she was numb enough, she'd not feel the heat of flames until right before...

If Mannik had stayed, she'd offer him one of the cups before taking seat nearby, eyes downcast. The silence was familiar, all too familiar. Always between her and those she yearned to stand by her side. Mother. Father. Brother. Even Zenon. And now Mannik. She was meant to be silent, her success always relied on it. And yet, she could not keep it, not entirely.

"I apologize...." For hurting you. For assuming you trust me. For asking to be by my side in my time of need. To be my friend. For all I cannot and might never fix. For loneliness that haunts your eyes. For scars and losses you bear. "I apologize." She repeated, not finding right words. Perhaps Zenon and Commander would come in any moment now and she'd have to repeat her half-lies, relive a horrible moment all over. Like she'd do for rest of night and beyond. The hollow in her lurched oddly, thinking of saying even something remotely close to truth in front of those two. Adelmar adjusted her jacket and hair once more, a move she didn't even notice she made, trying to hide her torn clothing and bruises.

Maybe Commander would whisk Mannik away to world he belonged before she had to, she thought. That would be better. Zenon was blind to many things, he would not notice. But what about Commander? Would she, too, be too preoccupied with her star pupil and Hadar?
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Last edited by sadrain; 12-14-2017 at 12:38 AM..