This game is fairly simple.
^ is about the post/person above you
< is about you
v is about the post/person that will be below you

EXAMPLE:
Bob posted:
^ she has blue hair
< name is bob
v is the post after me

Next post:
^ his name is bob
< is not bob
v is (hopefully) alive

Do you get it? Good. I guess I'll start

^ my (or yours, depending on who's looking at it) dashboard
< has purple hair
v will be the first post!