Quote:

Originally Posted by Dystopia Making a Good Impression: It takes a couple of hours, but I get the "no make-up" make-up down pat. And the outfit is juuust right- Not too casual, not too stiff, and just the right amount of festive. Outfit? Check. Thoughtful gift? Check. Deep breath, big smile... Its showtime!

"I think my grandmother passed out."

Dinner starts off wonderfully. I laugh at your grandfather's outdated jokes, and I nod sympathetically at your grandmother's complaints about her arthritis and bad hip. Everything is golden until halfway through the main dish. Its delicious, but its given me terrible gas! I try to excuse myself to the bathroom, but your grandparents are firm believers in good old fashioned manners. They insist I stay seated until dinner is over!

I manage to hold everything in through seconds and thirds. The meal finally ends, but before I can sneak away, your grandmother asks me to help clear the table! There's no way I can refuse, but as soon as I pick up the first dirty dish...

Your grandmother is mortified! Ladies don't fart! Especially not at the dining table! She faints dead away, and I escape to the bathroom in shame.