I live on planet melmokitty. Mr. Fluffy BonJiggly and I were desperate to make it to your con, so we could get some of your hole-y swag. BonJiggly filled out our passports in delicious green icing, to celebrate your holiday of St. Paddy's Drunken Disillusionment.

We had just taken our wheels through the worm hole, when we realized our mini-knubblers had licked all of the icing off of the passports. Since we didn't have the proper forms, your officers insisted on searching or orifices for illegal fruits and vegetables.

I will never understand you humans, aren't you giving away peaches at the convention? Is that not a fruit?

We offered them helium, the drug of our home planet, which they seemed to enjoy immensely. They immediately gave an impromptu rendition of the 14th century boys to girls group Off'Sync. We were forced to stay and listen for several days. That is why we missed your con. May we please have a tee-shirt with which to stuff our poor bleeding ears?

Female Tee Please