Deep blue eyes locked onto Martin's as Lixi mulled over what to say next. Unsure if anything could justify her actions properly, she simply started it with a question. "How did you think I managed to get past a city swarming with ravenous demons to reach the gate alive when not even an army of heavens best warriors could survive there?" Lixi looked forward again, staring out at the sand beyond the trees. "We were stuck, trapped in the old prison, you know the one up toward North Shore? That's when I was called out of my body, to speak with your father, and then with you. Crossing the city, moving anywhere within the city, hell even staying there for long, would have been suicide without help. I had to do something to get us through safely. We needed a guide."

Her ribs began to ache as she remembered how their journey with Shad had ended. "We'd encountered a fallen kokopelli, ancient African fertility god, who recognized Yoake as the offspring of one of the experiments he'd been made to assist in. By some grace of divine chance, I managed to talk to him enough that he was swayed away from Joel's service. Shad, that's what he called himself, agreed to help us, in return for help retrieving the flute Joel took from him. I agreed. I made the deal. I sealed it." The grayish rot had been creeping back over Lixi's skin as she spoke, though the rest of her stayed the same this time. "And now I am bound to fulfill my promise, should we survive, once this is ended with Joel."

"If it weren't for Shad's help, we likely never would have made it out alive." She sat in silence for a moment, certain Martin likely doubted her now more than ever. With a quick motion, she rolled to the side, and turned to kneel in front of him in the sand, clutching one of his hands. Her voice had a note of pleading to it, as though she were begging him to understand. "You don't know what it was like there Martin... you can't even imagine what these demons were doing to the angels, angels that I knew once. Some of the men that I saw dead in the streets... they used to be my men, my troupe, people that I trained with, fought with, that I was supposed to have died with... the were ripped to shreds, some of them eaten, some of them... defiled... in other ways, likely while still alive. I just... I couldn't... Martin I couldn't risk that... I had to get out."