Dear Ex #1,
I found you!
After nearly 40 years of wondering if you had become a statistic...either dead or locked up...I have found you!
I wouldn't have more than a morbid curiosity about you if it weren't for our daughter. She says she has no interest in finding you, but she has 4 kids that could use a granddad.
I saw pictures of you and your family and I think you have done quite nicely for yourself...considering the path you were headed down when we divorced.
I think our daughter deserves to hear your side of why she never got to know you...
I see you are still with the gal you were with when we divorced...and I am happy for you that you found a partner for life!
We were mere teenagers when we married and tried to become good parents.
I, being a recipient of my mother's DNA, was mildly and wildly insane at times...and you were a teenaged boy...it wasn't long before you looked for better and I, gladly, saddled myself with our child.
You left me when I was pregnant with our son...the one that died of Crib Death...a loss I had to endure alone...
Yes...I had that one guy that had crushed on me since before you and I married...He helped me through that tough time...me and our daughter.
Do you remember the time I talked a friend of mine into going with me to your house so you could see your daughter?...my friend waited outside so as to avoid any uneasiness... Your girlfriend's girlfriend beat me up while other people kept our daughter in a bedroom... I pretended to pass out and bled on your carpet before the girlfriend's girlfriend made me get up & wash my face...you put our kid in my arms and told me to leave and never come back.
Do you remember when you called me and told me that if I ever saw you in public to keep walking like I never saw you...and that if I ever met a man that wanted to adopt our daughter that you wouldn't contest it...in fact, you didn't want to know about it if possible?
Well...the only man that offered to adopt her molested her when she was 10 years old.
Our daughter has had a HELL of a life! ...partly because of some bad choices on MY part,...but her choices for herself have not been in her best interest.
I can't help but think that if she had had a stable father...even if it was only part-time...but a man who she could call Dad and make her feel like she had WORTH!
In her search to replace you, she fell victim to a pedophile and moved on to 2 abusive relationships and 4 children she works herself silly trying to provide for...conveniently keeping her at a distance from HER children...
I refuse to contact you.
I have relayed the info needed for her to find you...if she chooses.
There was a day that I was so scared of you that I wanted to KILL you!...but, from seeing your photos and reading your bio...you matured into a nice man, a good father and husband...not someone I fear anymore.
It's amazing what 40 years can do to a life...
I hope your's is as stable as it appears.
My life has been far from...stable...or comfortable...or easy...All symptoms of poor choices I made along the way...the first of which being planning our pregnancy and marriage to help me get away from my alcoholic and mentally unstable mother...
I am sorry that I robbed us both of part of our childhoods.
I hope that our daughter finds you...I think you and her would be good for each other, providing your wife didn't object...I remember her being kinda....mean! Lol!
Maybe some day I will meet you on the street...and I WILL say "hello!" ....for I am too old to fear you or your 40 year old threats.
I think (and hope) that you have grown into a much better person than I had anticipated you would.
....but, there is a gorgeous skeleton in your closet and you should know her before it's too late.
May you live a happy life.
Sincerely,
The Ex