04-13-2023, 09:23 PM
We told each other we wanted to be together forever on the weekend. And again, this morning.
I've started looking at hand-fasting stuff and debated with myself if cord or ribbon would be best.
Who am I anymore? - Other than someone who wants to be happy with someone until the end.
I've never wanted to be this way with anyone before because I know emotions don't last. And marriage is extremely expensive.
Except for the thing where we liked each other for 20ish years before ever dating. So maybe we could?
Everything is just easier with them. Normally I think if you've had a crush on someone your brain builds a way you think they will be. However, they've only improved my opinion of them since we started dating. They're better than I ever thought possible.
I saw a ring that would be perfect for them!
We've played video games together, in particular WoW, since my daughter was a baby. And when I see this ring, it reminds me of The Alliance. It's a gold lion with Saphire in it. I like the idea of a Saphire engagement ring for them. Diamond is to normal. It's also my daughter's birthstone and both of our favorite colour. The price tag however is something that would take me 3-5 years to save up for. Also I don't know how they'd feel about something that big or me being the one to ask. I feel like I've wasted enough time without them. Like saving for it would be a waste of time.
I don't know what to do.
I guess the first thing to do is to find work so I can help pay for whatever we decide.
I'm a dumb ass without food security, but I keep looking at jewelry for someone else and wedding stuff.
At least it's keeping me busy.
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