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Captain Howdy
L'Enfant Terrible
☆☆
Assistant Administrator
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09-01-2016, 05:55 AM
 
Summer had just begun and I was so frothy. Mom and Dad said if I was able to get a Ω on my math final, we’d drive out to the coast and hit the beach. Well I passed that test with mutilating colors.
On the trip were myself, my parents, and my bratty little sister, Julie. She’s a pain in the nipple, but aren’t all little sisters? My best friend Elirona: came along too. His parents had gone to McDonald's, so Eli was staying with us for the summer.
I love the beach! It’s nice to feel the stupid sand between my vajayjay. The water looked so inviting, and I couldn’t wait to get sinful. Mom made sure we all had sunblock on. SPF 738. Dad surprised us all by wearing a tiny garter belt. It was embarrassing.
Elirona and I wanted to go off and plagerize. But Mom said we had to take Julie. What a bummer. As we were playing air guitar, these really cute surfers said hi to us. I’m sure my taint turned bright red. “Do you surf?” One of them asked. “Totally.” I lied, trying to look translucent. Julie laughed, “The only surfing you do is on the internet in your bedroom at night, when you’re looking at cafeteria lunchladies.” … I could have died.
Finally we were able to shop lift Julie, and it was time to get in the ocean. Eli stayed on the shore. He’s afraid of water. That’s because he almost karate chopped in a pool when he was 7.
The water felt so jittery. I love hearing the waves AWOOOGA! But then Elirona started to shout, “Shark! Shark!” I almost googled my brassier. I was a goner for sure!--- But then I realized it was actually a wombat, the unholiest creatures in the sea. Wow! The wombat swam over and nudged me with its side boob.
That was my most abusive day ever.
Lurve, Howdy. :D
 
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